Welcome to SR terneto. You were clean 7 yrs., so you know it can be done. Please read some of the stories here, and keep posting. Congratulations on wanting a better life, and for continuing to try.
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle
A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.