Committed to Change.
 

So today is day 2 and I cant beileve im trying to get sober again. This past sunday was a true eye opener for me tho. I had been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and finally had the perfect date planned on sunday. I was so nervous my addiction of course convinced me to take a couple back before the date. Why did i listen?!? Thru out the date i continued to drink and of course began to make a fool of myself. By time we sat for dinner he was pissed and bascilly told me my behavior was unexceptable.. He was disappointed in me and just wanted to get outta there. He was so right! Altho i heard it from my friends and family for the past eight years i guess hearing it from a complete stranger was what i needed to truly hear it. I keep sitting here beating myself up for messing it up with the guy of my dreams and how disgusted he must be of me..until i had a revelation that this is so not about him. This is a me issue! Maybe just maybe he was sent in my life for that brief moment to show me myself.I NEED TO GAIN CONTROL!! Because head not created to be an embarrassment to anyone.

I guess i wrote this post because if there is anyone who can relate or simply just have a word of encouragement is greatly appreciate that...

I'm a new old timer..... been struggle with getting it right for a long time.

BUT the one thing I have learned over the years is that.

You'll never make a fool of yourself again drinking as long as you dont pick up that first drink like I have sooooo many times before.

Right now I am stressed out over things I said and did on Sunday as well... I need a plan this time around.

Gall

You did what alcoholics do and will continue to do. I certainly have done the same. The insanity can end anytime you want it to but the first step is a commitment to sobriety. The second is a plan to stay sober a day at a time.

AA saved my and countless others lives

Thanks gall. Your so right. I have to remind myself of that. A friend also told me a powerful statement that has helped me these last two days. Look at that drink your tempted to drink and say to yourself " is this all im worth ?" Because i gotta tell you the shame and embarrse ment i felt on sunday.. Whew!! Lol.. I am worth wat more than that foolishness i was doing ..

Hang in there pal.. We are in this together.

C2C so sorry you had to get the wake up call this way. You have a great attitude and way of looking at it though, which should help in your recovery journey. Maybe down the line you will run into the guy again, and get a second chance. I think it's reasonable to say that you are more likely to find and keep any guy of your dreams sober rather than drunk. Sometimes it does take a stranger's reaction to get the ball rolling.

Glad you're ready to make a new start!

Free fall.. Thanks so much!! I deleted his number so i wudnt be tempted to call and continually apoligize and if its meant to be our paths will cross.. But this is the time in my life to focus on me.. I will NEVER be successful in relationships.. Career.. My family if i continue down this path of drinking.

This SR site is awesome!! Lol

Welcome Committed2Change!

I think most of us learned the hard way - I know I did!:ghug3 I love what you said, though...... maybe he really was your "knight in shining armor" in a way. :)

Glad you're here - I think it's great that you're focusing on yourself right now. When I stopped drinking I had to learn how to deal with feelings and like myself again. Life is so much better sober.