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Please help!!! I really need help now!!!!!!

Old 12-31-2012, 01:53 PM
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Hi Zee!
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Old 01-01-2013, 01:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Itchy View Post
Bob I felt much like you did and being here on SR was a lifesaver. I had PAWS for six months but the anxiety attacks only happened in the first few weeks whenever I got scared and had thoughts of drinking again just to end the misery and then grabbed hold of my mental self and said NO! and then my mental self would up the ante and cause anxiety.

I did not die from the anxiety attacks and had no Ativan or anything else not because I was afraid of taking them, but because I wanted to know when it was all over. But had I continued drinking I believe with all my soul I would have died last year. (I have been sober more than two years) I was at the point of not getting high and drinking about twice what you were, more than 30 units a day! (which for those uninformed a unit is one shot of hard liquor, one 12 oz beer, or one six ounce glass of wine)

I never gave in. See I was also under a docs care, and in the hospital for seven days of detox with them administering stuff like your Ativan to me, Librium I think and others. I had blood tests every month for three months by order of my GP. And even so I was anxious about three times like you describe and scared without the acute attacks a lot of the time for the first month. I think my fear of having another anxiety attack brought on the other two or three I had. That sounds weird to all but those who have been there.

I never had anxiety attacks before that I can recall. So it was definitely withdrawal over reactions to my fear.

Coming here was the best thing you could have done as it was for me. If you click on my name and then click on view more posts by me you can read some of my very first sober ones here. I was also going to AA meetings. Face to face was also a lifesaver for my first three months then I was OK and dropped all the AA meetings, counseling, and just come to SR to do a little payback.

The reason I am taking all this time is because I came here and was researching online to try to see if I was normal or was about to die from my withdrawals. I was also frustrated with the rule about medical advice here and that most would avoid even answering what I did above. The important thing is you have seen a doc and have him to call who already knows what you are going through and why. I kept asking like you too!

The most important thing is that to continue drinking will kill you and that lasts forever. PAWS does not last as long for most as it did with me. So my medical advice is to continue seeing the Doc regardless, and that most of what you describe seems in line with my experience too.

I am so glad you posted because I have read most saying they had a few days of detox and bounced back fine that I thought I was the oddball in the group. Others had serious issues a week or two after but none of the PAWS I did. Now more folks can get a grip on what Dee said so well, and what I am saying to add to it. See the Doc at the drop of a hat, but by the same token if the same symptom that you had before the Doc said you were OK comes again then do what he said to do and you should be fine unless something changes.

Welcome to the detox club. In a year you can belong to the one year and over club here. Know how I made it? Despite being as freaked out during it as you? Because no matter what, I was not going to drink again and have to start all of that all over again from scratch, not even once. And being the lazy SOB I am, I wasn't going to waste all the effort and pain I already put into my first weeks of sobriety. No regrets. Sobriety can be scary when we can suddenly feel our minds and bodies again.

One last thing if I haven't put you to sleep already. Two people come up to make a speech in front of 1000 people. One loves the rush and shakes with excitement because it gives him energy to really come across and think fast. He loves that people will see him vibrating with excitement. The other interprets the adrenaline rush as fear and the shakes as embarrassing and hopes no one notices he is shaking in fear which causes him to shake more.

The same stimulus for both, public speaking in front of a large crowd. Same fight or flight response for both. But each interpreted the response differently.

I bet this is your first real detox like mine was for me. I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THAT EVER AGAIN!

I think some folks who have gotten into the relapse mode stay only until they feel better a bit then start drinking again and have learned how to detox better.

Thanks for posting for others, and remember that you can click on your name and read all your posts here later and have a journal of your first years sober. They don't even have to be in threads you started, you can just see your posts, or mine, or anybody's here that way.
Itchy I can't thank you enough for your reply!! I read it yesterday but was feeling good and didn't want to write at the moment because of fear that it may trigger an episode if that makes sense. Your post helped me very much and I thank you and everyone one here! I appreciate it beyond believe!!!

3:56 am and I have slept the best since this has happened.

