60 days for me today--what is working for me.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
60 days for me today--what is working for me.
I can't believe I have 60 days today--feels like the last 30 went much faster than the first 30. With the exception of being pregnant/breastfeeding, and living in the hospital with my daughter a year and a half ago --this is the longest I have gone without alcohol in my adult life (I am 40 now). Most importantly, this is the first time I consider myself in recovery. Sober.
To be honest, this time has been a bit easier for me than I would have ever thought (in terms of alcohol). Not that it is entirely easy--but easier than it has been when I have tried to go without alcohol in the past. So, what have I done differently this time? (Please know that this is what is currently working for me, your road may be a different one.)
1. Admitted I was an alcoholic. Not a problem drinker, not I had a problem, not I need to stop drinking for awhile, not I have to just not drink hard liquor, not I can't drink on an empty stomach, not I can only drink on the weekends, not I can only drink at special occasions, not I can only drink while out socially. I know I cannot drink today or ever again. I remind myself daily. I don't obsess or lament about it. It just is. Just as I am a 5 1" female, I am an alcoholic. And that is ok. I am no worse, or better, than any other alcoholic.
2. I come to SR daily. I read the new threads. Sometimes I randomly pick old threads and read them through. I pay attention to successes. I also pay attention to those who fail. I post when I can, but most importantly, I read and learn.
3. I go to therapy weekly to discuss how I am feeling with my therapist--both about alcohol and other difficult life situations that are currently happening in my life. My therapist knows I am alcoholic and supports what I am currently doing to stay sober.
4. I attend AA meetings 2-3 times a week and have recently gotten a sponsor. Despite for many years thinking AA was not for me, I went/go with an open mind. I enjoy the fellowship. I am reading the Big Book and plan on reading it again. While I can't relate to everything that is said during a meeting, I get comfort from the fellowship and know I am doing the right thing by attending meetings and being willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober today. I pay attention to those things I can relate to and keep an open mind about the things I cannot. I am feeling more spiritual (not religious) than I ever have, and I attribute that piece of my recovery to AA. I am aiming for progress, and not perfection.
5. I pay attention to my thoughts surrounding alcohol. I consider drinking alcohol for me, a moral failure going forward. Just as I would never try to harm another (or steal, cheat etc) I consider alcohol harmful for me, and thus I cannot drink it. Any thought that leads me towards drinking, I attribute to my addict voice and dismiss and ignore as best and as quickly as I can. I am a member of the no matter what club. No matter what happens, good or bad, in life--I know that drinking another drop of alcohol will never make it better--only worse. It won't make me feel better, only worse. The guilt and the shame won't be better, only worse. There is nothing good left in alcohol for me. The active part of my alcoholism is done. So today I won't drink. And I plan on making that same choice every day for the rest of my life. One day at a time, gratefully.
Thanks for all of you at SR who are hear posting daily, it helps me greatly. This is just one part of my toolbox, but it is a really, really important one.
To be honest, this time has been a bit easier for me than I would have ever thought (in terms of alcohol). Not that it is entirely easy--but easier than it has been when I have tried to go without alcohol in the past. So, what have I done differently this time? (Please know that this is what is currently working for me, your road may be a different one.)
1. Admitted I was an alcoholic. Not a problem drinker, not I had a problem, not I need to stop drinking for awhile, not I have to just not drink hard liquor, not I can't drink on an empty stomach, not I can only drink on the weekends, not I can only drink at special occasions, not I can only drink while out socially. I know I cannot drink today or ever again. I remind myself daily. I don't obsess or lament about it. It just is. Just as I am a 5 1" female, I am an alcoholic. And that is ok. I am no worse, or better, than any other alcoholic.
2. I come to SR daily. I read the new threads. Sometimes I randomly pick old threads and read them through. I pay attention to successes. I also pay attention to those who fail. I post when I can, but most importantly, I read and learn.
3. I go to therapy weekly to discuss how I am feeling with my therapist--both about alcohol and other difficult life situations that are currently happening in my life. My therapist knows I am alcoholic and supports what I am currently doing to stay sober.
