HereIAm321

What is it about AA meetings that makes me want to drink???

CODPlayer

For me, it's remembering all the "fun" about alcohol and not the consequence. I've caught myself in AA meetings fantasizing about the beginning of ones story and tuning out when it turns south. For me I have to remember how the story always ends...

hypochondriac

When I was newly sober SR kind of made me wanna drink, and so did AA when I finally got there. All that talk about drinking... But later on it had the opposite effect. I don't know, I think anything would have made me wanna drink.

Ohio1

Personally AA meetings eliminate my need to drink for some reason.

That book "Under the Influence" however makes me want to drink lol. I think the detailed descriptions of alcohol entering the body and going to the brain etc... make me want that feeling again.

I guess it shows the incredible individuality of all our personal battles.

sugarbear1

It's not the meetings, it's what's going on in your mind.

Only you can figure that out, if you can be brutally honest with yourself.

terribob

For me it took a bit to get out of that mindset. I even went to drink after a meeting with someone who stayed behind to cleanup. After a couple of weeks it clicked and I was back on my road to recovery.

MIRecovery

Interesting question. I know that before I was really ready to quit forever AA meetings made me want to drink. In fact it was my primary complaint against AA. When I hit my bottom and decided that this drinking thing was never ever going to work then AA meetings made me not want to drink.

I actually have thought about your question a lot over the years and the only difference for me was my mind set.

Elisabeth888

It sounds like you need a solution meeting instead of a drunkalog.

mfanch

Our minds and bodies are abnormal. I felt and thought the same things.

Looking back, I now know that my ego wanted me to run screaming from AA and right to the drink. It saw that ego-deflation was a-comin' if I stayed in those rooms and it was NOT interested, thank you very much.

Don't worry, the destruction of self-centeredness and the shedding of our fear-driven egos are not all that bad. For me it was best to not think and just get to work on the steps. I'm so glad I did!

miamifella

I always felt the same at 12-step meetings.

I always thought that the emphasis on experience, strength and hope always made me feel like there was something wrong with me for struggling. Now I think that if people shared their struggles and failures, I would feel less alone in meetings and maybe could leave without feeling so lonely and hopeless.

But I know this a minority opinion.

breath

I've learned that I am responsible for what I do; so I know longer blame anything on anyone but myself. Blaming someone or something is what I call an excuse. That's just me.

Dee74

I've never been to AA but I expect it might make me feel a little uncomfortable and scared for a while...and, for years, when I got uncomfortable or scared, I wanted to drink...

D

miamifella

I think breath said it. You are responsible for your actions and if something makes you feel closer to drinking, you are the one responsible for changing the situation.

After years of relapsing after meetings (yes I am hardheaded), I finally had to say this is not helping and I have to find something that will.

Threshold

The format and manner of discussion here at SR truly makes me want to stay sober and grow in sobriety.

I often felt very stirred up in not useful ways during, after, or before F2F meetings. They save millions, but we all have what WE take to the table as well. My issues interacted with "the rooms" and I didn't behave appropriately.

This is one reason why SR is such a life saver for me, it IS my meeting.

Fallow

Ive felt that way before too. Like Dee said I got uncomfortable..scared..anxious. These days AA is a refreshment for me. Im used to it and have focused on making some friends in the rooms so that helps. I wanted more accountability and F2F makes me feel that way. Its not 4 everyone.

These days when Im anxious in AA its because I have the notion that if I keep on it is gonna work

And I was so used to destroying things as soon as they were looking up! Gotta change that.

nogard

Its not to do with the recovery path, its to do with us and our addiction and that voice, you know the one

HereIAm321

Gollum is my voice.....

Dee74

make sobriety your precioussssss

D

Joe Nerv

it might be the meetings you're going to. I've felt this at times, but but not enough thankfully to ever deter me from going.

One might say it's yer disease talking, trying hard to protect itself.

SeventySeven

Every meeting?! Wow! Must be rough. Sorry.

I don't go to AA is because all that focus on alcohol is too much. I prefer to remind mysel that I am not drinking. Period. And then go find something else to do that I enjoy. And when that doesn't work, I read about other people trying to kick this and, now, post.