SunnyFlower

What a wonderful Christmas present you are giving yourself! Merry Christmas! and Congratulations on Day 3! :day6

You can do this!

Try to drink lots of water (it will help remove the toxins and rehydrate your body), rest as much as you can and eat a little bit of chocolate (or sweets) to help with the cravings!

Above all...Hang in there! It will get better! So Proud of you!!!

Fandy

Merry Christmas Mrs.L!!
What a wonderful gift you and your husband are giving each other! He didn't have stash of booze for you because he is supporting you. How about that?
It is christmas, you are not hungover, and your head will soon be clear enough to make a long term plan for a happier life. I hope you might join us in the gratitude section, it helps me stay on track to find something to be grateful for each day. Even something as trivial as clean socks or saving $$ by not drinking.
You are doing great, stay with us.:ghug3

Auvers

Hello MrsLamp. You are doing great. I know what you mean about heating the birds song in the morning. That is one of the loveliest things about sobriety, noticing the beauty around you, especially early morning peacefulness and its promise. Keep strong!

MrsLamp

First sober Christmas in about 30 years. Now I just feel very flat, sort of blah if that makes sense. And in the back of mind there is vodka. Just wish it was tomorrow. Seeing family tonight they don't really bother with drink. There will certainly not be anything strong as vodka, so I'll be all right. I wouldn't dream of taking anything weak and not having enough. I am so glad they are not drinkers and suppose they were more aware than we thought growing up around it though it was all very normal (or so we thought then) never missed things involving them, who I am kidding, a couple of incidents came straight to mind then. But they say they had a good childhood. I asked once as I carry a lot of guilt about the things I could have done. Sorry for rambling again. So grateful to be able to get this stuff out my head. I'll probably be here in the wee small hours again, thanks again. xxxx

Fandy

You're bound to feel a little flat, your body is adjusting to much less sugar from no booze. Eat some fresh fruit or a little candy, it will help.

wpainterw

Hi Mrs. Lamp: I can't tell of course but I suspect that you're getting to the point when you may have a much longer, more restful sleep. When that happens you are likely to start feeling much much better. You won't be so nervous and apprehensive or restless. All you have to do is not drink and be patient. Your body will not let you down if you just don't give it any alcohol at all. And do watch about the pink cloud and call your doctor if you need to. Then think about a long term program where you can have companionship of others in recovery. If not AA, then something else. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU! You've just done yourself the biggest Christmas present you've ever had. You've got yourself back. Some folks, perhaps many, never get that far.

W.

TrixMixer

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsLamp;3734438[B

First sober Christmas in about 30 years.

above 2 quotes edited and bolded by TrixMix for space

Merry Christmas Mrs. Lamp,

I have read most of the posts here and the support you are getting is outstanding and it will always be there for you as long as you need it to be.

I bolded a few things to make a point of letting you know:

1--You already have helped people, just by telling your story, and keeping your resolve to stay sober.

2-- Yes a million emotions are going to flood through you, their the ones you hid with alcohol for 30 years, so let them cleanse your system like the sweat pouring off you. It is a good thing.

3-- This is most important. If you have been drinking for 30 years as you have said. Tomorrow morning first thing you Must make an appointment with your doctor. 30 years of alcohol abuse and yellow eyes are a reason for deep concern.You know this if you are in the health field

First and formost is your health and your doctor will be able to guide you through this and perhaps help with meds for your anxiety.

Christmas is a tough day for me since my mom passed so I will be here all day monitoring your posts if you need someone to talk to. Please use me!

By the way---I think that feeling you were not able to describe while looking out you door for the first time sober is called "Pride", and you should feel proud. The first time in 30 years you were able to start the day NOT hungover and on your way to sobriety----Pretty BIG DEAL, wouldn't you say?

Don't for one moment think WE got you to your 3 day mark--we helped---but that journey is yours only to chose to take, and you made that choice, and it is a very courageous one. Congratulations!

Have a wonderful holiday with your family , this year you will be able to savor every moment because of your sobriety!

Here for you!
TrixMixer

MrsLamp

Now I know what is meant by pink cloud. Said I would watch out, so that's why there is an empty vodka bottle lying in the kitchen. Lovely time last night not any alcohol in site except someone innocently mentioned local shop opened every day of the year til 10pm. My twisted brain soon had other half going there on way home for a "beer" cos "I did not want to spoil his Christmas??????)" We had had a nice enough day. DRINK IS AN EVIL DRUG. MRSLAMP IS NOT BEAT! back to feeling like my usual self today sick and in pain, head bursting. I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO FEEL BETTER! I was just going to go away and never come back here but that would be giving up. No way after all the time you amazing people have taken to read and post to me. DAY ONE. xxxx

instant

The physical withdrawal in the first week can be tough even if it mainly agitation, restlessness, mind racing and sleep problems.

