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Old 12-20-2012, 01:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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To My fellow SR Members...


I post here a fair amount, mostly replies. I donít start a lot of threads. Thought it was time for one. There has been a little more contention than usual on the boards, more ruffled feathers it seems. I tend to forget how sensitive emotions are in the newly recovered, how easy feelings are hurt. So Iíve been reflecting about the tone of my posts and trying to determine if Iím in any way contributing to the disharmony.

Probably. Iíve been sober over two years and at times can be quite self-righteous about my recovery and defensive of the path Iíve taken to attain it. That has to carry over to my replies. Still, with almost 2000 posts, I only regret hitting submit on a handful of them. That doesnít mean I canít do better, so I want to apologize for following reasons:

I am only an expert in my own recovery. However, that hasnít prevented me from trying to be an expert in yours.

For that, Iím sorry.

Writing on a forum is a very one-sided form of communication, fraught with misinterpretation. What is written as an admonishment is often read as a reprimand. There is also a thin line between advice and criticism and I blunder over it all the time.

For that, Iím sorry.

When I drank I always thought I was the smartest drunk in the room. That appears to still be my failing. Because even though I post to help other people in recovery, too often I post to impress myself with my own brilliance. Thatís not likely to help your recovery.

For that, Iím sorry.

But Iím not sorry about the time I devote to SR. Itís fulfilling to me to think that in some small measure I am helping someone. And coming here helps me stay on the path of sobriety.

For that, I'm thankful.
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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DGCarl, Well said and I am guilty as charged and for that I am sorry too. Humility has never been one of my strong points but at least today I know I can be a pompous A$$ instead of arguing how right I am.
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Nice thread doggone. You do spend a lot of time here and I am sure you have helped so many people so keep on.

I also find that my posts sometimes do not come across as I wish because you cannot convey a tone in type. Its the foilbles and the wonder of the interent age
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you for your thoughtful thread, doggone. I guess some of us newbies are sensitive & some old-timers can seem a bit harsh on our fragile nerves. I know we're all coming from an extreme place of need which makes feelings strong. I appreciate even the perspectives I can't relate to/don't want to hear.

You are helping. Thanks for you & everyone here on SR! You'll be on my morning gratitude list tomorrow!
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Old 12-20-2012, 01:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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We all can have that here. Typing things can really come across different than you mean, and things just do happen. Sobriety is a emotional thing and we all can easily say and do things that we didnt mean.. Or think throu.

Thats why were here, we were , are , broken in some aspect. But all can relate to each other in the dieases of additction..

Your a great asset to SR. Thank you for you posts..

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Old 12-20-2012, 01:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Beautiful! Your stock was high before....but it just went up in my book. Thanks, doggonecarl!
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Old 12-20-2012, 02:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
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^ seconded. Thanks Carl

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Old 12-20-2012, 02:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I have always appreciated and read your posts Carl...and I am quite picky ;>)

We all make mistakes with no malice intended. Carry on being you x
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Old 12-20-2012, 02:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I happen to appreciate the realism you inject into SR. There are all kinds of people. Our individual personalities certainly bleed through our words. But your caringness can never be doubted. Or your honesty in wanting to see other with 2 years as well.

I often find I like to hear myself type. Sometimes it really is for me and for the right reasonings. Others it's to be creative in my expression of this journey. Yet others I get annoyed at the poster.

For what ever reason we post .... I am glad you do.

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Old 12-20-2012, 03:00 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thank you, Carl. How unselfish of you to put it out there that way. Not an easy thing to do.
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Old 12-20-2012, 03:08 PM   #12 (permalink)
 

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Different strokes for different folks. That's what I like about SR, there are all kinds of responses, personalities, approaches...Some people are fluffy, some are gruff...no matter, I think everyone's aim is the same; to help another in pain find the light. I don't think there is one "right" way to respond to someone. I rather prefer a matter of fact, no nonsense personality, a dry wit...where others do not respond well to that at all. It's the same reason Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors.
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Old 12-20-2012, 03:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Doggonecarl

Your comments have been thoughtful and helpful.
Thanks

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Old 12-20-2012, 03:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Gee, lots of peeps drunk or sober are like the way you said you used to be!
Sensitivity to sick people is important, granted, but we are all only human, and can only try.
It takes some of us much longer than others (I'm 70).... a slow learner, but better late than never.
WE are all to a large degree responsible for our selves IMO BUT SOME HELP AND KINDNESS FROM OTHERS NEVER GOES ASTRAY.
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Old 12-20-2012, 03:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Carl,

I've been sober just over two years. You were one of the first people to post to me. I posted something about how does one stop drinking, you replied have I tried to just not drink. At first I was a bit miffed I guess "that's all you got for me buddy?". . . but it was an honest response. And I did just that, I stopped drinking. I shopped around a bit and tried AA and RR and SMART and kept posting here. And I stayed sober by not drinking.

So keep up the good work. Keep posting how AA helped you and I'll keep posting what worked for me . . . It takes all kinds.
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Carl, your thoughtful posts have been some of the most helpful to me. Don't be too hard on yourself, ok? You're a valuable and caring member of this community.
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:24 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I've always loved your posts on here Doggonecarl You have a way of cutting through the crap/ getting to the point in a way which I think few would be offended by. I think that is really needed here x
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:38 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Plus 1 I love ur posts too
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:53 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I've always enjoyed your posts.....plus you have a very cute lab avitar
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Very well stated.....you have helped me.
I am as guilty as anybody else.
We never stop learning & growing.....that is life
I personally thank you for your contributions.
It's the diversity that makes SR beautiful.
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