Lizard99

I have recently started attended AA meetings, and I am grateful but also perplexed at the members who have been sober for over a decade and still attend. I want alcohol banished from my life and I don't understand how people would still want to attend and talk about it and hear about it for so many years. Is it that alcohol requires a lifelong determination or is it that some end up becoming dependent on AA or simply wanting to help newbies like myself.

sugarbear1

Since you are going, why not ask someone with several years of continued sobriety?

Lizard99

Funnily enough, I did and the response was "you'll understand soon enough". I just am in awe of these people who can have that level of commitment.

Dee74

I'm not an AA member Lizard, but I suspect many of the reasons would the same as why I'm still a member of SR after 6 years....

I like being here and hopefully, I do some good for others

D

Sazzle

From listening to stories in the rooms it seems that people can easily relapse if they start thinking they are cured. Mostly, their alcoholic brain convinces them they can drink normally and then they start back drinking full time.

Obviously I can't speak for everyone but that seems to be a theme from the chairs I have listened to.

I like the response you were given when you asked.

Cunning, baffling disease.

S x

awuh1

For some us the reason is not that we are afraid we will drink if we don’t attend meetings. It’s not even that we enjoy going to lots of meetings (although this is partially correct). It has to do with a change that has taken place in us. We are not the same people who came into AA those many years ago. It’s not like we just gave up drinking and that’s all that changed about us. In order to stay sober, lead a meaningful life and be happy, other things needed to change.

The AA program, leads to (among many other things) a shift away from self-centeredness. In the beginning you need to be a bit self-centered, and to want the benefits of sobriety for yourself. That’s good. What you eventually come to understand is that keeping this self-centered orientation to life puts you on a slippery slope. That in fact it is more difficult to maintain a comfortable sobriety with yourself as the center of the known universe.

For me personally, I would also miss the stark honesty that I hear at most AA meetings. It’s a level of honesty that I seldom hear in the day to day world, and I find it very refreshing

Sapling

The way I look at it....They are carrying the message to the newcomer like yourself. Wouldn't do you much good to get there and have a room full of people with 3 weeks sober. It's 12th step work...It keeps them sober...I thank God for the ones that were there for me.

Midlifecrisis

I relapsed after 9 years. I can't go to na meetings anymore but I would if I could. I think it's with doing anything and everything you can to stay clean and sober

2granddaughters

Do you have an AA sponsor ?? A great question for him ....

All the best.

Bob R

flutter

I can't answer this as AA isn't part of my recovery, but when I did go to a few meetings at the beginning of my journey, there was a man there who had been going daily for 25 years.. he was one of the happiest people I have ever seen in my life. I never asked the "why" of it, but admittedly it sort of weirded me out a little (concern about 'dependency' or whatnot, didn't want to "have" to be like him..). That's pure personal judgement, I respect whatever people want to do with their lives that makes them healthier and happier, but I was taken aback by it.

aasharon90

I use to be in aw over many members
sitting in AA meetings with years of
recovery and just wanting what they
had. To hear the joy in their voices, to see
the serenity in their faces. So i followed
in their footsteps and a recovery program
that allowed them to be so happy in life.

Then, over the yrs. I would hear how
one or more of those members I admired,
looked up to, patterned my life after had
gone back out to drink, that had died of
suicide.

How in the world, why in the world would
someone with so many yrs sobriety kill
themselves. It's just mind boggling to me.

Then i learned that it's not the quantity of
sobriety that one has but rather the quality
of it. I also learned that there are many reasons
why someone would throw away all that they
live and worked hard for to stay sober. One that
they stopped going to meetings. Stopped working
their program. Thought that after 20 some ought
yrs sober it was safe to drink. One drink wont hurt.

Then to realize they picked up exactly where they
left off in their drinking yrs ago. It is something I
hear time and time again. All those folks that have
some sobriety think it is safe to return to a drink
to only return back in those rooms of recovery
and share with me that no it hasnt changed. Alcohol
is crazy, ripping me apart, destroying my life, and
im on this merry go round once again and cant get
off.

HELP ME PLEASE, cause I cant do this alone.

20 some ought yrs sober and is dead now. How?
Why?

I listen, learn from all those that decide to
experiment with addiction and that keeps
me from making a grave, deadly mistake
myself.

Im still here to share that im sober today
even after 22 yrs. but dont place me on a
pedelstol, because if i were to rest on my
own will with no recovery program incoperating
the tools and knowledge I have learned over
the yrs. they i will surely drink, go crazy or die.