These things do settle and it gets easier. The only way is to stop feeding the addiction. Good luck

Fandy

The next time you want to drink, think about how sick you feel. You made it 3 days, you can do this again.
I hope you will address your obvious signs of yellow pallor (i will say the word everyone else has danced around, Jaundice)
You need to visit your doctor and be honest, sooner than later to see what a LFT (liver function test) shows.

wpainterw

Bet you'll get more sleep tonight Mrs. Lamp and feel better tomorrow. Congratulations on all the progress you've made so far and for not giving in. Consider the past three days an investment. Something you don't want to lose. It would be terrible to have to do it all over again. Don't be afraid to see your doctor. The liver has remarkable recuperative powers once the alcohol is removed from the system.

W

Sasha4

When I look back at my sleeping patterns I learned this.


After I had a big binge, I would promise others I would not drink. So would do a couple of nights sober. I was not doing it because I did not want to drink, I was doing it because I wanted family to stop being cross with me.

Those nights I struggled to sleep. I tossed and turned. Now I think it was because I was doing the not drinking for others, not me. It was just for appearances.
To be honest it was no wonder I did not sleep, I went to bed cross, angry and felt deprived of the bucket full of vodka I usually poured down my throat.

When I decided to stop drinking because I wanted to, flipping heck, I have never slept as well. In fact some nights I got 14 hours of deep, coma like sleep! It was amazing!

I think when I wanted to be sober, the healing sleep came to me.
When I did not want it, I convinced myself there would be no way in the world I would sleep and I didn't.

I think the sleep will come for you because you want it.

MrsLamp

If I cannot get to day 4 I will go to the Dr. I know you are all right on that one. Thanks. My eyes were a lot whiter looking yesterday, I looked not bad at all when I was ready to out visiting, then I ruined it. Hopefully there is part of that liver I haven't trashed!

I visited the Dr about 3 months ago maybe more and I listed every symptom under the sun, tired, feeling down, cannot be bothered with anything, told her everything but the truth. Bloods were taken and came back and I was just told they were "fine" or something. Course I suppose that has made me worse and drink more, cos I am definitely not fine.

I will do this thing, Ive had a hint of a better life and I am not letting go no matter how difficult it gets. Now that I have found my new friends here I don't want to leave. I'm very grateful for the support and hope one day I will be of help to newcomers here. love, MrsL. xx

soberlicious

Correct. The only way.

TrixMixer

Mrs. Lamp!

This is for you:
Excerpt from" The Facts about Drinking" Consumer Reports Books by Gail Gleason Milgram, ED.D, and editors Consumer Reports.

Health and Medical Problems:

>pancreatitis (inflamation of the pancreas) and diseases of the digestive system incliding liver problems,acute and chronic gastritis, and peptic ulcers

>heart and vascular problems, especially cardiomyopathy (disorder of the heart muscle) and high blood pressure.

>problems of the central and peripheral nervous systems

>respiratory siseases such as chronic bronchitis, pneumonia, and tuberculosis.

>Not to mention motor vehicle and other accidents

I think you said you were in the medical field, so I know you must know these things. If you have been drinking for 30 years are you really believing alcohol is not hurting you--blood tests and all. Please contact ypour doctor again--3months is a loooooong time when one has been drinking for 30 years.

Just sayin---My opinion Only!!

Fandy

If your doctor did not do a specific panel of Liver Function Tests (LFT) they could not tell you if the enzymes were elevated. GGTP and GGT. You really need to tell them the truth when you go.

congrats on getting back up and being determined to get healthy.

stillhere12

Thank you for your honesty Mrs. L. I'm just getting underway again myself and have read each reply to you as if it was meant for me too. thanks to everyone for your wisdom.
MrsL, I also have been living a lie. i go to work and know one knows that i go home every night, down a bottle of wine while having dinner and then pass out trying to watch a whole movie or show all the way thru. i rarely remember the ending. wake up the next day and do it again. I've had sober years and drunken years. i'm getting older and my body and soul are bone-weary from this insanity.
i need help, too. and support. i just found this web site yesterday and i feel very grateful and blessed.

stillhere12

doctors don't normally run liver tests unless they have a reason to. you'll need to be honest about your drinking and ask. i join the others in suggesting you make that appointment.

MrsLamp

Thank you so much for all for the insights, some things are really hitting home. I am in total denial and the sleep pattern thing makes sense, I am in the admin side of things and I know how it works I am lying to myself and everyone else. stillhere, so glad you found the site as well. We can stop kidding ourselves and do this. Here's to day 2 tomorrow, for us, for our sake not to please everybody. Thanks again all at sr for replies. Be back tomorrow Love MrsL. xx

soberlicious

Actually, you are not lying to yourself. You know the truth. The addicted side of you has been driving the bus, but *you*...the real you...can take the wheel back. Put the pedal to the metal xo