Originally Posted by 25years2long
disturbingly vivid dreams whenever I am able to dooze off.
I've had those. They are horrific. People I don't even know are trying everything in their capacity to kill me... repeatedly, but I can't die. Smashing glass over my head, stabbing me with knives over and over. I never hurt anyone enough for them to want to retaliate in such an extreme way.
I've done some stupid stuff over the years (who hasn't?), but I'm not aware of anyone hating me because of it. If they do, they haven't told me.
It's probably a biochemical thing as well as all the stuff that gets knocked out by drinking yourself to sleep. Stop that cycle and you're going to have to dream, and it isn't always random stuff. It can be very specific and targeted towards a personal sense of guilt and shame.
Perhaps being a stumble bum is enough to be ashamed about. I don't have a history of being mean to people.