I dont want to do that today. I have a happy,
joyous, honest life rding free in the wind with
my spouse on our Harley seeing the beauty of
the world. Enjoying all the gifts provided to me
and not taking each sober breath I take each
day for granted.

Im here to share what so many sober before me
share with me in early recovery that if I can learn
to stay sober a many one days at a time with a
program of recovery and a Faith from Above to
guide and bless me, then so can you.

It's call HOPE.

freshstart57

AA, as you are being told, is much much more that just a way to stay sober, it is a way of life. The BB says that there is no cure for 'AA alcoholism', merely a 'daily reprieve' that is contingent on some other things, like attending regular and frequent meetings. 'One Day At A Time' is a common theme.

There is also the belief that a more spiritual life is required to replace the dependency on alcohol spirits, and that an equal amount of time needs to be spent daily on AA and incorporating the 12 steps into your daily affairs as was spent drinking.

AA is not a homogeneous body, it's still made up of individuals and their uniqueness, but these are general and common themes and beliefs that you can see repeated here. You can get a good cross section of these beliefs if you pop over to the Alcoholism 12 step support forum.

BruceJ

It's a spiritual paradox thing.

If we want to recieve help, we strive to help others.
To keep it, you have to give it away.
Etc.

Analiticaly (sp?), it make no sense...but the results are undeniable.

All the best.

RobbyRobot

Not wanting a debate in the newcomers forum, but since the theme of the thread is attending meetings, just want to say here that the BB does not say AA sobriety is contingent on attending meetings. AA sobriety is contingent on having a spiritual solution to alcoholism is what is said.

Like others are saying, and is my own experience, giving back at meetings is a wonderful responsibility to embrace. There is nothing else quite like it, imo. I've been to hundreds of meetings simply to be there and be of service to others. Being of service, at meetings and anywhere else, is a corner stone of AA sobriety. There are many ways to give back. Meetings are certainly the easiest way of giving back.


Living the AA Way does not create a dependent need to attend AA meetings. I'm over 31 years successfully AA sober, and I rarely go to meetings. In my first 15 years or so I attended alot. Wonderful times those early years.

Attending meetings are a personal choice, without contigencies, imo, same as attending SR is a choice, as suggested by Dee.

Don't sweat any of this future meeting stuff, Lizard. Be assured that you'll be totally free to choose your attendence at AA meetings and still have an excellent quality of AA sobriety.

Congrats on your early sobriety!! Awesome!

Mark75

I think the "you'll understand" answer is a good one. Because, I think, everyone experiences it slightly differently.

There is the program of AA... 12 steps, spiritual awakening, all that, in the book... and there is the fellowship of AA... the meetings, and more importantly, the service to other alcoholics, helping them helps you.

My observation is that needs are different for different individuals... simple as that. Balance is achieved differently for different people.

The thing about meetings, for me... I like them. I feel a spiritual connection and energy in the rooms of AA. Meetings reinforce the recovery I found in the program of AA. And I enjoy seeing the friends I have made. Occasionally I have the opportunity to work with someone new, who is just getting sober and that helps me stay that way myself.

I don't go everyday, not even every other day... There is a dynamic balance in my life, and if I need more meetings, there are plenty to choose from.

jazzfish

1. There is the 12th step aspect of helping others (and ensuring continuity of the group).
2. There is the need to be reminded of what it was like by working with newcomers.
3. There is the social aspect of belonging to the fellowship.

dedubya

Sazzle nailed it. You can easily get confidence from the voice in your head that you can now do it. Believe me, that doesnt work.
best dub

IndaMiricale

Love all the responses..

For me this simple talker this says it all. AA life is a design for daily living. That mean as long as I breath..

hypochondriac

The way I view is it is that it is contrary to any notion to being 'fixed'. It's one of the things I like most about AA. You do not just do the steps and then you're sorted, off you go, it is something which needs more maintenance than that. I found it a relief in a way.

sugarbear1

I make 1-2 meetings a week.

I had a serious change in me after I worked through the steps the first time and each time after that.... The woman who helped me was in town for 5 days, she took 2 of those days and set them aside to work with me...Memorial Day Sunday and Monday. I had asked her why she would do this and her response is one I embrace today:

"To freely give what was once freely given to me"......Priceless!

I don't know why others go to meetings......