Drank for the first time in almost a year
 

Nothing too crazy. 2 unplanned glasses of wine over a couple hours out with friends. I noticed that my face immediately went flush and I started feeling dizzy almost right away from having not drank in so long. It was a mellow evening for the most part but I felt myself starting to think about getting another glass, doing shots - all things I NEVER think about anymore. Damn that alcohol mind! Today I am beside myself with guilt. Why did I do that? I'm so mad at myself. I guess I thought it would be no big deal and perhaps it wasn't but the fact is I AM NO LONGER A DRINKER and I'm actually very vocal about not drinking anymore. I like life sober and being sober has actually been pretty easy for me. UGH!! At least I know I won't be doing that again! I can't fool myself into thinking that I can handle drinking like normal. I do NOT miss this horrible morning after feeling - the headache, the guilt, the upset stomach.

Soberforme, thank you for the cautionary tale. It is one that may prevent me and others from sticking their toe in those waters.

Thanks for sharing the lesson sober4metoday,

I'll try and make sure i don't do the same sometime ,

Bestwishes, M

I had 11 years sobriety in 2008. I had completed an Ironman 140.6 event and had a single beer at the banquet.

It is now 2013 and I am on day 1.

I have not gotten over 90 days in the last 4+ years.

Testing the waters can lead to a very loooong hard, expensive, lonely, devastating road.

Todd

Thanks everyone for the support! And Todd, I saw how easy it would be to fall back in to my old habits. And I have to be honest, I wasn't going to order that 2nd glass at first but then that little voice in the back of my head said "go ahead and order another" I hadn't heard that voice in almost a year. And then towards the end of that 2nd glass the voice got a little louder "shots would be fun" "go ahead and order another". Thank God I started feeling physically uncomfortable because of the wine and left or it could have had the potential of turning out very ugly. I don't ever want to hear that voice again.

sober4- I am so glad that is your story. Let's please try to save you, and make the only setback. Please do not beat yourself up thinking you blew it.

You did blow it minorly, but good lord YOU SURVIVED in a very short time.

I didn't have a place like this.

be grateful, and really see how lucky you got. I can tell quite a story about my last years, no fun in there.

Glad for you

A year +- is a very long time for an alcoholic not to drink, so there is that to be pleased about.

The next couple of months might merit your close attention to avoid other similar errors.

I think it's very hard for most of us to accept that the damn voice isn't going away ever. It's just there lurking waiting for an opening to jump in. It's probably very normal to test it out after being successful for so long. Thanks for sharing that it isn't a good idea for those that might be wondering. Glad it was a short lived episode for you.

You shut that voice down when it came to continuing with shots, that is what is important. You stopped. That is what a year of sobriety helped you with. Consider it a Blip, and continue your sober time as if it never happened.

I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you're back sober4metoday :)

D

I am real good at starting drinking after years of sobriety. Seems I can't ever stop experimenting and coming up with the same conclusion--I am alcoholic and can't drink!

I am glad you stopped at two drinks. Don't let this time fool you into thinking you could stop at two drinks again. It might weaken you into accepting the shots. Better to stop before the first drink, from one who is starting yet again.

You will feel better tomorrow. I always noticed that I would feel extreme guilt and anxiety about drinking the next day and I think it because the alcohol is still physically in your system. Once two days would pass I would feel no depression at all. It's weird how that works. I'm so glad that I abstain completely now and I really don't think about alcohol that much except when I come here daily

Thanks again for all the encouragement and support. I'm feeling better tonight and I'm hoping to soon see this episode as a minor mistake on an otherwise amazing year of change and progress! I guess I had forgotten that I'm not just someone who chooses not to drink, I am an alcoholic "still". And even with those 2 drinks in me I found myself behaving in the same ridiculously embarrassing ways that I used to - talking jibberish, unsteady in my walk, starting to slur my words. 2 DRINKS did that to me. And to think I used to have 2 drinks as my warm up and had no problem polishing off 2 bottles of wine (sometimes cracking open a 3rd or even 4th if it were a particularly bad bender) all by my lonesome in one sitting. What terrible things I was doing to my health and wellbeing all those years. Makes me sad that I wasted so much of my life and that my body was so badly broken down that it didn't even fight the drink anymore. At least this time my body reacted extremely negative to the drink - the flushing, sweating, upset stomach, unsteady walk, slurring - it did not like what I was feeding it and it let me know BIG TIME. That, I guess, is some comfort to know.

So tomorrow will be a new day and I'm looking forward to it!

Btw - Feb 14th would have marked 1 year! Unbelievable.

Sober, I had almost five years, and I know how you're feeling. I am trying to get back on track, but am so far doing better than I was last week. I am not drinking tonight, but I have drank twice this week, I have to admit it. A whole bottle on Tuesday, and three glasses last night while at a comedy club (I had a designated driver), but still... No, no, no!!!! I have to stop.

Good news (which I want to share), I FINALLY found a therapist today who I think is going to be a good fit for me because I need to do some one on one sessions besides meetings and here. I probably need to go back on antidepressants again for a while too. I'm in my early 40's so I'm going through a lot of "changes". Lol!!!

Good for you, and I support you, any clean time is still good, I'm proud of you. :)

Glad you made it back. It took me 3 yrs to get back when my head told me it would be ok to have a bud. And it was for the first couple of times..
Then BANG !!!! I was right back in the madness..

Thank you for sharing! I feel for you! It's tough to accept that you've allowed yourself to get knocked back down again. One of those "no one to blame but yourself" moments and those really stink! I know that both you and I have what it takes to dust ourselves off and keep moving forward.

The right therapist is hard to find - I hope that this one works out for you. I turned 40 about 6 weeks after I stopped drinking last year. And I know the next few years are going to be interesting to say the least! Hang in there! We can do this!

I drank after 10 years. I didn't stop at 2 glasses of wine. I binged nightly for the next 7 years...literally descended into madness.
I see you used AVRT. Have you considered a reread/fine tuning?

Uh huh!!! I literally made many phone calls for at least a week, I think I'm going to like her, she's got a strong Austrian/German/Swiss accent, but she's seems like she's going to be a good fit.

The first lady that was available was so like a "stone" when I talked to her, I called and cancelled. I gotta be comfortable. Thanks Sober, keep coming back!! I will too, and good luck with the 40's ;)

Hee hee...

Just think that what happened was part of the larger picture of how you will live the rest of your life. In that context, it's not as bad as you think. Only a single step on your life long journey.

I hate that voice!! I am glad you stopped, you were able to think things through after the wine and that is something to be proud of. You also came right back on here. :)

A year without drinking is amazing. Put the two glasses of wine behind you, and focus on all of the positive choices you have made.