Elsaval

I have been reading stories on here for awhile. In the beginning I was contemplating getting sober and I knew that I needed help. My drinking started when I was in my early twenties, drinking beer. Mostly social at that time. It progressed in my early forties, I started drinking wine. I loved the taste, and how it made me feel relaxed. I really liked the pricier wines, thinking it would not cause damage to my health. (denial). I told myself that I would quit when I was 45, then it was 50, then it was 55. I was drinking at lest one bottle of wine daily. Some days 2 bottles. Around age 55 I lost my childhood friend and drinking friend. We were the same age, we grew up together, and shared a common love for partying and drinking. At the time of her death she was facing her third DUI, she was drinking, and taking pain pills. She was taking the pain pills from the car accident and drinking wine. She did not kill herself, she was too drunk to realize how many pills she took. I spoke with her 5 hours before she passed away, we even talked about going to AA. Her autopsy showed a BAL 3 x the normal along with her pain medications. After she passed away, I tried to stop drinking but I couldnt do it, I needed alcohol to relax and I missed her so much. I am now 60 and I knew in the last 2 years it was starting to cause health problems. Bad hangovers, slight tinge of yellow skin on my face. (Easily covered with makeup). I hid my drinking from everyone, my husband, my friends, and my family.. I went to the Doctor in April for a cold, she said lets do bloodwork since I hadn't been to a Doctor in 2 years. I knew that my liver enzymes would be elevated but I thought once I quit drinking my enzymes would return to normal. She told me not to take Tylenol or drink any alcohol and to come back to have my bloodwork rechecked. I decided that I needed help so I joined an outpatient treatment program in mid May. I quit drinking and I endured daily sober headaches, anxiety, did not feel well, I was unable to relax and sleep. About 3 weeks into sobriety one night I had auditory hallucinations. In my head I could hear screaming, it happened twice and woke me out of my sleep, very scary to say the lest. After 3 months sober I still felt jittery, I went back to have my liver enzymes tested and they had tripled. My Doctor performed more tests and I was diagnoised with PBC. It is an auto immune disorder. Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. Auto immune disorders run in my family. Now I have a liver specialist and the only cure is a liver transplant. I'm feeling much better on the medication, sleeping better, and my liver Doctor said I will lead a normal life. But I'm not sure what stage I am in in this disease because i will have more testing in March, stage 4 is the worse. The Medication is supposed to stop the liver inflammation. Since this disease can be controlled with medication, it is supposed to slow the progression to stage 4 (cirrhosis). I am so regretful that I allowed alcohol to destroy my body, my mind, my relationship with God, my husband, and my family. I may have ended up with this anyway but I'm sure the years of drinking weakened my immune system. I was looking forward to watching my grandchildren grow up, and retiring and enjoying life with my husband. I pray everyday for my health! Please get help if you cannot quit drinking before it is too late!

DAB

Sorry to hear about your health problems and your friend.
Hang in there and stay strong!
You can do this, time will heal all wounds.
Welcome to SR, I hope to hear more from you.
We are all here to help each other.
I am one of the lucky ones who only lost my first wife and soul to drinking.
At least I am getting closer to recovering my soul every day!

SoberJohn

Very sorry to hear about your health Elsaval but glad you are getting treatment, and glad you are here.

wpainterw

I hope it's not "too late" for you and that you do get your liver transplant soon. It was the possibility of liver disease which persuaded me to stop drinking eventually. So maybe this will be the start of your recovery too and, if you get the transplant, you will have a new beginning, the way I did. I do hope so. Don't beat up on yourself too much over this. You have had and have an illness. You are now trying to recover from it. You have my every good wish. Good luck.

W.

bloss

Thank you for sharing with us, makes one so grateful to be sober today. Best wishes for your health and recovery
Bloss

SunnyFlower

Elsaval-

Thank you for sharing your story, I hope those still suffering will learn from it.

I pray you do as your liver Doctor said you will..."Live a normal life". It is never to late to start living and enjoying what means the most to you.

Alcohol can't keep you from it anymore, your health can't either, as long as you don't let.

My Thoughts and Prayers go out to you!

warmspiritflame

I really needed to hear your story today, this day. It is never too late to start over, do better, give it all to God. There is nothing he can't do. I will be praying for you and Soberrecovery in general.

We will all be okay. Let's just keep working together. Where there are two or more gathered in my name . . . . . .

Citrus

Elsaval thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about your dear friend and your health problems. If I wasn't here right now I can see how things would go from bad to horrible for me if I didn't stop. I do want to be around to watch my children and hopefully my grandchildren grow.

Hugs and prayers for you. :ghug3

FreeFall

Elsaval, welcome and thanks for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend and your diagnosis. I hope you'll be able to get healthy and start living a life free from the slavery of alcohol. You're not alone.

Anna

I'm glad you shared your story. I think you have a lot to look forward too. It's great that you are feeling well and your dr is optimistic about your situation. I hope that you can enjoy each day as it comes, which is what we all should do.