Thank you and everyone!!! Still don't want to drink!!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 02:00 AM
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Originally Posted by whiskeyman View Post
I felt odd for along time. Months in fact, but I can tell you that it will go away. Everyone in their own time.
D you wanna go to a meeting and talk about it. Almost everyone has been they similar. It'll help
Thank you Whiskeyman!!! I will be going to a meeting for sure, no doubt when I feel up to it!
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Old 01-01-2013, 02:07 AM
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Update: Made it through the night with no problems. Felt better starting late yesterday afternoon then I have since this started. No panic attacks. Was able to sleep till now and hope to go back to sleep.

Feeling slight adrenalin on arms and back of neck due to my sun coming home at 3 am after being out for New Years. he's 22 so old enough, it was his banging in the kitchen that got me upset, mad in fact. Have not felt that emotion since this all happened. It is new to me so I guess my body still has to adjust the adrenalin output or I have to learn again what it feels like because it is starting to make me feel an attack come on. But I am dealing with it way better then before.

I have learned while dealing with this that emotions trigger panic attacks while going through this withdrawal. Whether it is love or anger it doesn't matter.

I should stop now to handle this but I feel good.

Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 03:38 AM
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Hi Bob, I just wanted to add my support for your efforts, you're doing great and seem very determined - please stick with it.
My withdrawals were fairly minor but even so, the worst single day for me was Day 3, and at about 3 weeks I experienced real brain fog with headaches (which I never used to get when I was drinking!).
It helps to drink LOTS of water or orange juice, really lots, even if you dont feel like eating.
Best of luck. Remember, with sobriety comes freedom.
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Old 01-01-2013, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Eventide View Post
Hi Bob, I just wanted to add my support for your efforts, you're doing great and seem very determined - please stick with it.
My withdrawals were fairly minor but even so, the worst single day for me was Day 3, and at about 3 weeks I experienced real brain fog with headaches (which I never used to get when I was drinking!).
It helps to drink LOTS of water or orange juice, really lots, even if you dont feel like eating.
Best of luck. Remember, with sobriety comes freedom.
Thank you Eventide, just woke up again and feel like I am really groggy. I have been having headache but not really bad. I am just SO Happy I am not having any Anxiety or Panic Attacks. I feel like I am getting through this.

Thank you again!
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Old 01-01-2013, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Bob22 View Post
Update: Made it through the night with no problems. Felt better starting late yesterday afternoon then I have since this started. No panic attacks. Was able to sleep till now and hope to go back to sleep.
I'm so glad you are still here.

What a great time to get sober, around a New Year!

Just remember the physical and psychological symptoms of withdrawal are temporary, and that first week or two are often the most critical times. The acute cravings will end if you can get past these first few days.

Did the doctor give you a schedule for tapering off the Ativan? Usually for alcohol withdrawal it's 5-7 days with a decreasing frequency of dosage, ie (depending on what dosage he prescribed) something like every every 4 hours for a day, then every 6 hours for 2 days, then every 8 hours for a day, then every 12 hours, then a last dose. The meds are a huge help and can be lifesaving, but we definitely don't want to become dependent upon them instead! And very important to stop taking them if you do slip and drink (which is the last thing you want to do, but in which case don't give up!).

It will take some time, but your brain and body WILL readjust to not having the alcohol. For me, I felt a LOT better from the acute withdrawal by 10 days, then still better each subsequent week, almost normal by 3 months, and just wonderful by 6 months. Some people feel better quicker too.

Drinking a lot of water helps, and taking a multivitamin, because daily drinking deprives your body of nutrients. A balanced diet and enough sleep will help in early recovery. I took a probiotic supplement too bec daily drinking messes up the digestive system.

When you feel better or your doctor says you are ready, some light exercise will help, walking, then maybe a 5 minute jog, then 10 minutes, etc. Don't push yourself too much, but once sober, exercise is an amazing natural high!

And of course keeping in contact with others who have been through the same thing helps a lot, like on here or in person. Keep up the good work!
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Old 01-01-2013, 06:47 AM
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God what is with the morning hours!!!! Feeling all of this coming on again!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 06:52 AM
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Originally Posted by nycguy83 View Post
I'm so glad you are still here.

What a great time to get sober, around a New Year!

