avocado

it equals nothing but free time to start drinking early - and that's when i run into trouble - all day binges for several days. Last week, it meant smoking some crack at night after drinking since morning, then the next day I woke up on a couch and walked straight to the bar, started drinking at 9am and then walked home and passed out (no memory of walking home), woke back up in the evening, got drunk out of my mind and wound up being chauffered to the hospital by the police and getting stuck with an IV of fluids and vitamins to get me down from the .299 I was tested at. So stupid. I know I'm better than this.

But anyway... does anyone have any tips on getting past the boredom of beng unemployed mixed with the allure of an exciting binge for someone who has repeatedly 'forgotten' all the harm he's done to himself?

2granddaughters

Regular AA meetings would be appealing to me....

All the best.

Bob R

Anna

Volunteer work...get out into your community and do something to give back. The rewards will be priceless.

avocado

I've been to a few AA meetings several years back and found them totally unbearable, for a variety of reasons which I won't get into for not wanting to cause problems by sounding negative.

I am thinking of volunteer work, however my 'community' is part of my problem. I moved back to this city a year ago and have spiraled downhill since. I was doing fairly okay before coming back, so I am leaving in two months for greener pastures with less bad influences surrounding me. Once I get somewhere new I will be volunteering in some manner.

CharlieNoogan

So AA meetings are out, volunteering/community work is out...

You could put all of your efforts into finding a paying job. Just sayin'...

avocado

Since I'm leaving the area, getting a job is something I'm trying to do, but on a temporary basis - something minor like retail. There's no sense in finding a serious job that I'll be leaving in two months.

2granddaughters

Your original post sounds quite unbearable as well. Those AA meetings must have been bad ........

All the best.

Bob R

CharlieNoogan

If you did find that "serious job" then you might have both a reason to stay and a reason to remain sober.

I'm not trying to preach - I'm currently unemployed - but I'm still doing my damnedest to find work in my field. Trying not to succumb to settling for "retail" or other work... It's keeping me busy and sober. You know how hard it is to accurately fill out employment applications while drunk? It doesn't work...

mwstylee

Make "finding a job" your job. Seriously. Brush up that resume, start hunting down some people you can list as references - update them on your life so they can talk about you to your interviewer. Enroll in some continuing education or courses or adult education classes that would give you a leg-up or allow you to earn a higher salary. Does your industry have exams? Study for an exam or two and take it - it usually means a higher salary. Check out companies in your new town and learn about them, so you know what to talk about at your interview. All this stuff can take up hours a day for a couple months easily.

IndaMiricale

I found that those meetings really could interfer with my drinking , which was unbearable..

avocado

@ Charlie - I don't want to stay around here. I just don't like it here for a variety of reasons. I am 100% sure I'm leaving once my lease ends in March.

mw - thank you for the suggestions. I am busy doing a number of those things. Including networking with people across the country to figure out a game plan once I start traveling.

2grandaughters - I respectfully request you stop replying to me. You're not helping with your condescension.

IndaMiricale

I did that geographic cure many times..

I moved to Boulder , Hawaii, San Fran, and I still had one big problem

I took me with me..

Until I wanted to live without drinking daily and using all the side dishes, I never faced the fact I was the problem.

Sapling

All day binges and smoking crack...Blacking out and getting hauled in ambulances....I think I'd make getting clean and sober your job. I've heard what you can't do. What are you willing to do about it? This isn't a game you're playing...It will kill you. I don't think boredom is your problem.

avocado

I'm not looking for a 'geographic cure'. I just don't like the northeast, and especially pennsylvania. I only moved back here because I was in Europe for a year and returning to the northeast was my easiest option, financially. I am now ready to leave. Even if I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol in the past year I'd be leaving. It's been my plan all along.

Impurrfect

((avocado)) - I'm going on 6 years in recovery (from crack) but recently found myself unemployed for not fault of my own.

I did get a volunteer "job" at a local senior center, serving lunch. I can't believe how much I LOVE this job! Not only have I met a ton of people, there are other volunteers who work there to work off community service, and I met another RA!

