firestorm090

It boggles the mind how we continue to want to do something that makes us feel so sick the next day.

Last night was the first time in the past few months that really tempted me to have a few drinks. But then came the memories of all those days after.

Thinking through the lies made me see the phoniness of the buzz that follows the anticipation and consumption of the first drink.

The day after was always a day of wondering just how big of an idiot I was the night before. Sure, I know I hurt my family, friends and loved ones, but what about all those strangers I offended while trying to be cool and sophisticated? How many times did people wonder just who the hell I was, and where did I get off acting like I did. And how bout the doctors, counselors, and members of the recovery community whom I kept letting down time and time again. And all those lies told to impress and hide my real self from others because I was too ashamed to be myself and tell the truth about being a drunk. And how bout the actual physical sickness, hacking and coughing because I'd smoked too much, the bleary eyes staring back from the mirror, the horrible taste on my tongue, like I'd been licking a garbage can all night, yuck!! The headaches were the worst, like a marching band playing nonstop in my head, some guy pounding the drum every second, ouch.

Yes, the fond memories of having a few sure helped me see a new year sober and for that I'm grateful.

Congrats to all of you who are new and all who are starting fresh this year. Just remember what got you here, and maybe you don't have to do that anymore.

artsoul

Awesome post, firestorm - thanks!

Thepatman

That's a great post, the memory of what it was like sure helps our resolve when we feel "smart" and think we can just have a few.

Delilah1

Thanks for this post, every time I have felt tempted I have thought about how I would feel when I woke up the next day. Great reminder!!!