Natom

Days like today are the reason I only live one day at a time. Obviously compared to my using days this is absolutely nothing. This would have merely been a trivial matter back then but now it feels like everything has been emphasised a bit.

I woke up at 8.54am this morning. I was due into work at 9am. My phone had fallen off the charger and all my alarms had somehow cancelled themselves. I had to phone up work and let them know I was going to be late. And because I live in an area where public transport is absolutely rubbish it took me an hour to get there despite the fact I only live 2 miles away. I'm trying to make a good impression at work and although they were ok with me being late I felt it chip away at me a bit.

And then today at work I was given a pack of chocolates (which was nice) and an envelope containing a scratchcard. Although gambling was not my primary addiction I messed around with it for a short period of time with very destructive consequences. To be honest it kinda messed me up a bit. Like someone handing me an envelope full of cocaine. I didn't quite know what to do. Said thank you, text my sponsor and then let my dad do it when I got home.

And then...I had some of my savings transferred to my bank account for christmas shopping and my little pin device blocked my card. So I phoned a call centre in India and I will get a new pin in 5 working days....which means after christmas. Luckily I can borrow some money to get my gifts but you know it was the final nail in the coffin of today.

I'm sorry this is a bit rantish and all jumbled but I survived the temptation and got through today in small blocks. And tomorrow is a new day. Apparently we are all gonna die but you know if we do I can go down clean and sober with a bit of pride.

Natom.

ARTEMIS

Hang in there honey. You have done so well. :ghug3

Dee74

I'm sorry for your day Tom - but you got through it...I think that's the main thing

D

pipparina

we all have days like this. Hang in there. They pass. Sometimes I just find myself hunkering down to get through it. Then the sun shines again and all is right with the world.

Valll

Dear Natom,

You are a born survivor from what I have read over the past x months and I think it is high time that you joined all the lovely people over in the Whiners Forum :>)

(check it out)

breath

Hey, we all have these days, and a pat on the back to us all for coming together and sharing. When this holiday passes, you'll reflect on the gift of these troubles and have come through them a better, and happily sober, human! Happy Holidays :ghug3

MIRecovery

My sponsor would tell me, "Sorry you have such high class problems." You have a phone, you have a job, you have a bank account with money in it, you have someone that trusts you enough to loan you money, you are smart enough to know the ticket is not a good idea.

Sorry but those are high class problems that many would love to have.

Natom

My higher power must love me...giving me all these tests. I knew that MI. I just needed someone to knock me off my pity pot. Thanks

Natom.

MIRecovery

My sponsor has knocked me off of my pity pot more than once. I can instantly go to the negative and completely lose sight of all of my blessing in my life. I have written more than one gratitude list for him.

Hated every minute of it but it was just what I needed.

Hevyn

Hoping tomorrow's a brighter day, Natom. Glad you came here to talk about it.