Time2Focus

Thank you everyone for all your comments and words of encouragement. I just got done sitting down with my wife and telling her that I was going to a meeting tonight and that my problem has gone from bad to worse. I admitted to her that after we got into some silly fight last night, I left the house and drank for hours. She said she loved me and wanted to support me however she can.

I apologize if I got defensive this morning. I was hurting inside with this internal struggle and having a fight with my wife last night did not help me wake up in a better mood. Thank you all again, I need this.

AnotherPaul

Time2Focus, congratulations on that huge first step! You're lucky to have such a loving and supportive wife to help you through this.

Hevyn

Glad to hear the good news. You can rise above all the troubles and have a great life. I hope you find the meeting helpful.

SavingSelf

Good for you. Those discussions are never easy. In fact, none of this is. But sobriety can be done....and you and your family will be better for it.

Please stick around and continue to post.

wpainterw

Time2Focus: Getting well won't be easy. At least it wasn't for me and for lots of folks who have posted on this SR. But many of them have been able to do it and it's been a wonderful thing indeed. Good luck on your journey!

W.

artsoul

It's not easy to admit to ourselves, much less anyone else, that we need help. I remember feeling a lot of shame that I couldn't get a handle on my drinking (plus I really, really wanted to continue, just in a different way).

I think once we realize we're not so different from all the other (often smart and caring) people who found themselves in the same predicament, it hurts a little less. We're here for ya - you can do this!:ghug3

Fandy

You need to really not put them at risk.

Time2Focus

That comment really isn't necessary. I realize that. That is why I am getting help.

Fandy

your wife and child are with you, realize how much you have drank and you still climb behind the wheel?
The comment makes you feel uncomfortable? I hope so.
Congrats on the decision to stop drinking. I wish you the best.

CharlieNoogan

I could write volumes here regarding my negative experiences while drinking and driving. But instead I will bullet point the highlights here:

1. Got lost in a metropolitan city on New Years Eve and drove car into a rail yard area looking for a place to turn around. While backing up vehicle, drove over a track switch device that was basically a cubic foot steel box, car hangs up on said steel box with drive wheels in the air. Had to abandon car within 4 feet of an active rail line and come back in the morning with a flatbed. Police conveniently on scene as I arrive. No charges.

2. Fell asleep at the wheel 3 blocks from my house. Foot mashed accelerator. But not for the light post that my car wrapped around, car would have driven over an embankment and potentially into a river. Car totalled. Was able to drive the remaining 2 blocks home with a missing rear wheel and miraculously no real injuries. No police/charges this time either.

3. Encounter police roadblock of right 3 lanes of a 4 lane highway at night. Attempt to merge from far right lane and have fender bender with woman who slams on breaks; right next to a parked patrol vehicle with lights flashing. Hit head during fender bender and come to while still driving, not knowing what happened. See many, many lights in rear view mirror. Get DUI on record and other charges which are ultimately dropped.

4. Other various stupid things that wouldn't happen sober, i.e. driving over center medians, turning the wrong way on a one-way street, etc.

I had the same mentality as you after 6 drinks - that I could drive a school bus full of children home with no problem. It finally took the DUI to change my thinking about drinking and driving but it doesn't need to be that way for you. I certainly didn't quit drinking though. In fact, it got way worse when I would just stay home and not have to worry about driving. So that's not the answer either.

I hope you make the right decision here. I had to learn how to plan ahead. Line up rides, find a place to stay, get a DD. I figured out it really wasn't that hard to do. Now I've learned that I can't drink at all so none of that is a concern anymore.

Good luck!

Time2Focus

Thanks but I don't need you pointing your finger at me. These remarks are uncalled for. I have never been drunk and gotten behind the wheel with them in the car. Everyone else tonight has been encouraging and supportive and here you come along and make a comment that is obvious to everyone, including myself. Im going to my first meeting now.

soberlicious

Hey T2F,
You are super fortunate to have such a great wife. I f*cked my marriage up to the point of no return. Oh well...casualty of addiction I suppose. Some things get so broken they cannot be fixed. If it's "things" that's ok...no bigs. But if it's relationships and people, it is a lasting sadness. I know how you are feeling right now. Not the most fun of times. Nevertheless I am excited for you because I know what you don't just yet. Leaving that sh*t behind is the best thing you will do. It's great to really live. Best to you.

Dee74

let's not get sidetracked here with bickering.

we're about support, not about being punitive.

If you can't give support here, ok...but please move on from this thread.

D

wpainterw

Thanks Dee. And, from your new avatar, I see you've somehow gotten younger! The years have certainly been kind to you! You've also lost some weight. Happy New Year!

W.

tomsteve

im glad ive read through the comments and see that ya didnt pass AA by.
we are sick poeple. in our drinking, we have done a lot to put others lives in jeopardy.
i have driven many,many,many times drunk and put thousands of peoples lives at risk. i can say that my alcoholic actions were responsible for the death of another human. thats not something i would want anyone to experience, either from my side, or more importantly, from the side of the victims family.
do i tolerate drunk driving today? nope. just because i did it whan i was drinking doesnt mean i condone what i did. there was nothing right about it.

"Why the hell do I keep putting ALL of this at risk?"
to answer yer question, and it is just my opinion, it is because you are an alcoholic. its what we do when we drink. we are selfish and self centered.

fill us in on how that meeting was for ya. yer gonna find a fellowship who have walked in your shoes and will help ya learn how to live.
i was once a useless,worthless, hopeless, helpless POS drunk. then i went to AA.
now i am useful, worthful, hopeful, and helpful.

Paddler

You joined the forum not too long after me. =) I quite drinking on Christmas day. I'm slowly starting to feel better...

I'm 32, went to college, went to grad school, am married with a professional and have 2 young kids. We're constantly going to dinners, functions, having people over, on and on...

If I said I had never driven my two kids and/or wife with a blood alcohol limit above the law's provided number... I'd be flat out lying. And that means if someone had pulled out in front of me, I had swerved to miss a deer and hit a tree, and/or simply had an "accident" I would be nailed with a DUI, child endangerment, my reputation and my wife's (who would socially - don't we all - drink with me)'s reputation destroyed... on and on... all it would have taken is 2 beers and I'm sure, sadly, I was beyond that more than once.

I used to think because I was driving back roads of Tennessee and W.Carolina I was immune from danger. I thought all the practice I had driving in college with a hand over one eye had me in good enough shape to drive slow and safe enough to avoid an accident.

Truth is - God, for some reason I hope to discover on my journey to sober living - spared me. By His grace alone during the 12 years I was drinking I never physically hurt anyone. Well, other than the emotional pain I put people through, broken relationships, and terrible hangovers...

And the driving aspect my friend - is just a smidgen of reasoning that was good enough for me to say enough.

My boy is 4 and my little girl is 2. My wife is 11 weeks pregnant. God willing none of my kids will remember or know a drunk father. And my wife and I are excited about changing. Best of luck. I'm on day 4. Poured out a 6 pack of yuengling I'd set on the porch in the snow before Christmas last night. Oh, and a half bottle of wine I found in the fridge... and a half empty bottle of Crown in my suitcase from Christmas Eve.