Just remember the physical and psychological symptoms of withdrawal are temporary, and that first week or two are often the most critical times. The acute cravings will end if you can get past these first few days.

Did the doctor give you a schedule for tapering off the Ativan? Usually for alcohol withdrawal it's 5-7 days with a decreasing frequency of dosage, ie (depending on what dosage he prescribed) something like every every 4 hours for a day, then every 6 hours for 2 days, then every 8 hours for a day, then every 12 hours, then a last dose. The meds are a huge help and can be lifesaving, but we definitely don't want to become dependent upon them instead! And very important to stop taking them if you do slip and drink (which is the last thing you want to do, but in which case don't give up!).

It will take some time, but your brain and body WILL readjust to not having the alcohol. For me, I felt a LOT better from the acute withdrawal by 10 days, then still better each subsequent week, almost normal by 3 months, and just wonderful by 6 months. Some people feel better quicker too.

Drinking a lot of water helps, and taking a multivitamin, because daily drinking deprives your body of nutrients. A balanced diet and enough sleep will help in early recovery. I took a probiotic supplement too bec daily drinking messes up the digestive system.

When you feel better or your doctor says you are ready, some light exercise will help, walking, then maybe a 5 minute jog, then 10 minutes, etc. Don't push yourself too much, but once sober, exercise is an amazing natural high!

And of course keeping in contact with others who have been through the same thing helps a lot, like on here or in person. Keep up the good work!
Thank you NYCGUY, This whole thing has nothing to do with cravings, more anxiety and panic. Maybe this is from the meds.

I only took one Ativan, to scared to get addicted or make any of this worse.

Thank you for your support!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 07:45 AM
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Just took a shower and feel better. Was feeling REALLY bad a couple minutes ago.

Blood pressure was 165 over 103 normal for me is 140 over 90. Heart rate 100 Not sure what it is now but I know it is lower.

Also just want to point out prior to this, I never had panic attacks or anxiety, and the only reason I have a Blood Pressure monitor is because I was going to start working out a year ago and start taking care of myself LOL! I also like gadgets and buy crap I don't need. This thing hooks up to your ipad or iphone and works great.

Must be feeling better if I can right this.

Heading out to Walgreen to get a heat-pad for my shoulder, have been sleeping on it wrong and it is killing me. Doesn't help when I am trying to deal with all this other crap. I am so afraid to take Advil or anything for the pain as I keep thinking it may make all this worse.

Thank you all!
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Old 01-01-2013, 08:43 AM
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So many things going through my brain. Feel better after going for a walk.

Worried now that my relationship with my family won't be the same. I really don't feel the same with them anymore. This is horrible!!! I still love them more than anything but don't want to do anything with them!

I will never drink again in fear that one day I would have to go through this again!!!!!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 08:45 AM
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Is there any place in Naperville Illinois with some type of meetings? Don't think I can be around a lot of people right now for a meeting but hopefully will soon!
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Old 01-01-2013, 08:52 AM
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District 43 Alcoholics Anonymous

Tuesday Meetings: District 43 Meetings

call and ask if a meeting still exists, or call and talk

With love & hugs,
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Old 01-01-2013, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
District 43 Alcoholics Anonymous

Tuesday Meetings: District 43 Meetings

call and ask if a meeting still exists, or call and talk

With love & hugs,
Thank you Sugarbear1!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 08:57 AM
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Stay strong, Bob, you are worth it!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 09:48 AM
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Sorry to keep doing this but it is the only way I feel I can make it through this.

I am finding that I do not handle any type of stress. Before this all happened I could handle any type of stress. Is this all part of the process and I will be able to handle stress in the same way again.
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Old 01-01-2013, 11:37 AM
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Have been feeling really good the past couple hours. Watched a little football, read a little from a book, and threw darts for about 5 minutes.

Hoping this is a sign that things are getting better. Going out now to get some gloves for the walks I have been taking.

One thing to note: I noticed that when I did good at throwing the darts, I felt the adrenalin, and it stated making me a little uneasy. Never been that way before. Just crazy!!!!

I am just writing this down in the hopes that it may help someone else and also help me never drink again!

Thank you all!
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Old 01-01-2013, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob22 View Post
Have been feeling really good the past couple hours. Watched a little football, read a little from a book, and threw darts for about 5 minutes.

