RachelNorth

Please somebody say something nice. Not having a good day here, 9 months and one day sober and I don't know what the point is. things are so flat, my business is so quiet, I don't do anymore than when I was drinking. I miss my friends in the pub. I am sick of these addictions. they have ruled my life.

Went searching for my past just now. What a mistake, found my ex husband on line, (divorced 8 years ago), he is remarried with two small boys. Broke my heart. I saw the life that should be mine but I starting drinking two years into the marriage, it only lasted another two. I left him for someone else. That didn't work, nor did the next or the next. Things are rubbish. I am my own worst enemy. I had such big plans for being sober, and I'm bored and fed up.

I know what I have to do but I can't stop looking back and thinking what a mess I have made. I don't know where to go from here, I was drinking 6 years this last time and I can't remember my life before it. All I know is at 9 momths sober I should be doing better than this.

Thanks for listening.

yestofreedom

Hey

you will be fine!
i thought i was boring/bored! thought i was missing out!
so i started drinking again, and all
i have to show for it now are these terrible hangovers!

its better to be bored and have a clear mind of all of the troubles you face, then to face these trials with alcohol.Thats what i am learning.
thank you for posting this and sharing.

DarrenW

That is the thing about sobriety and life- By quitting drinking the only thing you are assured of is sobriety. Life, and all its trials and tribulations, continue. I wish that wasnt the case, and I assume that is why many folks go back out and start consuming.

I miss many of my old friends as well- They dont have much interest in hanging out with me now that I dont drink. The other thing about life is eventually, if you are patient, something good usually comes around. I hope you dont have to wait very long.

Good luck.

MidnightBlue

Rachel :ghug3

Sorry you feel so bad today, but we all have these days. Good news - they shall pass.

You have 9 months of sobriety! That's the spirit! Please, don't look back! We often tend to overestimate and romantiсize our past because the time wipes away the pain and keeps good memories. "No regrets, they don't work. They only hurt".

Turn off social networks and don't let your memories be greater than your future. Just let this time pass and keep a safe place in the eye of the storm. Pamper yourself with something you like, you deserve it.

Have a good sleep, do what you can, keep your faith and it will be better soon.

Take care and my best wishes to you)

Valll

It's probably just the New Year blues Rachel...I think we all tend to reflect and look back at this time of year. Maybe you haven't let go yet?

In one breath you say you know what you have to do, but in another that you don't know where to go. Have you tried counselling?

I am sure as yestofreedom said that you will be fine as you are questioning and searching...

So from one North Yorks lass to another :>) good luck and keep posting if need be.

SIPD

Hey Rachel....hang in there I am only sober a few days but already feel bored and fed up....have a great day

Happier

Sorry it is a tough day. I believe though that things can get better. We just have to persevere and make it through these tough times. That makes us stronger on the other side.
Things can be good again but it can be a rocky and tough climb. You are 9 months up that mountain though! Do not jump back to the bottom now. There is something deep down inside of me that knows I have to climb this mountain to survive. If I go backwards then I will one day have to climb right back to where I am today assuming that I am blessed with another opportunity.
You can do this. Often the thing separating a good day from a bad day is only one sober night.

WhoDey

Rachel, I'm at Day 4, and I find your 9 months of sobriety incredible. I can only hope that I can follow your example.

I'm divorced and one day after being divorced about 5-6 years, my ex called me out of the blue (we had no children and therefore no contact). It really caught me off guard. She had remarried and had a child ... but there I was sitting with no relationship and no children. Even though I was happy to be divorced, reconnecting with her was very disconcerting to me.

You've done a great job with your sobriety. Keep it up!

