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65 days sober with a new sponsor... I can't dump my old one!

Old 12-31-2012, 01:50 AM
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65 days sober with a new sponsor... I can't dump my old one!

I'm so grateful today for my sobriety today. Happily I can say that I go to meetings at least once a day, I have a homegroup, sponsor, service commitment and I'm beginning my step work. However, I can't bring myself to pick up the phone and dump my old sponsor. I feel so guilty, and those who I've spoken to say it's not a big deal. I'm terrified, and it's made me recognize that it mirrors the way I handled relationships when I was drinking/using. I simply stopped talking to the person or isolated and avoided them literally for months.

Any insight/guidance would be so greatly appreciated!
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:55 AM
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you nailed it in the last sentence, xx. those are some of your old behaviors....you are trying on new ones & it's working really well. this is another new one - rigourous honesty.

if your old sponsor is secure in their program they will be happy for you that you've found someone you're clicking with and wish you well. if not, well that gives them something to work on & grow in their own program.
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:56 AM
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ah-ha! Thanks coraltint.
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Old 12-31-2012, 02:01 AM
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Why not let the person know you've appreciated his/her help and let them know you'll be seeing them around and would like to be able to call them on occasion should something come up?

They've had the opportunity to work with a new person. At any point in time it's evened out between you and whoever is giving you their help and you owe them nothing more.
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Old 12-31-2012, 05:34 AM
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Being a sponsor is a lot of work. It is rewarding work and necessary work but it is still work. Being dumped is not the way to look at it. A good sponsor wants nothing but the best for you. I would not be the least bit offended if a sponsee found someone that was a better fit.

Essientially you are worrying about a problem that only exists in your own mind so just tell him/her you appreciate everything but have found someone else.
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Old 12-31-2012, 05:37 AM
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They probably know they are no longer your sponsor. Your talking with them will give you and them closure, and it is a nice gesture and you are addressing your issues.

I understand not wanting to have to tell them. But you have to bite the bullet and do it. It will be okay.
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