Hoping this is a sign that things are getting better. Going out now to get some gloves for the walks I have been taking.

One thing to note: I noticed that when I did good at throwing the darts, I felt the adrenalin, and it stated making me a little uneasy. Never been that way before. Just crazy!!!!

I am just writing this down in the hopes that it may help someone else and also help me never drink again!

Thank you all!

WHOA BOB!

First take a deep breath----or a couple!
You will come out of this!

I remember taking all kinds of medicine for a sinus infection I had, and I was not even drinking then. I had heart palps, anxiety, sleep wasn't happening because these drugs are not meant to be taken ALL at one time. I was bouncing off walls! Your lucky your not comatose. Remember Keith Ledger the actor---he had mixed so many seemingly harmless drugs and the combination depressed his respiratory system so much he died!

You have been smart enough to go to the doctor--his medication is the ONLY one you should be taking--according to his directions, not according to what feels right for you--I mean you just got through throwing 10 meds into you body at once! Do you really think you are a good judge of when and what to take.

Have your wife take all the other meds and put them away from you. Tomorrow , first thing go back to your doctor and tell him what you have told us--even show him your posts. I would assume you have already told him you began detoxing from alcohol, if not , you must.

I am not giving medical advice only a suggestion on an orderly mental and physical release from you past COLD MEDICINE BINGE, LOL!

Your doctor will have all the answers you need -----so just TRY to calm down
Oh and eat some bland food like crackers, toast, and maybe some tea with honey. That always helped me---but that is just My opinion only!

OMG, I feel anxiety just from reading your posts!! If you feel worse at any time before you see the doctor get to the emergency room, whatever they think is just not important, K?

Please keep us posted!
Here is to feeling better (guess you can't feel any worse, right?)

Trix
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Old 01-01-2013, 12:36 PM
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Update: I feel like I am going to make it through this. I just got back from buying gloves for walking and felt good in the store. actually wanted to look around where before I had no interest in anything and only fear; Real Fear, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks.

I know I am not out of the woods yet as night time can be rough and from what I have been experiencing, waking up starts it all over again. but less and less everyday.

I will always be apart of this forum for people who go through what I am going through. I would never want someone to have to face this alone!!!

Thank you to all you wonderful people and I hope you are all enjoying your New Year!!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by TrixMixer View Post
WHOA BOB!

First take a deep breath----or a couple!
You will come out of this!

I remember taking all kinds of medicine for a sinus infection I had, and I was not even drinking then. I had heart palps, anxiety, sleep wasn't happening because these drugs are not meant to be taken ALL at one time. I was bouncing off walls! Your lucky your not comatose. Remember Keith Ledger the actor---he had mixed so many seemingly harmless drugs and the combination depressed his respiratory system so much he died!

You have been smart enough to go to the doctor--his medication is the ONLY one you should be taking--according to his directions, not according to what feels right for you--I mean you just got through throwing 10 meds into you body at once! Do you really think you are a good judge of when and what to take.

Have your wife take all the other meds and put them away from you. Tomorrow , first thing go back to your doctor and tell him what you have told us--even show him your posts. I would assume you have already told him you began detoxing from alcohol, if not , you must.

I am not giving medical advice only a suggestion on an orderly mental and physical release from you past COLD MEDICINE BINGE, LOL!

Your doctor will have all the answers you need -----so just TRY to calm down
Oh and eat some bland food like crackers, toast, and maybe some tea with honey. That always helped me---but that is just My opinion only!

OMG, I feel anxiety just from reading your posts!! If you feel worse at any time before you see the doctor get to the emergency room, whatever they think is just not important, K?

Please keep us posted!
Here is to feeling better (guess you can't feel any worse, right?)

Trix
Trix, just saw your post. Must have been writing at the same time when I last posted.

Thank you very much for your reply. I have been back and forth with this in my mind on whether it was the meds, Alcohol withdrawal, or both. And I really think it is both.

I have been feeling much better since Saturday and feel pretty good right now. I just cant have any stress around me right now.

I am going to see the doc again tomorrow.

Thank you again Trix, it really means the world!!!
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