NOT being addicted
 

To ANYTHING. Possible?

Id love to hear experiences from people who have broken free from addiction altogether.

I spent a long time drug free but I had a raging eating disorder the whole time. That got replaced again by drugs. Got off them, replaced them with alcohol.

But not just the 'big issues' like that. Things like Internet, exercise, spending money, even coffee, I just don't seem to be able to moderate. I'm sick of it.

What's the go? Is is possible to learn moderation????

I'm not sure this is in the right section but couldn't decide where it belonged.

Have you ever been to a psychologist to discuss this?

I haven't been to a psych since I was 18 (now 34) and don't really intend to go back. I will see a counsellor again soon. I just want to get to the bottom of it.

I have issues moderating at times as well! Grrrr.....

That's me to a T. I'm lucky, I've seen that my addiction tells me I'll always have a tendency to latch on to everything from books on my Kindle to internet usage.

I've learned to check my motives at the door.

just wanted to say that the reason I liked what Xune said is that, for me, what you're saying is everything is in excess or causes you to feel poorly. I've read quite a few of your posts and kinda get the thing of "what do you tackle first?" I also kinda remember your homelife and the hubby so I do know it's not all that easy for you. A shrink might help cement what you could tackle first?
To me a shrink nearly is same thing as life coach. Possibly this could help as it's all very overwhelming?

((((hugs)))
edited to add: shrink/therapist/counselor = same thing as long as relationship is where you can feel comfortable to tell the truth and listen.

In that case, I wish you well in your journey of self discovery.

Sometimes, sitting down with someone who will listen and provide feedback that is meant to be in your best interest...can be helpful.

I'm very open to seeing a counsellor and must do something about it.

You're right. It's all messed up in my head as to what to deal with first. It's all one and the same
I think though. I'm sick of just dealing with and dwelling on the symptoms, I NEED to get to the bottom of why I'm like this. I have to.

Yeah my life is crazy busy. My hubby is awesome, I hope I haven't painted him in a bad light?

Thanks. The only psych around here (small town 400 people) is a close friend of ours so I'm not really comfortable. I didn't have the best experiences early on in life which has kind of turned me off but I have seen counselors that I really gelled with and have one in mind. Just need to make the step.

I'd love to hear from people who have broken free too Midlifecrisis...

I have always been excessive with most things. Some of them are easier to manage though. Alcohol I couldn't cope with at all, sex and coffee I have always found relatively easy to quit. I have loads of problems surrounding food, shopping and I think my SR usage may be excessive too.

I am not sure it isn't just a personality trait, and not always a bad one. I bet there's some stuff you're really good at because you were obsessive about them x

Just saw the bit you added. Definitely! Am going to go back to that counsellor. Have been saying that for awhile but I must do it. Thanks for he reminder! I find it really scary saying these words out loud irl. I find it easier to hide behind the computer screen. I need to though. Nothing changes if nothing changes right?

I don't consider I'm addicted to anything anymore - but I think I'm like a lot of people here...I can still get obsessed and fixated very easily.

That's me and I've learned to accept it.

Like Shockzulu I've learned to check my motives though...

if it enriches my life or adds to it, all well and good...

if it diminishes my life - if I'm running away or avoiding life, or doing something I feel is antithetical to who I want to be - it's not so good.

D

Hmmm. Yeah I don't know about the personality trait thing. From a young age I was always impatient and obsessed with things.

Hmm, good at? I'm good at exercise and drinking coffee lol.

How do you learn to check your motives?

I'm definitely still in running away mode. Most definitely so I think my motives are always wrong at this point.

The Internet for example. I was obsessed with posting on another forum for years. By far the too poster, like ridiculous 1200 posts a week as compared to a couple of hundred by the other top users. It takes away from my kids and my hubby and everything really.

That's good to know you don't feel you are addicted anymore.

I have learned through trial.& error. When I find myself doing something I ask some basic questions.

Why am I doing this?
What do I hope to gain?
Where does it improve/detract from my life?
Can I stop?

The more I worked my program, the easier it is for me to see the forrest for the trees.

Now let's see my post count go up when I hit reply. lol

Lol


So then. Once you recognise it, how do you stop it? That's the bit I struggle with.

My whole life I seem to have been painfully aware of why I do things but unable to not do them despite of this.

There've been times I was neglecting my real life for SR...I had good motives but I was being a little oblivious to Mrs Dee....

I learned to step back and get a little more balance in my life and a little firmer on my boundaries.

I didn't have much trouble doing that cos I love my wife - but if I had, I think support's important in that process, right after accepting that whatever it is really is a problem.

D

So I need to learn to step back. That's the hard bit.

Though I love them painfully, there's something about being emotionally close to people that freaks me out. So I hide. Then feel guilty. And so the cycle continues.

Must do something about that.

I definitely have an obsessive personality, lately I have channeled my obsession to eating healthy and exercise. I often find myself stressed at work and have been working hard to balance family, work, and time for me.

Balance is definitely key, I don't always manage it, but I am working on it! :)