Where do I even start...
 

This is how I am feeling right now. this is something that I have been struggling with enternally for several months now, though it has probably been a problem for much longer than that. I do not have a problem with drugs, I dont use any... but the alcohol for me is the devil. I never thought it was a problem because I typically do not drink Monday thru Friday... so I always told myself that if I'm not drinking every day of the week then it cant be a problem!!! well I am realizing this may not be true... because I am drinking every weekend to the point of blacking out and not remembering the night. I don't know how to have just one or two drinks.. I have never known how to. I just drink and drink and drink.. there is no end. I am so sick of blacking out and not remembering any of the night.. and worrying if I did something stupid or embarrassed my friends or husband. I am sick of feeling sick all day the next day (which is me today.. I have done nothing but lay in bed and beat myself up over it all!).... I feel like I want to and need to take the steps to living a sober life.. but I dont even know where to begin. every time we socialize with friends and even family it is all surrounded around drinks.. my husband is a marketing director at a bar and we ALWAYS go there to watch sporting events and whatnot. How can I get sober while my husband still drinks? these are just some of the things running thru my mind right now. Found this forum while researching different topics on alcoholism online..

Welcome to SR! There are lots of great people on this site, along with tonnes of great information on different ways you can use to stay sober.

I also never did drugs...in fact, I've never even smoked marijuana! Yet alcohol was something that I abused daily and would have eventually taken absolutely everything I loved...including my life!

I stopped and have stayed stopped. You can too!

I found being honest with my wife and Doctor about my alcohol abuse to have been incredibly helpful!

Hi and Welcome,

I had blackouts in the last months of my drinking too, and there is nothing more scary. Those are times that are forever lost to me and I will never know what I did. I'm glad you recognize that it's time to stop drinking.

Of course, it might be more difficult if your husband drinks, but you can stop drinking. This is something you must do for yourself, whether or not your husband is drinking. As far as going to the bar, I would definitely not advise that. I know for sure, it wouldn't have worked for me. I know it's tough to look at things like this, but early recovery is a time for lots of hard choices. I hope you decide to recover. :)

thank you for the responses. I feel like the hardest thing about this will be changing where i go to hang out and who i go with. I am terrified it will affect my marriage in a negative way, is that crazy? I know I need to get sober for me and me only, but drinking is something my husband and I often do together.. did anyone else struggle with this part of it at first?

You aren't alone. My husband and I were drinking buddies and I have recently decided to quit. He can drink if he likes but I've decided I have to do what is right for ME. I hope you can make the right decision for yourself too.

I would bet that the changes in you will affect your marriage. That was definitely the case with me. Recovery is about so much more than not drinking, I think it has to affect you deeply in every part of your life. I learned a lot about myself and it changed the way I lived my life. My husband didn't drink so that was not an issue, but we'd been married a long time, and there were shifts that took place in the relationship.

did your guys marriages survive though? do you think it made you guys stronger?

has it had any negative effects on your marriage? or maybe it has brought you closer?

Neither so far...but he and I have been together nearly 10 years and have a very open line of communication.

op you should read Allen Carr's ''how to control alcohol'' it's addresses at lot if the issues you have. Specifically how to live a normal life without drinking.

thank you David.. it is downloading on my Nook as i type this.

Drinking was actually a large part as to why my marriage was in disarray. However, while active in my addiction, I was oblivious to the fact that my drinking was not only harming my marriage, but every other aspect of my life.

It only took a few weeks sober for me to see how sick I truly was.

Fast forward six months, the reparation of the damage done to my marriage continues and I am very hopeful that my marriage will survive...so long as I remain sober and continue flourishing.

Everything is better sober and I will never drink alcohol again.