Change4Better

I can't count the number of times I have surfed this site while drunk. Right now is one of them. Why do I drink? I don't have any crosses to bear, I have a great life and things are still looking up. I don't mean to be vulgar, but I drink for the same reasons people masturbate. It feels good. You may feel shame, etc afterward...but you still do it again. Thing is, I'm scared. I think, after tomorrow you have to go back to work, you'd better stop drinking now so you have a day to recover aka detox. I hate this feeling of misery. Sick to my stomach, knowing I am probably at least .18, thinking how am I going to stay up long enough to see the ball drop tonight.

Honestly not even sure why I am posting this. Need to vent, I guess. 2013 is hopefully a sober year for me. If it isn't, then I have to go to rehab. I'll lose my job, but at least it won't be my life. Sigh.

Xune

2013 won't magically become a sober year for you. If you want 2013 to become a sober year, then you'll have to make some changes and make it a sober year.

I also drank because I enjoyed it...immensely as a matter of fact. Trouble was, the alcohol was destroying me.

So I stopped drinking and you can too.

Regards;

Xune

TorontoGuy28

Do you want to stop drinking ?

I used this site as a crutch quiet often while still in the vicious and progressive cycle of alcoholism.

Get honest with yourself... Hitting a bottom really hard can be avoided, but you need to admit and accept powerlessness over addiction...

Change4Better

I think want is a strong word. I'm not sure I will ever want to stop. I need to. But want? No. I guess that's what addiction is all about. I want the benefits that will come with stopping, I think that's all I can stomach saying atm.

FamilyMan2153

No time like the present! Rehab is no magic pill either. I went, along with 13 other people. Only 3 of us are sober. I had to admit my disease, stop fighting with it and commit to do whatever it takes to not drink.

Jabbadabutt

I tried to stop drinking so many times. I failed every single time......until I wanted to stop drinking. The WANT becomes part of your identity. It becomes the fire in your heart that makes you want to love yourself.

Xune

I actually didn't have to stop, nope. I ( likely) had years of debilitating, soul destroying and life extinguishing drinking ahead of me.

Fortunately, I had a moment of clarity where I was able to see outside of my addiction and was able to make the decision to stop.

I wanted to stop before I hit rock bottom and am so grateful that I did.

Find supports that will get you to a place where you want to stop and in my opinion, staying stopped will be more likely.

I honestly don't think I could stay stopped if I didn't want to stay stopped.

Food for thought...

Boxguy

You can do it. Sober life's better than drunk life. I've only been sober two days but I can notice a different already. I still get the urge to drink but I just remind myself of the dark hole ill be falling in to if I do

Weasel1966

Allow me to make a slight distinction here.

Drinking does not make me feel good. It makes me feel nothing.

Masturbation makes me feel good.

To be on this site drunk and looking for support makes this distinction clear for you I hope.

I have been to 2.5 rehabs. None of the made me sober. I spent many years knowing I had a problem but did not see it until just this month that I could stop.

This can work all for you if you want it.

Stop drinking now so you can start tomorrow and 2013 with us sober.

Stay well!

Change4Better

You guys rock. I'm sitting here with ginger ale and beefaroni (yum? Lol) can't find my cell phone, hubby's at work, no landline, feeling very lonely but with you all I don't feel alone anymore. On New Year's Day of 2012 I had the scariest, worst hangover of my life and I was invited to the same party this year. I think I might stay home instead. I really want to make 2013's kickoff a vomit-free day. Again...sorry for the vulgarity, but we all know it happens.

artsoul

Just keep taking it moment by moment and stay close to this forum....:ghug3

I didn't want to stop drinking either. At first, it was terrifying just thinking about it. I spent a lot of evenings drinking and reading SR....it gave me enough hope to finally make a commitment to sobriety.

I think you have to get sober before you actually want to be sober, if that makes sense. That's the way it was for me, anyway. I make the commitment that I wouldn't drink, no matter how I felt. It was like the sane part of me was dragging the addicted part into recovery kicking and screaming. As the days got better, I got stronger and it wasn't as much of a struggle anymore. I was able to actually start enjoying my life.

We know how hard it is, so hang in there and stay in the moment as much as possible (instead of in your head) - it helps!:ghug3

Delilah1

Hi Change,

Glad you switched to Ginger Ale!!! I agree with everyone else about the wanting to stop. I never hit that proverbial rock bottom, but knew that it could happen if I continued with the daily drinking.

Start 2013 sober and come up with a plan to help you stay sober!!

Sending hugs :ghug3 , and stick with the Ginger Ale!!!