yestofreedom

Thank you for reading this.
I was sober for a year. I felt so good; where every morning was full of hope and nothing could get me down.

then recently I went back to drinking; i felt bored or that I was missing out.
I feel like my whole world is falling apart now.

To cure a hangover, I drink more; and then before you know it, it is a week later of drinking every day.

I know that when I hit a low, I always seek for help, but when I feel better, I get into the trap that drinking again wont hurt me.

I need to remember all the pain drinking causes my life the moment before I buy the bottle.

Do you have any tips for walking away or making the choice not to take that first drink. It always seems harmless at the time.

Anna

I know it's not easy, but I had to fully accept that drinking was no longer an option, ever. When I did that, my mind started finding new and healthy ways to live and deal with life. If you feel you are missing out on something by not drinking, then it's likely that your addict voice will continue to 'speak' to you. You also mentioned boredom being a problem, so maybe you can find things to do that interest you and fulfill you.

I'm really glad that you're back and working on recovery.

yestofreedom

i think that friends who dont have these issues dont understand what no more drinking EVER is like. its either all or nothing with this one!
i have done it before, i can do it again.
thank you

Ghostlight

I understand what you're going through. I've been there.
It's a hard cycle to break. I turned into an every day drinker, too.
What helps me, is to think that first drink through to the end, and the misery and suffering it'll lead to.

There are programs of recovery, too.

Whatever path you take, best to you.

Sasha4

For me realising that that if I did not take the first drink, I could not get drunk was powerful.

It takes away any notion that just one will be okay.

I know it is never just one.

And also what would be the point of one? One wont do anything. One wont get me a buzz. One will just leave me wanting more.

And yes I understand that others don't understand.
Thats why I like coming here!

I wish you the best xx

Missy7

I share your problem--precisely. I drink to escape into a world that is easy. I never even try to drink only one. I always plan to drink two. Which never turns out to be fewer than eight.

And I drink the next day to fix the hangover too. Then it's three days. Then I suffer through a day. Then I'm sober three days.

Then I feel well enough for two drinks.

Rinse, repeat.

sugarbear1

Not drinking is not a solution to alcoholism. As long as we have untreated alcoholism, we will end up with a bottle in front of us as this is the solution to alcoholism.

We can go a long time without drinking, we can control what we drink, but eventually we will drink.

Alcoholism is about not being able to live without drinking. Finding a solution to living life without drinking is what we need to seek.

escapist

I have struggled with on /off sobriety since my 20's. I pick up again because I think I can control it. OK 30 years later of "controlling it" has shown that I can't. I will never be able to. Is that so bad? No, it is just a fact of about me.
What has been working for me is the memory of the inevitable outcome when I drink. I am not stubbornly refusing to accept the truth about me. I am an alcoholic. Drinking consumes my entire life to the point of destruction.
I cannot underestimate the value of support. I have never thought seeking support and opening myself to others was essential. I have learned otherwise from this place. I can honestly say that I would not have succeeded in quitting if I did not have the benefit of the people on SR.

escapist

Hi Sugarbear!

Ohio1

Such a perfect description.