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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2
Hello
Hello everyone! I just recently accepted that I may be an alcoholic and I need help. I am 42 and never had a problem with drinking until my mid 30's. I'm sure I share the same story as a lot of people on here. I met my current husband in my mid 30's, he was a drinker but I wasn't, until then I had only had the occasional beer or wine cooler. I knew he was a drinker, but he had a lot of wonderful characteristics so it really didn't bother me at the time. I didn't realize until we started getting serious that he was more than a casual drinker. I made the mistake of thinking that with enough love, I could change him. Big mistake, I changed for him 
I still love him very much and he is still a wonderful person. But, I am ready to go back to being my sober self. But, he isn't ready to quit, so I have no support from him. I think it makes him feel better about himself when we both drink. But, I have to be the strong one and do this for our entire family. That's why I'm so glad I found this community. I really feel that I don't have anyone around me that I can talk to. My parents aren't drinkers and have a very low opinion and tolerance for dinking, they think a person should just be able to say I'm done. Even though, they are both former smokers who struggled to stop smoking. I love my parents, but they are very judgmental, I just can't talk to them. Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get that all out there I guess. I am so ready to do this 
I still love him very much and he is still a wonderful person. But, I am ready to go back to being my sober self. But, he isn't ready to quit, so I have no support from him. I think it makes him feel better about himself when we both drink. But, I have to be the strong one and do this for our entire family. That's why I'm so glad I found this community. I really feel that I don't have anyone around me that I can talk to. My parents aren't drinkers and have a very low opinion and tolerance for dinking, they think a person should just be able to say I'm done. Even though, they are both former smokers who struggled to stop smoking. I love my parents, but they are very judgmental, I just can't talk to them. Sorry for the rambling, just needed to get that all out there I guess. I am so ready to do this 
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR InNeedofSupport
You'll find lots of support here. You can join the class of Dec on this forum for ongoing support from people who are quitting at the same time as you, as well as posting here. Hopefully your sobriety will inspire your husband too x
You'll find lots of support here. You can join the class of Dec on this forum for ongoing support from people who are quitting at the same time as you, as well as posting here. Hopefully your sobriety will inspire your husband too x
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,511
Welcome! It's great to have you here.
My story is much the same - I wasn't a drinker when I married my husband (now deceased). I grew to really enjoy it and ended up with a serious addiction of my own - but before that happened I tried to help both of us moderate. It never worked. Since he'd been drinking from age 15 on - he was well on the road to destruction. I couldn't go down with the ship, so I had to leave that person that I loved so much.
Until he sees the light there isn't much you can do, which you've already realized. It's good that you understand you can no longer be his drinking buddy. The fact that you're not drinking will make him uncomfortable - maybe even resentful - but I think you should be proud of yourself for wanting a better life.
I had no one to talk to about it either - my friends & family could have 2 drinks and that would be it. There was no awareness of alcoholism, & no one cared to understand or sympathize. That's why I love it here. Not being alone made all the difference to me. I'm sure you'll find it very helpful, & we're glad you joined us.
My story is much the same - I wasn't a drinker when I married my husband (now deceased). I grew to really enjoy it and ended up with a serious addiction of my own - but before that happened I tried to help both of us moderate. It never worked. Since he'd been drinking from age 15 on - he was well on the road to destruction. I couldn't go down with the ship, so I had to leave that person that I loved so much.
Until he sees the light there isn't much you can do, which you've already realized. It's good that you understand you can no longer be his drinking buddy. The fact that you're not drinking will make him uncomfortable - maybe even resentful - but I think you should be proud of yourself for wanting a better life.
I had no one to talk to about it either - my friends & family could have 2 drinks and that would be it. There was no awareness of alcoholism, & no one cared to understand or sympathize. That's why I love it here. Not being alone made all the difference to me. I'm sure you'll find it very helpful, & we're glad you joined us.
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