Alcoholic boyfriend
 

Well.. Here goes... We met. Asked me to be his girlfriend. . Told me he really was a good guy then I find out he gave me herpes. No apology. Simply said he wasn't going to deal with it. I ended up devastated taking partial blame. And decided to try and make a go if it. Feeling as I was damaged goods. After reading many posts... He is your typical self centered selfish alcoholic. Im looking for strength and support. I don't know why I stay with him. Fear I guess... :(

Welcome to SR...check out the family and friends area. Lots of support for the love ones over there. You have come to the right place. :)

Welcome My Friend,

Echo What Furnaceman Said.

Good Luck

Glad you have joined us, Effective. You are not alone with this.

Unfortunately...he has no shame. Takes pride in being an ass. Urinates in my bed. Eats my food. Contributes very little. I lost it this past weekend. Told him im no doormat. However made the best if the holidays. For family sake. I've read books... To try and justify and learn about the effects to him and all he encounters. I can't tell truth from lies. Loves me... I think not. Has threatened that I am his.. If I try to leave him it will be bad.

Hi effected - welcome.

I'm sorry for your situation but I know you'll find a lot of support here.

Doesn't seem like theres a lot for you in this relationship tho?

by 'fear' do you mean fear of what he might do to himself or to you, or just the fear of the unknown if you were to leave?

D

Thank you... It means so much... Fear of him.. Somewhat. Mostly my own... He has destroyed me. Broken me... And to trust and hope for anyone to accept me is paralyzing

I can understand that.

I hope you'll look at our Family and Friends forum - there's posts at the top of the forum about abuse (which needn't be physical) and a lot of resources to help.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html

D

Hey effected,

Your boyfriend sounds a bit like I was with my ex-fiance. I didn't urinate in her bed but I ruined her life. Sometimes drastic measures have to be made no matter how painful they are at the time. I wish you the best of luck.

Natom.

Can you call a women's shelter and ask for help? He sounds dangerous to me. Can you get a restraining order to keep him away from you? He doesn't sound like a nice person, to understate it...

I think I really don't matter all that much. He's an hour away. And I've been the enabler. His needs are met with a 30 pack. Im certain he can take me or leave me. I doubt he would cause me anymore harm. Has caused enough though. I just don't know how to fix my broken self.

I am very sorry to hear all of this. I normally don't give people romantic advice, but in this case, I think that you should leave this relationship and seek out some counseling help to get back on your feet, confidence wise.

I have sought counseling. The therapist doesn't think I'm strong enough to break away emotionally and mean it. so meanwhile... I look for strength in every direction.

What the. why do you even consider staying with him?
I guess Im confused,
dub

My dogs and you..
 

My dogs have done more for me, and continue to, than anyone I ever met. That is cool. I'll leave it at that. I do love my friends here a lot. God bless my buddies, all of you buddies.
dub

If you do not have children with him, then leave.
Do not consider having children with him either.

At the moment, from what you written, you can walk away. You have no ties to him.no obligations.

What sort of a catch is he?
He treats you like dirt, eats your food and wee's in your bed.
He is like an overgrown child.

You deserve someone who is financially secure, can treat you well, look after you, take you out and treat you well.

If you had a daughter and she was in a relationship with someone like this how would you feel?
Sad for what she is letting herself in for?
Angry that another human being can treat your daughter like this?
Cross because you wanted more for her?

Please leave him.

Perhaps there had never been the right moment to day i'm done. He's had two deaths to deal with... And of course it sounds like I'm making excuses.last weekend.. I clearly lost it with him. Surprising lythis weekend was better. Do alcoholics have guilt ? know right from wrong? He said once.. I would end up hating him. I have compassion an empathy... I love him. And pity him even more so....

Logically I know he is poison. I know he should not be in my life. Believe me... I'm just as messed up got allowing his behavior. I'm trying to set boundaries.. In hopes that will help. basically... There is no hope in staying with an active alcoholic ? Those who stay... Tell me how to cope. I'm not ready to throw him away...

Yes, we do have those feelings. We will continue to drink and use to hide them as well.

Until we choose to find recovery. For ourselves, not anyone else.