4. I attend AA meetings 2-3 times a week and have recently gotten a sponsor. Despite for many years thinking AA was not for me, I went/go with an open mind. I enjoy the fellowship. I am reading the Big Book and plan on reading it again. While I can't relate to everything that is said during a meeting, I get comfort from the fellowship and know I am doing the right thing by attending meetings and being willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober today. I pay attention to those things I can relate to and keep an open mind about the things I cannot. I am feeling more spiritual (not religious) than I ever have, and I attribute that piece of my recovery to AA. I am aiming for progress, and not perfection.
5. I pay attention to my thoughts surrounding alcohol. I consider drinking alcohol for me, a moral failure going forward. Just as I would never try to harm another (or steal, cheat etc) I consider alcohol harmful for me, and thus I cannot drink it. Any thought that leads me towards drinking, I attribute to my addict voice and dismiss and ignore as best and as quickly as I can. I am a member of the no matter what club. No matter what happens, good or bad, in life--I know that drinking another drop of alcohol will never make it better--only worse. It won't make me feel better, only worse. The guilt and the shame won't be better, only worse. There is nothing good left in alcohol for me. The active part of my alcoholism is done. So today I won't drink. And I plan on making that same choice every day for the rest of my life. One day at a time, gratefully.
Thanks for all of you at SR who are hear posting daily, it helps me greatly. This is just one part of my toolbox, but it is a really, really important one.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Savingself, you don't know how much this post has put a smile on my face. I'm a similar age (and height lol) and I'm 61 days. The last 30 days went twice as fast as the first for sure! You have so eloquently written exactly how I am approaching this, except I only get to AA once a week.
Congratulations on your 60 days. I planned to buy myself some jewellery to mark 60, but I have put it off until 100 days.
Life right now isn't good or bad. It is what it is.
S x
Congratulations on your 60 days. I planned to buy myself some jewellery to mark 60, but I have put it off until 100 days.
Life right now isn't good or bad. It is what it is.
S x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 496
Congrts on your 60 days. That's great. I really liked your post. I'm still new to sobriety,but I'm coming upon 3 wks this Saturday. I agree. Step 1 says it all. For many years I allowed myself to think maybe I just drink 2 much,so I'm really not an alcoholic. Deceiving only myself. Good luck on your journey. Sounds like you are doing great.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Awesome stuff this is great news..
Enjoy your milestone. And I also really started getting sober at 40. And have seen so many that did. It seems to really be a common age. We usually think its so late, but remember we are only late for one meeting.
Our first AA Meeting..
Have a beautiful day..
Enjoy your milestone. And I also really started getting sober at 40. And have seen so many that did. It seems to really be a common age. We usually think its so late, but remember we are only late for one meeting.
Our first AA Meeting..
Have a beautiful day..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Sounds like you are doing the right things...And it looks like it's working...Keep it up...Like they say...Put half the effort into your recovery that you put into getting your next drink....And you'll be fine...Great post!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I consider drinking alcohol for me, a moral failure going forward.
I quit at 41 too...now I'm 47.
Funny thing is I'm in better physical shape, happier, and more confident than I was in my 20s. "Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."
Congrats on becoming a non-drinker. xo
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Dont be Finethats not where you want to be...
In recovery I learned that Fine = F***** UP , Insecure, Neorotic, and Emotionally Unbalanced..
Thats how people answer the question " how are you ? " in the rooms. When they say fine , usually they want to be left alone to continue keep not doing the next right thing..
In recovery I learned that Fine = F***** UP , Insecure, Neorotic, and Emotionally Unbalanced..
Thats how people answer the question " how are you ? " in the rooms. When they say fine , usually they want to be left alone to continue keep not doing the next right thing..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by IndaMiricale 
Dont be Finethats not where you want to be...
In recovery I learned that Fine = F***** UP , Insecure, Neorotic, and Emotionally Unbalanced..
Thats how people answer the question " how are you ? " in the rooms. When they say fine , usually they want to be left alone to continue keep not doing the next right thing..
In recovery I learned that Fine = F***** UP , Insecure, Neorotic, and Emotionally Unbalanced..
