Xune

Choice.

You'll have to make some decisions in the coming days.

I've said no to alcohol and will never fear any decision involving alcohol again.

Surrendering to alcohol, I found freedom.

You can too.

I wish you well in the choices you make.

GWillikers

Yo, just wanted to say thanks for posting that. I'm brand spankin' new here, too, and glad to find out I'm not the only one who does amazingly ******** things when I'm blitzed. Always a great story. People love to hear bout 'em. Hell, I love to tell 'em, once the shame, guilt, and embarrassment subside somewhat. If you can get someone to laugh about finding a homeless person to smoke crack with while sleeping in a bush outside a "massage" parlor at 3am, it's not serious, it's funny. Just another wild and crazy night with a wild and crazy guy! Mexican jail, set up by federales, what an adventure! One for the books, for the grandkids, right? At least that's how I justify the ******** I do.

Well, looks like you got some folks who've got some good suggestions. Hope this place works out for you; I think it's a good jumping off point, and a great way to be completely honest and let it out. Actually, that's what I've liked about NA/AA meetings in the past. Until recently, the thought of "working the steps" made me queasy, but having a place to be completely open and honest has always felt really good.

Take care.

PeteMitchell

thanks to everyone for replying. funny thing is too, the more and more i "talk" about this (is this talking? haha) with you all, the better i feel. this is a great step. i've been told by a number of exgirlfriends and my exfiance i should quit and go see a shrink. funny how they're all exs too, right?

and yes, i definitely need to find new friends, perhaps a new hobby too.

as for the stories? i told a couple of "friends" already, they laughed and said "oh i can't wait to hear more!" really? it definitely isn't funny.

FreeFall

I think we're all conditioned to laugh at drinking stories. I know I have heard some where I laughed along with everyone but was inwardly thinking "and you're actually admitting that out loud? Or "how humiliating, I never want to get to that point". Some of the people laughing at the stories may actually feel bad for you.

I used to joke around about my drinking to beat people to the punch. If I were making a joke about it then no one would criticize, or ask too many questions (that I wouldn't be able to answer if I didn't remember). I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore!

Delilah1

Glad you are here, SR is a wonderful and supportive community. There are lots of options for helping you to remain sober, check out the secular section on SR. Also, Anna has a great thread with suggested books.

Looking forward to hearing stories about your recovry journey, those will be worth sharing with the grand kids someday!

nomis

Pete, at first it might be hard to see, but being sober has many benefits. One of them being you get to realize who your real friends are. Trust me on this one, the people laughing about your story aren't. Your real friends are the ones whose hearts sink and are terrified for your safety when they hear stories like that. Because when you get hurt, they get hurt too.

If you do decide to go on this journey and get sober, I have a hunch that those laughing at your stories now will be the first ones to distance themselves from you, and your real friends will be there to help you do ANYTHING to get sober.

This has been my experience anyways, and no..... you are certainly not alone in how you feel right now. All the best and hope you stick around. AA or not you'll find this site is a great resource in recovery.

WithoutFear

Pete, I am new here as well and also dreading the pressure of friends on New Years Eve or...any night for that matter. I am in NY also but , like you, have turned here for support as opposed to attending AA meetings "in person". I also checked out the online AA meetings but find mostly that the main success for me comes from the desire to never ever go back to that dark place again. I've embarrassed myself one time too many and, like you, was the life of the party. People expect it from me...very difficult. I wish you success in your efforts! OH...I also purchased the book: under the influence. <---great read!

TrixMixer

Quote:

Originally Posted by GWillikers

Yo, just wanted to say thanks for posting that. I'm brand spankin' new here, too, and glad to find out I'm not the only one who does amazingly ******** things when I'm blitzed. Always a great story. People love to hear bout 'em. Hell, I love to tell 'em, once the shame, guilt, and embarrassment subside somewhat. If you can get someone to laugh about finding a homeless person to smoke crack with while sleeping in a bush outside a "massage" parlor at 3am, it's not serious, it's funny. Just another wild and crazy night with a wild and crazy guy! Mexican jail, set up by federales, what an adventure! One for the books, for the grandkids, right? At least that's how I justify the ******** I do.

Well it looks like you two crazy guys could tell a lot of "can you top this" kinda stories. As long as they are in your past it can be humourous.

So what do you do now--continue to drink or stop for good. A choice needs to be made quy's. We don't need to hear any of your funny stories we have plenty of our own embaressing moments.

GWilikers----you are So right when you call your actions ********

Pete---you don't NEED to find new friends Now you just have to get rid (or stay away) from the ones you have now.

There is one thing funny (not in a Ha Ha way, but rather a peculiar way) Drunks always find other Drunks to be friends with. It's like there is this drunk magnet, and it is very dangerous, because these "friends" will never want you to admit you have a problem, God forbid get sober. It would make them have to take a good look at the drunks they are themselves.

You both seem young with a chance for a great future take the chance now, you may Never get another.

Just my opinion......and I wish you both the best

TrixMixer

soberlicious

I always had outrageous stories to tell too...you're right...people laugh, but it's definitely not funny. It was sad and pathetic. Yeah...you may bring the f*ckin fun, but what else?What else are you known for? What do people think of first when your name comes up?

When I realized that the qualities I was most known for were being drunk, wild, promiscuous, and crazy...say anything, do anything...no filter. It's really very sad. That wasn't really me.

You can definitely have/be fun without drinking. Most people don't even realize I'm not a drinker when I'm out.

Rational Recovery calls this the mingling of the beasts.

Pete, check out the secular section of this forum and read about AVRT. It might make sense to you. It's good to have some strategies to understand and deal with the Addictive Voice.

You can do this. You really can.