down and out
 

I've been reading a lot of posts on here from the newbies and while I can identify and relate with most feelings that are being shared about alcohol and drug use, what I am not identifying with is anyone's situation.

I've been drinking/using for 25 years and for a long while "maintained" that way. But now I am at the point of total devastation in my life. I have no job, the only people I know anymore are drinkers/users so I need to keep my distance from them, everyone in my family is mad at me and barely speaking to me, I'm a single mother of a 5 year old whose father is in prison, I now have legal issues from my drinking also, the list goes on and on.... It all gets very overwhelming at times.

I realize these are all consequences of my using but has anyone here been this down and out while trying to get and stay sober and work recovery and what worked for you in dealing with it?

Some people also think that just because they have what you do not that they will not be understood and accepted in recovery circles.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it doesn't matter what you have or not regarding your chances to live a better life, and how you'll be received and supportedby others in your effort to acheive that.

For me, I had to completely surrender to the fact that I couldn't drink. This included surrendering to alot of other problems as well. Saying "I can't do this alone" and then being honest with other people and asking my higher power for help. Simply saying help. This seemed to make things easier. Also being in the moment. Trying to say "what is happening now" and know that it is real, but that it will change.

Wow Sharwie
You just read my mind. I dont seem to feel down and out much. But for some reason I am today...I feel that too. Just hang in there. A lot of things good about life. Look at dogs or birds and make yourself smile. I love cardinals...I can call them to my yard. lol. Im down too today for whatever reason.
dub

Thanks so much for replying. I personally would never not accept someone wanting recovery because they hadn't lost enough. I applaud someone that can ask for help before it gets that bad because that's something I was never able to do.

I am really trying to stay hopeful that I will have the patience to continue to take this one day at a time and things will eventually get better for me.

I know I do need to work on asking for help when I need it; I just isolated myself so much in my addiction and I have just burned so many bridges at this point, I don't know whom to ask for things like a ride to find employment or to take care of my legal issues. These are the things that are overwhelming to me.

Look at some comedy. Works for me..I like Sam Kinison. he's a bit crazy though. He's pretty cool.
dub

I am firm believer in in-house rehab. My brother went through it and changed his life. He drank a great deal every single day, and used prescription drugs. He has no self control whatsoever. He too had legal problems. He has been sober/drug free for 6 years now. He moved out of state (very good thing), found a good job, and lives in a completely different setting (South Dakota). He loves it and is doing fantastic. And he didn't get sober until he was 53 years old. Have you considered rehab? I do think some people have to, as someone else said, surrender yourself to the fact that you can't drink (me included). Ever. Consider rehab if you can.

He's good.

For some reason Dennis Leary.saved my butt in early recovery more than once

Christie, I just did 30 day rehab it was a good experience, a very good building block for my recovery. I was looking forward to putting my life back together. I came home to discover that my apartment had been robbed of everything while I was gone and I mean everything. And then I let my 21 year old son use my car because his was in the shop and he wrecked it and I only had liability. So I don't have transportation at this time. Also I am living with my father because it was discovered that my downstairs neighbors were involved in the robbery of my apartment and it wasn't a safe place to stay. He lives in the middle of nowhere and it's hard for me to get anywhere. I

So I have had some things work against me since starting my recovery process but I am still trying to do it. I guess reality is just really hitting me today. I'm sorry I am rambling....just need to vent or talk it out or something.

Hey S
I get it. Take it easy. You can do this.
dub

Not sure what qualifies as down and out, but by the time I quit I was pretty low...I still had an apartment, but no job, all my friends were alcoholics, what little money I had (after rent utilities and the minimum of food) went on getting drunk or high.

I nearly died - I was drinking all day everyday...I fell constantly...in the end, I had several mini strokes and that gave me the impetus to turn things around - I don't think you can get much more desperate than that.

It took a lot of effort, a lot of changes, a lot of faith that I could do it & a lot of support...but I did it.

I believe you can do it too Sharwey.

Do you have any ideas about a plan? :)

D

My advice: try to take it easy, take small steps, take it one day, hour or moment at a time. I didn't devastate my life overnight, but making my recovery #1 has meant that in turn, I've been able to deal with issues given time; some fell into place when I asked for help, advice and let go of trying to control the outcome. Definitely put in all the footwork that I could. AA is a part of life and way of life for me now, that's what works for me :) Keep posting!

Xx

Thanks for the encouragement guys! Right now I am definitely taking my recovery one day at a time, using meditation and reading and trying to participate on this site. I do plan on going to meetings once my transportation issues are resolved because I think fellowship and service work will be very beneficial to me.

The only plan I have is to hopefully find a cheap vehicle, find some kind of employment that can support myself and my son and find us a safe place to live. I know things are not going to come together and happen immediately and everything will be wonderful but I need to try to keep working on these basic things to survive.

I had sent you a private message.

what are you willing to do to stay stopped and help yourself?

AVRT
SMART
Women for Recovery
Rational Recovery
Life Ring
Power to Quit

are alternatives to AA and are all online, as is AA

You are definitely NOT alone in your situation. I know of others who are in the same situation, as I am, although I don't have a 5 year old.


I wish you well on your sober journey!

I understand how all this can be very overwhelming. It can feel very lonely putting the pieces back together.

We have a "women's resource center" here in my community that helps women from all walks of life who have encountered all manner of hardship. They often offer free or pro-rated legal services, education, and are a sort of liaison for many social agencies. Do you have anything like this in your area?

Hang in. You can do this. People you don't even know are rooting for you.

I agree with others' advice, there are a lot of resources out there, both in person and offline. This forum is a terrific resource. Each day there are very small steps to take to redirecting your self, and let each small step sustain the next. Soon you will be amazed at the difference and the scope of change.

We all have human dignity, love and value. No amount of drinking or trouble can take that away. Hugs to you, and keep posting! You are doing great just reaching out for help from us!

sharwey, are you going to AA meetings?

No I am not currently going to AA, only because I am living in a rural area and my dad does not think meetings are important so he's not very willing to give me a ride to one. I do however plan on attending meetings once I get my transportation issue worked out because I think this is the best approach for me personally.

Welcome sharwey. I think it really helps to be here and share your feelings. You don't have to ever feel alone in this. We all understand how you're feeling - been there to one degree or another.

Glad you found us, and please keep posting. We care about you. :)

God bless you sister. I'm not in the same situation, but I know what it feels like in a general sense and you are not alone.