My drinking is getting out of hand
 

So i did it again. Got absolutely trashed and made an idiot of myself. $500 poorer (on just booze) and a night in hospital with a leg injury. Really asking myself what ive gained here.

Im only 20, and have had alcohol and drug issues since 16, but never sought help. Through 2011, i was smoking more than an oz of marijuana per week, often 2. I decided in the new year that it had to stop, i had gone from a sporty competitive swimmer to a jobless couch zombie. It was hard, but kicked that completely, along with various pill habits.


The last year, my drinking has been on the increase massively. Its taking a toll on my health and weight bigtime, and increased my cigarette smoking tenfold. I manage to hold down a good job, though is dangerous at times due to the nature of it, and my hangovers at work have put me in danger multiple times, including a 5m fall from a scaffold platform, which somehow recieved no injury and no one else saw.

Sometimes I have good weeks, and wont touch it through the week, but I cannot remember the last weekend I spent sober. And i often spend weeks at a time drinking every night.

The big problems arise when I go out. I allways have great intentions, to spend and drink x amount but after a couple, i drink like an fish.
Lately, I have been getting violent. This is the biggest worry. Ive never been a violent person. and im a big boy, no one should have to contend with a big drunken idiot. Its not that i go out deliberately looking for trouble, i just have no self control, i could be having a happy drunken conversation and the slightest thing will set me off. And I usually dont remember it.

About 1/2 of the social drinking events ive been to this year I have been "that guy", that gets messed up and causes a scene. I dont want to be that guy.

So yeah, its out, I have a problem.

That's step number one taken then.

I used to lash out and I think that's because at some point you realise you are "that guy" and making an arse of yourself, then all someone has to do is crack a joke you don't get, you think they're taking the **** out of you and then boom.

Hi Benc. Welcome. You will find lots of support and inspiration here to not drink. Its not easy, but it is worth it.

Hi and welcome Ben

I found SR was very good at reminding me I had a problem.....gave me a few other ideas about what to do too - I hope we can help you as well :)

D

Hi Ben,

Admitting you have a problem is sometimes the hardest part. It sounds like you are no longer in denial about your drinking and other habbits having a negative impact on your health and your life in general. Have you tried AA or any other recovery program like SMART / AVRT or Moderation Management? I have personally had much success working a recovery program that fits my recovery goals and lifestyle. Everyone is different, what works for me might not be for you, but I know for certain that it's quite difficult to do this alone. Addicts and alcoholics love to think we can just take care of things ourselves, but there are times when reaching out and asking for some help face to face with another person who has successfully beat this affliction is paramount.

I encourage you to keep returning here for support and to look at some of those. Just an idea if you haven't tried already. Also talking to a doctor can be great if the doctor has experience with what you're dealing with. Best of luck to you. You're not alone out there.

Ben, it sounds like you know what you need to do to take care of yourself. It's great that you made the first step by coming here and seeking support. We do understand how hard this is.

Welcome benc!

Glad you're here and your drinking sounds similar to mine including making an @ss out of myself.

You are young and intelligent to make the decision to toss the booze. It took me several decades to do so and I lost many jobs, relationships, etc.

There's a great world out there being sober and having a handle on your life. PLUS! There's a great thread for those of us that gave up drinking this month. Please join us in the December Class:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Welcome Ben,

Coming on here and admitting you have a problem is definitely the first step. Spend some time reading and posting, you will find great support from people who are there or have been there.
:)

Welcome to the family - it's so good you joined us. You aren't alone - we all get how you're feeling. We've been there and understand. For me that was a huge help when I first joined here. I had no one else to talk to about it - everyone was a social drinker and didn't know why I couldn't just have 'a few' without getting trashed.

At only 20, it's very hard to come to this conclusion - I think you should be proud of yourself for reaching out. I tried to manage my drinking myself, and ended up with a ruined life. This won't be you, benc. :)

Admission of the problem is great.

It is hard to get that far, the rest of the journey is rocky, but it is worth it.

Go to a meeting, it's the best advice.

I never thought I'd sit at a table with people saying, "Hi, I'm an alcoholic." But then they didn't think they were alcoholics either and that's what is so great about it.

Welcome to the greatest club everyone loves and nobody wants to join.

Welcome Benc- Glad you found SR

Good job taking the first step!!! Your story sounds a lot like my son's... He's 20 and just got sober on Saturday... It took him 6 years to admit he had a problem. That is a BIG first step. Him and I have been going to meetings together... It's been great, and I hope it sticks... I wish you the best and we are here for you if you need to talk... I've had years of sobriety and now just days but it is definately worth being sober. It's not easy but it can be done if you do the work.

My problem now, is how to approach it. My life has been revolved around "getting wasted" in some shape or form for quite sometime now. Every social outing I am at thats all that goes on, i dont know anything else.

Ive just got to kick this stupidity, ive burned soo many irrepairable bridges already, and have lost alot of mates over this ****. Ive put on 15kg ( 33lb) this year, relating to drinking + poor eating habbits due to being too wasted to cook etc. Bloody ridiculous. Ive gone as far as picking fights with good friends, who are just trying to help me out because im in a state. You really learn who your true friends are, I have put them all through hell and they have stuck around.

Maybe shifting towns will give me a new lease on life, it really is a drinking culture here.