Greenfeet

I'm new here. I found this forum today as I sat at work, going through a moderate case of alcohol withdrawl. I've been going to AA meetings on a daily basis, but when a "slippery" situation came up last week (a party at my house) I drank...again.

The drinking brings on a crushing depression the next day...and the only thing that helps is more alcohol. It's a vicious cycle that I just can't seem to break.

I have so much to live for, and I'm screwing it up. But at least I didn't drink today.

I'm dreading going to bed tonight. I won't sleep, just toss, turn, sweats and chills. It almost makes me want to drink.

I won't, because my wife deserves better. She dosen't deserve the pain I've inflicted on her with my drinking.

Sorry for the rant, but I'm glad to be here.

1Marty

Hey greenfeet, glad you posted here! I'm Marty, an alcoholic. This is a great place to be! Lots of supportive people. I've been around here only a short time and I find browsing through theese forums helps me a lot in my sobriety. I also had a lot going for me, and alcohol really screwed up my life. Congrats on deciding not to drink today!

ted

HELLO GREENFEET,I KNOW THE STORY WELL.WE USUALLY HURT THE ONES CLOSE TO US.I'M TIRED OF THAT INSANE CYCLE ALSO.THAT FIRST ONE,SETS THE BALL ROLLING.YOU WILL FIND LOTS OF WISDOM HERE.STICK AROUND,GET WELL......STAY STRONG ted

godsonmyside

Just dont pick up, go to a meeting a day if you can. Talk to someone, bring up a topic at a meeting, sk someone to sponsor you and use them as much as possible. If your ass falls off, pick it up, put it in a bag, take it to a meeting, they can help you put the pieces together. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

Dan

Hey man, rant away! Get through tonight. Use the sweats and the chills to your advantage. Learn a lesson. And tomorrow, when you really feel like picking up again to ease the crawling skin, try and remember. I know exactly how you feel right now.
Yeah, good luck friend.

Justme57

Hi there greenfeet! welcome to SR!

my name is Lee, alcoholic , and I have only 6 months sobriety , and attend AA too!

I drank after 1 week sober , and found the depression crushing as well, and that was after I had been attending AA for that week.

I went to a meeting the next day , and shared what I had done , I was very nervous re doing so, but was given support and love. I learned from picking up, that it is indeed the first drink that does the damage , I had not really understood that til then.

You have learned a valuable lesson, and it will hold you in good stead as you continue your recovery journey .

I am having a particularly bad day today , here I am 6 months sober , and suddenly , out of the blue , I feel as if I am back at day 3 ! BUT I will not have a drink, cos I learned from my experience There will come a time that you too will be able to draw on the stregth and experience that this episode has taught you .

pick yourself up, get to a meeting , ring your sponser , use your phone numbers , and this too will pass.

One day at a time ! You CAN do it

HUGX
lee

Laci

Hi Greenfeet & welcome to a wonderful place. SR has saved me over and over and over again...now I guess it is time I saved myself.

I read your post and re-read it several times and I can so relate to your feelings. I was sober once for 10 years and then I went out and drank for quite a long time until I found SR. I was sober with SR for six months and then I went back out.

The depression we have from drinking & then having to drink the next day to "feel better" is totally a vicious cycle. I don't know what to say to you except to keep coming back here and find your way in life. You sound like you have a loving family much like I do. However I am seeing that it is up to me to get sober and stay sober and not lose that loving family.

I sure relate to you right now. Sending you huge hugs and lot's of prayers. Darn this is a tough disease isn't it. However we know what we have to do to.

Love
Laci
(Living on borrowed time)

Greenfeet

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. I had 5 years of solid sobriety, and then I went back out. I've been out for over a year, and this madness has to stop.

I have the most amazing woman in the world as my wife. She is totally supportive and non-judgemental. She just wants to see me get well.

I'll be back tomorrow. I'll go to a meeting. And I WON'T take that first drink.

Thank you all.

Dan

Awesome!

Anna

Welcome Greenfeet,

I also was caught up in that vicious cycle and couldn't see any way out. It was so depressing! But, I did get out of it and you can too. And, you just need to not drink today. It works. I'm glad your wife is standing by you, it will help a lot.

Anna

In memory of miracle

Greenfeet - Welcome! I can relate. I went out after six years! I am back in the process of recovery today and grateful! Trish.

ted

JUST SAYING HELLO,HOPE YOUR DOING OKAY.HANG IN THERE...STAY STRONG ted :thumb

Greenfeet

Hi all,

Thanks again for the encouragement. I'm still doing well, taking it one day at a time. I'm going to meetings every day, I haven't taken that first drink today (and I won't), and I'll be back here tomorrow.

Thanks again, and be well.

Steve

Justme57

Good Morning Steve

So glad to see you are hanging in there

CONGRATULATIONS!

HUGX
Lee

In memory of miracle

Nice goin! I am pullin for ya!

ted

GREENFEET,HOPE ALLS WELL.JUST SAYIN HEY.MEETING TONITE 10:00! STAY STRONG ted :thumb