Coldfusion

You have not written anything about your wife and son. Where do they fit in?

FreeFall

For me, focusing on negative consequences has helped me to stop drinking so it's a good thing. When I was drinking I took all kinds of chances with driving and I hated myself for it. The decisions we make when we're drinking are not the way we'd behave while sober and it's very scary. I think everyone has been there, and no one wants to see you go through something bad happening.

Time2Focus

What do you mean? I'm not understanding the question..

escapist

If you did get caught would you admit you had a problem then? I got caught and still would'nt admit I had a problem. I hit a parked car on New Years 1999. I was living it up Prince style. ( party like it's 1999 ) The car was two doors down from my house. Right in front of the Police Chief's house. He is my neighbor. Well, I went to jail you betcha. I had got away with drinking and driving for YEARS but when I got caught I really got caught. I remember the Chief standing outside in the snow in his robe looking at me in the back of a police car with my hands in cuffs. I still insisted it was "bad luck" I hope you arent as bad off as I was.

lilgolden73

Im sorry if you thought I wasn't trying to help you,as I stated I have been there but I stopped, I dont think anyone is judging, just wanna help thats all!

Time2Focus

Thank you for sharing. I don't want something like this to happen. I guess by posting this thread today, in a way, I am admitting there is a major problem. Hopefully by "coming out" about my stupid actions, it will shock me into changing.

Coldfusion

How do they feel about your drinking? Are you abusive? Are they ever in the car while you DUI? Is your wife an alcoholic too?

My wife is the center of my universe. When I had step children, they were very important to me.

Time2Focus

I have drank before and driven with them in the car, but not to the extent I do when I'm by myself. I'm much more careless when it is just me in the car. I know I know.... it isn't JUST me that is being endangered, it is everyone on the road. I realize this and trust me, I'm kicking myself hard in the a$$ for it. I have got to change.

Natom

I was a drug dealer for several years. Albeit not a very good one. I took stupid risks and hung around with stupid people. People I knew were getting busted left, right and centre. Houses were raided, cars were pulled over. People were sent down. An old acquaintance of mine is doing a stretch for a deal that got busted half way through.

My point is none of that happened to me. I was known to the police and my car was followed all the time but it was never searched. I was never searched. Nothing happened to me even though people around me were going down. I had to ask myself why it never happened to me. After all I was doing the same thing in the same place. The only conclusion I came too was that I wasn't supposed to end up in prison. God, my higher power, spirit guide. Whatever you wanna call it was looking out for me big time. Because by rights I should be in prison on a 14 year stretch...or dead. And I am so grateful that I'm not.

Natom

Coldfusion

The thing that shocked me into changing was spending a week in detox with kids who were trying not to ruin their lives with heroin. You need to take some action if you expect to recover.

Delilah1

First, welcome to SR, I am glad you are posting on here. I think we have all made choices that we never have made sober, and also all woken up the next morning and said "I am done." My words usually lasted until around that night when a glass of wine seemed like a good idea.

You obviously know all about the dangers of driving and drinking, and when sober know it is a bad idea. However, after a few drinks it is amazing what seems like a good idea. One of my husband's best friends used to say he is a "good drunk driver", what an idiotic statement, there is no such thing.

I am sure that I have driven in the past when I should not have been, and I am very lucky that I never hurt someone else or myself. I never had anything horrible happen, or the proverbial "rock bottom" but I knew my drinking was interfering with me being fully present with my kids, which is not okay at all. I never had any consequences at work, and amazingly was able to do presentations, analyze situations and make important decisions. However, thee were days I went to work feeling much less than 100% and at times pushed deadlines off until the next day.

This is a great site where people will share their own stories, and will offer advice and support to anyone who posts. I hope you will continue to read and post, and when you are ready to say you are done with drinking you will find an extremely encouraging community to support you every step along the way.

Time2Focus

Pretty sure I'm going to go to a meeting tonight. Would be my first one.

Time2Focus

Thank you. I really appreciate your post.

wpainterw

I am greatly heartened and encouraged by your response to these posts on this thread. I was going to say something but was interrupted by a family matter. Very briefly I consider myself fortunate indeed that I never hurt anyone on the road. If that should happen how is it possible to forgive oneself? To drink and hurt oneself is one thing. To let one's drinking hurt another is quite something else.

W.

Pondlady

Good luck at your first meeting tonight. All that's needed to attend a meeting is a desire to stop drinking....which I think you have Keep posting....I think you'll find it helps.

4WWWW

Get to a meeting it might work for you. I have been to 4 in the last 3 days and am going to another tonight.

Dee74

I'm glad you decided to go to a meeting.

Sorry if you felt you were being kicked too - you have to remember a lot of us are lucky to be here - your thread certainly reminded me of crazy drives in which I was a passenger.

Some of us haven't been that lucky too - some members here have injured themselves or others while driving impaired...and some have lost loved ones.

Every response here is from someone who wants you to step away from the precipice and change your life for the better, man - y'know?

D

wpainterw

When you go to the meeting, it might be well to give the folks there some slack. No one's perfect. You may think that some of them may be hypocritical, even judgmental, particularly on something like DUI. But my experience has been that for the most part the AA folks are persons of good will. In fact it has amazed me at times how supportive some of them can be, how they can laugh and make a person feel better.
Anyway, good luck. Try to get the best out of AA. If one group makes you feel uncomfortable then try another.

W.

Hevyn

Hi Time2Focus. We're so glad you're here, & have started this valuable discussion. I finally ran out of luck & got 2 dui's in a year's time. I ended up in jail for 8 days for the 2nd one. (It could've been 2 yrs.) I drove when I shouldn't have over the years, but never felt out of control - never sped - tried to be careful. We always feel like we're handling it, but looking back I realize I could've been killed or ended up in jail for life for vehicular homicide. Then there are no re-do's - no chance to make it right or fix it. I can't imagine the horror of waking up in jail, hungover, and realizing what we've done.

I'm glad you're seeing that things need to change. I never saw the light until it was almost too late - you're taking action. Glad you are here and looking for a better life. We all care about you, and want to help.

paulhewson

You sound like you have a lot going for you! Don't mess up a good thing. Like others have said here, think of your wife and kids, and the other people on the road. It only takes a split second on the road, and you could lose everything. I used to think "I'm being careful, nothing is going to happen." Well, I'm going to jail in a few months. I was lucky. I got into the kind of fender-bender where you both pull into a parking lot and exchange insurance information, and a cop rolled up. It could have been much worse.