Staying sober for someone else
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 96
I would have to agree with escapist. And I believe that Olympia also brings a good point in creating foods or crafts or anything really. I also believe that in order to care about your self you have to want to and by your being here and asking I think you truley do care about yourself but maybe you are not sure how to express it to yourself. Someone above in the postings suggested writting a quote on a index card. That is actually a tool used in a course I attended regarding self esteem. Repeat it over and over an some you slowly start believing it. Perhaps you have a journal, maybe start out each day with something like "I love myself today because I love my children". You can change it as frequently as you would like but I suggest each one stay for about a month or more. Depends how soon you start to believe. I can tell you that by staying sober your thoughts start to allow you to see yourself in a better way. I truly wish you peace and happiness.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by Anna 
You will come to that point where you believe you are worth it. You really will.
I was under pressure from my family initially, but it didn't take very long for me to see that I was a worthwhile person who deserved a good life. That has been the best gift of recovery for me.
I was under pressure from my family initially, but it didn't take very long for me to see that I was a worthwhile person who deserved a good life. That has been the best gift of recovery for me.
It's not enough for me anymore to just do it for someone else. I will take everyone's suggestions on board. I'm going to make this year worthwhile.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 346
We had an A4 piece of paper stuck to the fridge with an affirmation; "all you are right now, in this moment, is enough". I didn't put it there, but I still remind myself. It makes me remember what I'm doing, why I'm doing a, b or c and enables me to be a bit more mindful. You're enough, too-we all are 
Xx
Xx
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Midlifecrisis.
It's strictly IMHO, but I think that being sober for someone else can be a starting point to quit, but in the long run it can be kind of tricky. When we are sober for someone, it's like we are sharing responsibility with that person in a way, and if that person doesn't act the way we want, or dissapoints us, etc., it may be a trigger and there can be also temptation to make that person partly responsible if we relapse.
I also believe that we are often under unfluence of conventional thinking that "net of" family, good job, success and other things we are worseless. But that's not true. Would you say your close friend "You don't deserve to be sober, so go on drinking"? I don't think so.
Counselling is a good idea, my therapist helped me a lot.
My best wishes to you)
It's strictly IMHO, but I think that being sober for someone else can be a starting point to quit, but in the long run it can be kind of tricky. When we are sober for someone, it's like we are sharing responsibility with that person in a way, and if that person doesn't act the way we want, or dissapoints us, etc., it may be a trigger and there can be also temptation to make that person partly responsible if we relapse.
I also believe that we are often under unfluence of conventional thinking that "net of" family, good job, success and other things we are worseless. But that's not true. Would you say your close friend "You don't deserve to be sober, so go on drinking"? I don't think so.
Counselling is a good idea, my therapist helped me a lot.
My best wishes to you)
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Originally Posted by MidnightBlue
Hi, Midlifecrisis.
It's strictly IMHO, but I think that being sober for someone else can be a starting point to quit, but in the long run it can be kind of tricky. When we are sober for someone, it's like we are sharing responsibility with that person in a way, and if that person doesn't act the way we want, or dissapoints us, etc., it may be a trigger and there can be also temptation to make that person partly responsible if we relapse.
I also believe that we are often under unfluence of conventional thinking that "net of" family, good job, success and other things we are worseless. But that's not true. Would you say your close friend "You don't deserve to be sober, so go on drinking"? I don't think so.
Counselling is a good idea, my therapist helped me a lot.
My best wishes to you)
It's strictly IMHO, but I think that being sober for someone else can be a starting point to quit, but in the long run it can be kind of tricky. When we are sober for someone, it's like we are sharing responsibility with that person in a way, and if that person doesn't act the way we want, or dissapoints us, etc., it may be a trigger and there can be also temptation to make that person partly responsible if we relapse.
I also believe that we are often under unfluence of conventional thinking that "net of" family, good job, success and other things we are worseless. But that's not true. Would you say your close friend "You don't deserve to be sober, so go on drinking"? I don't think so.
Counselling is a good idea, my therapist helped me a lot.
My best wishes to you)
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