Is it possible to make too big a deal about getting sober?
 

I see so many books, approaches, programs, forums, and meetings...and so many chronic relapsers (myself included). I wonder if I am making too complicated an issue of how to get sober; ever seeking and never deciding; always discussing and thinking, but never doing; always trying, but never succeeding... Might I have built too much mystery into the solution? Maybe sobriety is more simple and straightforward than I currently think, but I am too afraid of...success, or failure.

I am not trying to undermine any approaches, but I simply don't know.

AA has a simple solution in early sobriety. Got to a meeting everyday and do not drink inbetween meetings.

Eventually other things need to be done but this simple concept works for a very long time.

I think that if you can stop without a fuss you should do so. However, all of these books, approaches etc are for the people who cannot just stop. People who do not need them should forgo them.

The solution is simple, stop drinking. All those books and programs are there to help you keep from starting again.

If drinking was as difficult as calculus, we would find a way to do it. Sobriety is as simple or a complicated as you make it. You just choose to drink.

I don't think it really matters what direction you take...As long as you're trying something. I chose AA for the simple reason my rehab recommended it...Then I saw how many people it worked for. Overthinking recovery will get you nowhere...Without action...All you're left with is thoughts.

Recoveryism can also be big business. Buyer beware.

That's what I like about AA...It's free.

Do you play golf? Tennis? It seems so simple, does it not? Merely hit the golf ball straight down the fairway. Or the tennis ball swiftly over the net. But how many books are written about it? Maybe the only way is to focus, practice, keep it simple and don't take a drink, one day at a time. I've found it very helpful to seek the companionship of other recovering alcoholics (who may also be golfers or tennis players). (Tip for the day- never get in front of a drunken golfer)

W.

I've been wondering the same thing, a lot! It's easy for me to throw a lot of blockages up in my path, procrastinate, make it too difficult. I still don't know what the solution is but just relaxing and stopping expecting perfection from myself are two things that truly help.

I over analyze everything. My DH cuts to the chase on all subjects. (For 28 years this Yin Yan relationship has worked.) Just last night, in response to yet ANOTHER of my exhaustive discussions on recovery he said, "You are making too big a deal out of it. Stop over thinking it. You don't drink. Lots of people don't. No big deal." :) I had to laugh.

Have you stopped drinking, jazzfish?

It's an action thing. We either drink or don't drink.

Then we move forward....

:)

Maybe we should define chronic relapsers (and I have long been one) as active drinkers. I think I won't believe I've relapsed again until I have a month sober.

Oh, and I see your concern about all that material, but I just finally got around to reading AVRT and I think it will help. We spent all those dollars on alcohol, books cost the same as two books.

LOVE this! Straight shooting wisdom.

I think this will be my recovery program from now on! I also laughed.

It's like weddings.

It can be done in ten minutes in a courthouse or church with the couple and two witnesses, or.....

Sometimes people end up breaking up, or postponing the wedding for years so they can obsess over the details, disagree, argue, go into debt over it, you get my drift.

Planning and plotting and hand wringing isn't the same as doing a thing.

I distracted myself from actually quitting for a LONG time trying to make sure I was doing it "right"

Threshold, I too delayed quitting for a long time. I think I was generally looking for (as they say in AA) a gentler, softer way. There was also a part of me that wanted to be "saved"; for there to be some sort of dramatic intervention ending in a fun '28 days with Sandra Bullock' sort of rehab experience.

I delayed quitting for decades. Honestly, the thought of having to go to AA was part of why I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Of course I had no real knowledge of AA beyond the stereotypes either...I wish I had read more and known about other recovery methods before I got to SR. I might not have stopped sooner, but I would have had less excuses and more motivation.

I know from teachers' courses that different people respond to learning and testing in different ways. Myers Briggs personality test also points out the differences. I wonder if there's ever been a study showing that certain types of people respond better to specific recovery methods?

I like to keep it really simple. I don't want to give drinking a starring role in my life anymore. Just say "no".

The solution is one of the most simplest things imaginable, just don't drink alcohol again ever...

Staying stopped is the hard part!!

Wow, what a great question! What if we could do "pre-recovery" testing to help guide people on the path that would have the greatest likelihood of success? It would save unnecessary floundering and pain for us addicts and might even get us to quit using sooner, too.

Wish I had a huge research clinic and budget to find out....