denying the delusion
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Des Moines IA
Posts: 377
denying the delusion
It's a serious aspect of being alcoholic, that despite our experience of deciding to stop drinking forever the thought returns repeatedly that a drink wouldn't hurt. Because we've again gone the few weeks or few months or few years we now can expect our future drinking to alter completely and not be like those last times we did the same thing and were disappointed to find that things again turned out unsatisfactory.
Now, that we've decided firmly that we're not going to allow things to get out of control we can forget that we earlier decided firmly that we won't drink, as that decision was made under duress because our drinking had made us feel so badly, and doesn't really count.
It only takes a slice of time to buy those types of thoughts. Sometimes people will take a few days or weeks to kid themselves, but ordinarily we only need to believe the unbelievable for the time it takes to get the first drink down.
Of course sanity returns hand in hand with the sickness we've brought on ourselves. Assigning the blame to some circumstance or someone becomes important because otherwise we've no handy answer if someone asks why we willingly committed such a harmful and illogical act that makes zero sense.
It was what she/he said, it was watching Old Charlie showing control and drinking well, it was the kids complaining, the last election, the snows in Tibet, the lack of sizable Sturgeon found nowadays.
Imo, one cannot be alcoholic without this common little trait we share. We don't have it in any real degree regarding other things.
If I decide not to buy another silly looking table lamp I won't find myself at the lamp store pickup up another 6 to bring home and pile into the room overflowing with the silly lamps I bought the other times I decided not to do that.
New people might want to view these comments in relation to their experience, and when the usual insanity begins perhaps recognize it as such, and at first awareness do something to head off going again down that old path.
If the something tried doesn't prove out well, then again imo it's important to make the needed adjustments to find something that will be effective long term. Short term is fine in that it reduces the harm we might have done were we drinking during that short period of sobriety, but it gets hard on our minds and bodies to jump back and forth between two different modes of living.
If a pure, well thought out plan that is fully implemented to benefit ourselves fails a few times, then it's not reasonably useful and a new (again, fully implemented) plan is logical to employ at that point to acheive the results we desire.
Half done plans in which we fall short of participating fully and fail are the results we are personally responsibile for. The responsibility from those avenues for sobriety that we go all the way with but fail to keep us sober imo cannot be laid at our feet.
Most of those who will read this are currently sober, and the thought of drinking again at this point is far away and all talk of the delusions behind most alcoholics drinking again does not apply today.
May we all have a good day.
Now, that we've decided firmly that we're not going to allow things to get out of control we can forget that we earlier decided firmly that we won't drink, as that decision was made under duress because our drinking had made us feel so badly, and doesn't really count.
It only takes a slice of time to buy those types of thoughts. Sometimes people will take a few days or weeks to kid themselves, but ordinarily we only need to believe the unbelievable for the time it takes to get the first drink down.
Of course sanity returns hand in hand with the sickness we've brought on ourselves. Assigning the blame to some circumstance or someone becomes important because otherwise we've no handy answer if someone asks why we willingly committed such a harmful and illogical act that makes zero sense.
It was what she/he said, it was watching Old Charlie showing control and drinking well, it was the kids complaining, the last election, the snows in Tibet, the lack of sizable Sturgeon found nowadays.
Imo, one cannot be alcoholic without this common little trait we share. We don't have it in any real degree regarding other things.
If I decide not to buy another silly looking table lamp I won't find myself at the lamp store pickup up another 6 to bring home and pile into the room overflowing with the silly lamps I bought the other times I decided not to do that.
New people might want to view these comments in relation to their experience, and when the usual insanity begins perhaps recognize it as such, and at first awareness do something to head off going again down that old path.
If the something tried doesn't prove out well, then again imo it's important to make the needed adjustments to find something that will be effective long term. Short term is fine in that it reduces the harm we might have done were we drinking during that short period of sobriety, but it gets hard on our minds and bodies to jump back and forth between two different modes of living.
If a pure, well thought out plan that is fully implemented to benefit ourselves fails a few times, then it's not reasonably useful and a new (again, fully implemented) plan is logical to employ at that point to acheive the results we desire.
Half done plans in which we fall short of participating fully and fail are the results we are personally responsibile for. The responsibility from those avenues for sobriety that we go all the way with but fail to keep us sober imo cannot be laid at our feet.
Most of those who will read this are currently sober, and the thought of drinking again at this point is far away and all talk of the delusions behind most alcoholics drinking again does not apply today.
May we all have a good day.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by hamabi
If the something tried doesn't prove out well, then again imo it's important to make the needed adjustments to find something that will be effective long term.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago Burbs- Illinois
Posts: 202
Nice post Hamabi- I'm realizing after only just under 2 weeks sober how common this "I can now drink again" thought is. Having never actually tried to quit its amazing how 8 or 10 days goes by and I start having these ridiculous creeping thoughts of "well I have gone 8 days,,,, 8 DAYS!!!!!!- I must be cured eh?".
Reading about so many with the exact same silly thoughts really helps. I don't like to hear about people relapsing but when talking about it here and at meetings they are helping me to understand without actually having to relapse myself. Seeing people die from alcoholism/addiction is another unpleasant reminder- nothing can bring them back but I feel the least I can do is heed the warning that their death should represent.
Reading about so many with the exact same silly thoughts really helps. I don't like to hear about people relapsing but when talking about it here and at meetings they are helping me to understand without actually having to relapse myself. Seeing people die from alcoholism/addiction is another unpleasant reminder- nothing can bring them back but I feel the least I can do is heed the warning that their death should represent.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Nice post Hamabi. I think that voice will always pop up from time to time, and being prepared to handle it is very important. I like the table lamp analogy as well. If you had said shoes I would have to disagree, one can never have too many pairs of shoes! 
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ca
Posts: 51
Awsome post. So true! The delusion is very strong. I tried so many times because my mind told me it would be ok, only to wake going how did that happen.
Even after two years the voice comes around saying that a drink would be a good idea. But I know it won't be one or two drinks for long. I have to play the tape out and keep listening to great posts like this.
Even after two years the voice comes around saying that a drink would be a good idea. But I know it won't be one or two drinks for long. I have to play the tape out and keep listening to great posts like this.
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