amandy

So as I've said this will be my first attempt at getting my problem under control. The only other time I quit drinking was when I was pregnant and I didn't have a dependency then, so it wasn't an issue.

Yesterday was day one. You know there have been times where I would go maybe one day without drinking. But mostly because I drank so much the night before I was too sick to drink. So I just didn't want to. But... thats the longest its ever been.. ONE day.

Yesterday was day one and although I KNEW I had gone a day here and there without drinking before, at least then I knew I could if I wanted to. Yesterday was hard because I wanted to but I couldn't. Had some pretty high anxiety but nothing unmanageable.

I tried drinking a bunch of coffee, and keeping busy in the kitchen. It seemed to help but I still had that feeling in my chest.

And the sleep... Surprisingly I slept through the night. Even with the coffee before bed. This morning I feel good, level headed, and I have this feeling that today will be a little easier.

I do have a question though. For those of you that drank to overcome a shyness, to feel more confident etc. When you started recovery did you feel like you were just instantly a boring person? I feel like I can't find much to talk about, or laugh about, and at the moment I just feel sort of blank. Thoughts? I know its only been 1 day...

Thank you to the SR community for all of the encouraging posts. I truly believe seeing so many strong people will help me through this journey.

Sapling

I don't know what your drinking history is...I drank daily for 35 years...And it got progressively worse...I'm not real sure what day one was like...I had a medical detox for 5 days...Did a lot of sleeping...I know that. I was in a fog my first month...I had a lot of undoing to do. I needed to keep myself busy...Get out of my comfort zone...Find a program of recovery...and put the work into it. I still have to work at it....But it's becoming a part of my life that I accept will be the way I live. I'm happy now...I haven't had to pick up a drink in a year and a half...I have tools I can use when life throws me curveballs...I'm finally living...One day at a time. Miracle is the only word I can use to describe it.

Sapling

PS....Take it easy on the coffee...Just living without alcohol will keep you wired enough for awhile.

escapist

I am naturally shy. When I was was drinking I did have a lot to say. Unfortunately when I sobered up I wished I had not said anything. When I first stopped drinking all I could think about was drinking. I could'nt hold an interest in anything. I am just starting to get excited again. Conversation is not such a struggle anymore.

amandy

Thats good to hear. I feel like I am really excited to get clean, I'm excited for the changes in my body, I'm excited to start working on personal issues without drowning my insecurities. Its a time to learn to love yourself, that might be my biggest challenge.

fatherof2ds

I have had similiar thoughts, alcohol defined who I was. I am only on day 4, but I am having to turn down social invites etc. I think at some point we will get to redefine our life, but first we (at least I) need to get over a few of the physical battles, then start looking at why I drank, and some point after that redefine myself (or maybe the redefinition starts as you fill in the drinking time with other activities). Just a ramable, I know....

amandy

Ramble on... Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Yesterday was day one and my bf's birthday. We are sorely broke from xmas, so we weren't doing anything. He gets home late about 8pm from work and I just couldn't find anything to talk about. I'm normally 6-8 shots down by the time he gets home and full of conversation, so last night was just off.. I felt terrible that it was his bday and I was so unentertaining. Its gonna take some getting used to.

Dee74

I think most of us felt that way
give yourself time

I recommend focusing on the not drinking for now - thats a big enough job...the other stuff can come later

D

Thepatman

Surprisingly and unexpectedly with time your old self will start surfacing again.