Snoopy101

First of all Rach I'm really jealous of your 9 months! well done!!! Only been sober for a few days and it's already better than the 'hazy world' I've been living in for the past 2 years! It's just the Jan blues talking. Do something nice for yourself no matter how small. It helps cheer me up when i get the blues....good luck

MIRecovery

I found the fellowship of AA to be very important in recovery. I like people and I have re-established a social life with sober friends. I found it was up to me to rebuild my life and when I took an active role things started to get better

mfanch

For me, life got really bad when I QUIT drinking. That's why I always went back and couldn't stay quit. Life was purposeless, without meaning. Flat and depressing. During those dry times, I longed to be a cat or a bird, or just a tree. I was bitter and depressed.

Drinking was a symptom of my main problem: living life. At least when I had a layer of alcohol in me I felt better and more human...able to deal with life.

I usually quit for 2-5 years at a time, only to return to drinking to ease the restlessness, irritability, and discontent I felt. I always went back to alcohol, though.

For me, not until I faced insanity and death did I decide to venture into another design for living my life. One that was more than about "just not drinking" and "managing cravings and inner voices". One that was about being completely relieved of the desire to drink AND be provided with a guide for living that really works. A solution that provides happiness and freedom. A purpose in life.

I had to be ready, though, and most of us aren't. There are over 111,000 members on this forum. I wonder how many are happy, sober, and free longterm??

I know one who is.

RachelNorth

Hi. Thank everyone, I am all tears today and I don't really know why. I know this is the blues and as Happier said, the good and bad can be seperated by one sober night. Tomorrow will be better. I have already made steps to change things just today. Phoned about a job and a different house. I am stuck in the middle of the countryside, its beautiful and I love it but I feel so isolated. My day used to consist of going to one of our many lovely country pubs to sit and feel assured I was ok by everyone elses drinking. If that makes sense. I need to start again, but this time for some reason it seems harder than every. I am 48 years old and so much has gone already. I know I am a moaning miserable so and so today, I will get better.

Thanks so much for listening. Going to take my dog out now, hope to feel better soon. Need to make the changes that I know are for the better.

Thanks again everyone.

tehmazzyland

Hope the walk and the fresh air helps - and doggy will sure love you for it!

The bad days will come... but once they're done with - the next good days are so much better.

keep the faith

Missy7

You should be so proud of yourself for your nine months! Hang in there. I failed just yesterday after only three days sober so you are clearly very strong. And BTW, failing was not a good idea.

Don't blame yourself for everything in your past. Relationships fail all the time and I'm sure you will find the way to something special. Hang in there!

sugarbear1

How do you know where you should be now? Maybe try to live in the moment, in the now. I know my feelings are like the weather and can change rapidly. I also know that I don't know what the next minute or next hour will bring.

You've made it to 9 months! What a miracle!! I remember not being able to get one day sober.

Stop looking at the past. It's time to look forward. You have 9 months and one day of sobriety, what are your future goals? What do you want out of life now? Yes, your life can continue to get brighter, if you work for it.

Getting sober is like being on a diet, we lose weight, then we get to a plateau, then we lose again and plateau again. 9 months is a plateau time...so try to go easy on yourself now. Keep smiling, it fools the body. Plan personal time for you--maybe a mani and pedi, or a bubble bath, some good dinner....plan something you enjoy and look forward to making it happen, then do it.

Hang tight, these blah feelings do change. Instead of saying this whole day isn't good, know that at any minute things can feel good!

Staying stopped does keep getting better, but you won't know if you don't keep moving in that direction.

With hugs & love,

escapist

There is a lot of GREAT advice here. I have been going to the gratitude threads. It helps me to think of what I am grateful for. Brightens my perspective on my life and reinforces my commitment to staying sober

TTBABP

I so agree with turning off social networks. I have found that certain "social media" has just made me feel bad about myself or like I'm missing something because I don't have such a great life as the others posting there every moment about every minute detail of their lives. I have had to turn it all off and worry about me and what makes me content - I cannot compare myself and my life to others.

The second part of Midnight's quote is even more tru for me. Looking back only keeps me from seeing where I am going. You only make progress when you look and work toward the future - not stew over what could have been.