Reason #1 Why I Drink and Started to Drink - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Reason #1 Why I Drink and Started to Drink


To make other people and life more interesting.......

i'm scared there's not going to be many options when I'm sober. icocktail waitress at a strip club in a city vry well known for the party scene. ive got 8days sober under my belt, tonight (Wednesday) will be my record- in 15 years! (unless by Dr's orders, surgery, or antibiotics.) pathetic but true.

anyway ---
i am so used to men being more fun and more interesting when we are drinking. hate it when u first date someone, and you have morning (SOBER, LIGHTS ON, SUN STREAMING THRU THE WINDOWS) sex. :-O my mind is always in the gutter. probably because on the surface im a good girl. the anti-ho.

its gonna be a very lonely next few months (years?!?!) but its worth it because i am a raging, blackout, cant have just one drink, poetically tragic but not in a cute way , out-of-control DRUNK. the end. err, to be continued.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:24 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't have any advice but wanted to welcome you to our recovery family! :ghug3
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Congrats on 8 days.

For me I had to change some of the things I did, even my job. I also don't go to bars or pubs as I am worried it might trigger me. I don't hang around people that don't support me. I could never work in a bar, but that is just me.

Everyone has their own comfort levels. I honestly could find any reason to drink. I could even make myself have a bad day so that I would have an excuse. I had to change my thinking too.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I honestly could find any reason to drink. I could even make myself have a bad day so that I would have an excuse. I had to change my thinking too.
I can (and DO ) find any reason to drink too :/
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi lcakes - welcome

I was a drinker and drug taker for the best part of 30 years. The party life defined me.

It also damn near killed me.

Other things define me now - peace, serenity, meaning, purpose.
And somehow I still manage to have fun...

I can remember being out on the party scene for days and yet having these moments of crushing, empty loneliness, unhappiness and despair...

I'm happy now for the first time in my adult life - maybe becuase the happiness comes from within and I'm not trying desperately to find it outside?

I know giving up is scary, terrifying even....but you obviously have good reason for considering it and for coming here....

Give it a chance - none of us here would be in recovery if we felt we were losing out on the deal

D
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome lcakes...like everyone says...each one us has our comfort level....however I too could never work in that type of environment...I struggle with the "im a fun guy" attitude because it only ever happened when I was drinking and as of late, I only drank alone in the dark and I hid it from everyone so it finally put me in that spot....Congrats on 8 days...I am almost 2 weeks now...hang around...this is a great place to learn...
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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If someone just stops drinking, end of story, I think they're in for trouble. Especially someone who gets high on the other things life has to offer, as the excitement of the lifestyle it sounds like you lead. I'm a musician, and felt when I put down the drink that the fun was over. And while the "action" was over for a short while, the fun eventually got a lot more intense, and a lot more responsible. A lot of things needed to grow and change in me though, or I never would have been able to keep the drink down. I got that change through AA. There are a lot of other methods people use here, but for me AA was and remains the best. Ya might, if you haven't already, want to start looking to some program for your recovery. The chances of staying sober without one are slim. The chances of staying sober and happy without one, are even less. Welcome, and best of luck.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome. If you read my first post it was about a date i had and how it ended because of my drinking . If you truly clear your mind and speak honestly to yourself.. You dnt wanna keep meeting guys drunk because thats not reality.. U will never find something real if your constantly not present. And trust me im no doctor .. im just a kid from NYC who tries to fill his voids with alchool and sex.. And who relates to how you feel.. But what makes us addicts is because we are scared be us sober in a way..

Let me ask you this. Is a night of drinken sex worth a life of continusly killing your body with this toxic liquid. I think me and an " anti- ho" will both agree on this one

Hang in there my sister.. We can get through this together...
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I started drinking when I was around 15 years old. Living in uptown NYC is pretty easy to get your hands on drugs and alcohol at a early age.

Move to ten years later I finally realised that I have a drinking problem. All my funds use to go on alcohol and I was always hung over the following day. Drinking always gave me that confidence and made me more social. Im a real laid back quiet dude but when I drink, I loosen up and enjoy myself.

On January 1st, I had to look back at the previous years and ask myself, do I want to keep living like this? If I want different results I have to take different action. That's when I said, enough is enough.

I still think about drinking and even lost sleep but boy do I feel good. I quit both drinking and smoking. Now I'm up at 5 in the morning, I eat healthy and workout.

Hopefully these positive actions will increase my confidence and self esteem so I won't have to depend on alcohol to be more social.
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:52 AM   #10 (permalink)
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If you value your recovery I would change your job. I had to change mine. I was a drug dealer. And also dating gets better sober. Even the crazy spontaneous sex side of thing. We all have some kind of relationship crap going on but you can work through it and it becomes special.

Natom.
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