HockeyBabe86

Hi guys! My name is Tosha. A couple of months ago my boyfriend of two years & father of my two sons (even tho one isn't blood) came to me & said he has an addiction to pills. 600+ was missing from the checking account monthly. He had to start smoking his pills in order to chase his high. He went into detox Wens morning & haven't heard from him since. But I know he is in there, he comes home Christmas eve morning. I'm pretty proud/ nervous about this all. I've been clean of meth for 7 years & pot since November 2012. I read all these sorties & have gained a lot from you guys on here. If it wasn't for this site I found a Viole months ago I'd be crazy! Mad crazy I tell you! You are all so strong.for changing/trying to change. I do have a question (sorry if I'm breaking rules or doing this wrong I'm on my tiny ass phone) He gets out on Christmas eve morning, I always go to Tucson with my family & boys. My boyfriend never could make it before because of work. Well what I'm getting at is should I go without him? I don't know how he would be if he cane home to an empty house of no girlfriend & kids. Would it hurt his feelings? I don't want to leave him alone, we'll be gone til after Christmas day. Or would it be a good thing? Time by himself in his place sober for the first time since God knows when? So he can relax? Or would it hurt his feelings? I don't want to make him upset on his first day out. Help please?!

Sapling

Welcome to SR Tosha...Can you talk to him beforehand?

Anna

I agree with Sapling that talking to him beforehand sounds like the best thing to do. Can you do that?

Wifi

From my experience being alone in early sobriety usually doesn't end well... (for me anyhow).

HockeyBabe86

Thank you his! No I can't. I can't get info on him because he didn't put me down as a contact. I only know he is there because of his boss.

HockeyBabe86

He was going to come with us but had to take care of himself importantly

Sapling

You know the situation better than we do....How do you think he'd react to you being gone when he got out?

HockeyBabe86

I think he would be upset to be honest:/

Sapling

I don't think that would be the best thing for someone just coming out of detox....Does he have any other support available?...I can tell you what my main emotion was when I finished detoxing....Fear.

sugarbear1

Take care of you and go!

He didn't bother putting you on the contact list for a reason.

HockeyBabe86

His sister told me he didn't put me on there because hearing me & the boys would make it harder for him. That & I don't have a working phone (had to use my neighbors) But then again who really knows. He doesn't have any other support besides his work. All his family has addictions rather its drinking or drugs or pills. Sebastian who is 4 next month keeps asking where daddy is & our 15 month old walls around saying dada trying to look for him. He's a good family man when he wants to be. If he came home high he'd go straight to bed.

HockeyBabe86

I don't know what that has to do with my question guys lol sorry

Maples

Is his sister on the contact list?

Gringo

From a mans point of view, I say be there for him. He will need you.

artsoul

Welcome HockeyBabe -

Congratulations on your 7 years - that's awesome!

I'm sure it's hard wondering what to do re Christmas. Maybe his sister can ask him (or you could pass a long a message through the treatment center?). Hope it all work out!

HockeyBabe86

His sister, cousin nor best friend is on his contact list. Only his boss is on the list. I do want to be there for him. I told him he needs help before he loses his family. It took him a month to get help. He went to go in last week but he got scared & only came home with a booklet. He's 25. He could have left at any time but he stayed & took on a role of a father. & we had our own kid together. Also when he comes home do I just go about my day like this never happened? The past two Weeks he finally realized what he was doing & how it effected our relationship & family. I can honestly say that me & my family are the first actual people to really care about him. He's never really had his father & mother. They actually used to smoke meth.together. His dad shot himself in the head in 2004 because he couldn't deal with his drinking & drug habits anymore. My boyfriend was living from state to state with his at the time best friends family since he was 15.

HockeyBabe86

Thank you! I have tried but they can't say he'll get it because they can't say he's there in the program or not. Which I find very odd only because I have his kids you know?

HockeyBabe86

Thanks for listening & giving your input guys!. He got a hold of me this morning & wants us to be home & he wants to go to Tucson. I was right & you guys too. He sounds so much better, I could tell in how he tasked. He says he's doing better Thank you guys <3

HockeyBabe86

*talked.