Thats how people answer the question " how are you ? " in the rooms. When they say fine , usually they want to be left alone to continue keep not doing the next right thing..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Congrats on 60 days! AA is working for me as well since I reached surrender and faced the fact I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable. FOr me this is the only way I have been able to stop drinking and have the obsession of drinking removed.
I guess I differ in that I don't face a moral question of my alcohol misuse by re-reading step 1 and applying step 2. Morality to me means going against something which I have power and decision making over. For me , my only hope against alcohol is a power greater than myself. I believe the reason I kept failing in the past with self will was I truly had no chance on my own. Surrender was the only path for me. I don't sweep the past under the carpet but I also see the occasions where I simply had no mental defense against the first drink and from that point , no human power could stop me.
Glad you are finding what others have found.
I guess I differ in that I don't face a moral question of my alcohol misuse by re-reading step 1 and applying step 2. Morality to me means going against something which I have power and decision making over. For me , my only hope against alcohol is a power greater than myself. I believe the reason I kept failing in the past with self will was I truly had no chance on my own. Surrender was the only path for me. I don't sweep the past under the carpet but I also see the occasions where I simply had no mental defense against the first drink and from that point , no human power could stop me.
Glad you are finding what others have found.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Originally Posted by IndaMiricale
Dont be Finethats not where you want to be...
In recovery I learned that Fine = F***** UP , Insecure, Neorotic, and Emotionally Unbalanced..
Thats how people answer the question " how are you ? " in the rooms. When they say fine , usually they want to be left alone to continue keep not doing the next right thing..
In recovery I learned that Fine = F***** UP , Insecure, Neorotic, and Emotionally Unbalanced..
Thats how people answer the question " how are you ? " in the rooms. When they say fine , usually they want to be left alone to continue keep not doing the next right thing..
S x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Mount Pleasant, Michigan
Posts: 25
First, congrats to the both of you on reaching 60 days of sobriety. That is awesome. I took my last drink when I was 28. Here I am 35 and I am still sober and going strong.
Keep up the great work!!!
Keep up the great work!!!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Hi Savingself, thanks for posting that Sounds like youve got your sobriety plan well thought and worked out and it is helping you. You come across positive and determind (which I think is part of what is needed) Well done X
Sounds like youve got your sobriety plan well thought and worked out and it is helping you. You come across positive and determind (which I think is part of what is needed) Well done X
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
SavingSelf - I too finally found sobriety when I turned 40. If I didn't know I didn't write your post I would swear it was me. LOL!
I'm closing out my 4th month and ditto to each and every word. I so identify with your journey and congrats to us both for perhaps finally figuring out what tools work for us!
Yay!!
I'm closing out my 4th month and ditto to each and every word. I so identify with your journey and congrats to us both for perhaps finally figuring out what tools work for us!
Yay!!
Last edited by IWillWin; 12-26-2012 at 02:28 PM. Reason: iPhone again!!!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I pay attention to my thoughts surrounding alcohol. I consider drinking alcohol for me, a moral failure going forward. Just as I would never try to harm another (or steal, cheat etc) I consider alcohol harmful for me, and thus I cannot drink it.
Any thought that leads me towards drinking, I attribute to my addict voice and dismiss and ignore as best and as quickly as I can. I am a member of the no matter what club. No matter what happens, good or bad, in life--I know that drinking another drop of alcohol will never make it better--only worse. It won't make me feel better, only worse. The guilt and the shame won't be better, only worse.
Any thought that leads me towards drinking, I attribute to my addict voice and dismiss and ignore as best and as quickly as I can. I am a member of the no matter what club. No matter what happens, good or bad, in life--I know that drinking another drop of alcohol will never make it better--only worse. It won't make me feel better, only worse. The guilt and the shame won't be better, only worse.
Becoming the watcher of our thoughts gives us the emotional space to be aware of what we are thinking as we think. Becoming the watcher allows us to be conscious of what our base addictive urges are asking us to do. Becoming the watcher lets us rise above our misery and guilt and shame, and frees us to become who we need to be.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Originally Posted by Sapling
What a crock...I must have missed that in the book..
Very surprised you didnt learn that at Hazelden.. And I never said it was in the book. Just like all the other acronym's..
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