phoebe64

I got very sad news today. A friend from our elementary school passed away on Christmas day, after a years long fight with breast cancer. Our daughters were together for all their years there and in girl scouts, soccer, basketball. We enjoyed each other's company when we saw one-another and shared a hobby.

I feel regret at not being a better friend to her. I suspect she was a bit lonely, and suffered depression over her illness. I wallowed in my own depression, and drinking issues, and caregiver issues. I often thought about reaching out to her, but was weak, and afraid. I must not second guess reaching out for friendships anymore. I need to get out of my shell and connect more to others. I will miss her. I wish I reached out to her while she was still here.

So the news has me feeling stronger in my resolve to live my life better. Not merely sober, but to try to be a better person. It is sad that it often takes such news and loss to make us wake up and see we take so much for granted. I need to care for my body, because we never know what can happen. we only stand a better chance with a strong and healthy body, not one ravaged by alcohol and other chemicals.

May she be at peace and may her family heal and have comfort in knowing she was a wonderful, warm and peaceful person.

May I grow from this and care better for myself rather than take take for granted the gifts of my great life.

Delilah1

Rochele, I am so sorry for your loss.

Bethany57

So sorry for your loss. I think you have a lot of wisdom in that post of yours. Be a better friend....something I need to strive and do. I am not the most outgoing person and always feel like I am going to be bothering someone by reaching out..it is important to reach out. May your friend rest in peace....and you know what...you will grow from this and be a better friend...your friend would be proud.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss too - I had a similar experience, actually 2 now...

I looked at myself and thought 'yeah I can do better' so I'm trying...
I think in a small way that's making something good out of something tragic I guess.

D

Hevyn

I'm sorry you're hurting, rochele. I've had similar things happen, but chose to use them as an excuse to keep drinking. I'm so glad you're doing just the opposite - you've obviously already grown from this.

phoebe64

I feel sad because we were so friendly when we saw one another and shared an interest in a hobby. But we were friends only through these places and events where we came together with the children.

I am so shy and reserved at times. She may have no idea how often I thought of her and wished her well, prayed for her. I truly did care for her and I bet she never knew. I regret that. Our girls moved to the Junior high this year, so we simply did not bump into one another. If I saw her, I would choose her company, and enjoy talking with her. She was so warm and kind. She had a light about her.

I have another friend who is feeling the same way. She is a breast cancer survivor. She was afraid to be too close, it was too raw for her, after her fight. we are both so filled with regret that we did not reach out for deeper friendship and make her last years here more comfortable and happy.

I am disappointed in myself. I grieve for her family, not myself.

I appreciate the responses and kind words.

Hevyn

You must be a very good and kind person to be feeling this way, rochele. Please don't be hard on yourself.