I've also been in school, for my 3rd Associate's degree, and just finished (online). Though not in my field that I studied for, I just got a job through the connections I made at my volunteer job.

I totally get leaving where you are, as I did that when I quit the crack. I worked as a server, at McDonald's and anywhere I could find a job.

For me, I had to stay busy. Idle time just let my mind wonder too much.

I put off doing volunteer work, for ages. I kept reading about it here, then a friend I'd met in school (who knows my past and wants me to write a book of my life!) told me about the sr. center. I am loved, appreciated, and have met some awesome people. I can't TELL you how much that has boosted my little ego...I was hell-bent on putting myself down because of my addiction.

Give it a try? There are TONS of places that need volunteers. Your experience as an A (addict) could very well make the difference! You may be like me, come across other RA's (recovering addicts) and you can help each other. It can't hurt, and it very well may HELP you. Not to mention, volunteer work looks really good on a resume, or so I've found out

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

avocado

boredom might not be the primary root of my problem, but it plays a role. I like to be stimulated. I'd love to make getting clean and sober my job, but no one is going to pay me for that so I need to find a way to make money as well. What I'm going to do is follow the SMART recovery book I bought several months ago and just put on a shelf after being sober for a month and thinking I was okay. I am also going to continue posting here and elsewhere and avoid certain people in my life who I think are living lifestyles that influence me negatively. I am also going to begin working on recording a music album I've been writing throughout the year, which will take up some of my free time I might otherwise spend getting messed up.

Sapling

This sounds great...Now all you have to do...Is do it.

avocado

Thank you, impurrfect. Just to clarify also, I luckily never got addicted to crack. The comedown from that stuff has always been too dreadful for me, so I would smoke one night then months go by before I do it again. I've probably done it no more than 6 times this year, if that, and I don't do coke because the snorting isn't my thing. Alcohol is the only thing that causes me issues, and one of them is that it occasionally leads to hard drugs. I will take your advice and look for a volunteer position this coming week, after the holiday. I'll have to let them know I'm leaving though, so they don't expect me to be there long term.

SeekSobriety

Well for me, it took getting clean and sober so that I could actually get a job. After trying many things, what finally clicked is when I started getting help for my addictions and learning how to take care of myself without needing to get high/drunk and getting into medical and other troubles. While being unemployed, I was actively involved in therapy, group meetings, etc. I did not allow myself to have any "Idle" time. I would fill up all the hours of the day with, brushing up my resume, Exercising, setting up interviews, filling out job applications, attending meetings, attending therapy, being involved in volunteer work or helping others. As long as I kept busy and kept working on staying clean and sober and learned how to live a sober life, things got much better.

I tried moving from place to place, but like some others said, My self always followed me. The problem was my self. Until I dealt with Self and learned how to deal with Me, that is when things started to change. Prior to that my answer was always, New Job, New town, new relationship. "I" was never the problem. Until I realized that I am responsible for me, that was when things clicked. I needed to learn to at least get along with myself instead of fighting myself and drinking away my troubles, which of course only made my troubles much much worse.

I wish you all the best, Your story reminds me of mine in some ways. Sometimes we have to rely on the advice of professionals to help us through the addictions. Otherwise I know that there is a nice cold spot on Skid Row and the Morgue waiting for my arrival. All I have to do is pick up the pipe or pick up the glass and it is just a matter of time before I will be down there.

I know that I have a choice and today I choose life.

avocado

Thank you. Believe me - I know my problem is me, and it goes deeper than addiction. I have a lot of unresolved issues. In fact, I'm more of someone who goes on a week long bender then stops for 2 or 3 weeks, so this tells me that I need to work on psychological issues beyond 'addiction' since I have no problem stopping for those periods of time. What happens is, I cycle back, I start feeling great again, the depression of feeling like a loser has subsided, and I tell myself I can have fun just getting a little drunk, and I do that night usually, but within days I'm spiraling down again. So it's that point that is the crux of my problem - that point where I tell myself I can handle it, where I lie to myself. I don't want that to happen again, because I see it getting worse and worse.