kiwi1971

I just read a post "Sharing sober joy" from escapist who shared his experience going out and not drinking. I found it quite uplifting and inspirational, and think many people are afraid that going out when they are not drinking is not as much as as when you are.

I would love to hear stories from people that felt better about going out in social situations where they ended up having a better time than if they had gone out drinking.

Thanks
Andrew

MIRecovery

For years the primary purpose of going out was to drink. It is so nice not to have to worry about alcohol. How much you can drink without people watching you. Sneaking to the bar for more, tiping the bartender for triple shots. Enhaling a drink at the bar and returning to the table. Have more than your share of the wine.

I can concentrate on love and friendship. To enjoy the meal and the surrondings. Engage in meaningful conversation instead of all the light BS or drunken rants.

Xune

Speaking only for myself...

I go out much less, as going out in the past was an excuse to drink.

Going to a bar/ pub is not as fun. So I really don't go to bars.

Do I still have fun going out? Yes.

What I really like is doing everyday stuff during the day and not being hung over or half in the bag.

Everything is better sober.

Natom

I do have more fun but it is a bit of a mixed bag really. I go out an awful lot less, mainly because I can't afford it. Considering my doc was cocaine I am kinda confused as to why I can never afford to go out for meals or to the theatre. However when I do go out it is normally a lot better than whenever I went out in my using days. Not having to pop into a toilet every 30 minutes or make extra trips to my dealer is an added bonus. Also when I am around drunk or influenced people I seem to find that I can handle everything a lot better.

Natom.

Happier

I do not go out as much either. Bars, parties, concerts, etc do not hold the appeal that they once did. I think that they were simply acceptable reasons for me to drink way to much. However, (and it's a big HOWEVER).........I am starting to love life again. Even the simple things. Things like just going out for even a simple dinner with my wife. Sober family get togethers for things truly worth celebrating. Being able to workout with my wife anytime during the day or night. I also now enjoy and appreciate just waking up to another peaceful day. Working on my chore or hobby list. Interacting with others while having a clear head.
I wouldn't trade one of these good and peaceful days for any amount of "going out" like I used to.
Just my opinion though. I'm sure many still like going out and can be healthy and happy doing it. I admire them.

Mcribb

I don't belong in a bar anymore. I do have fun at concerts and going out to eat. I am adjusting to to the new lifestyle as I was used to going out and really meeting a ton of new people ALL OF THE TIME. I refuse to have a pity party, but it is definately a change from once going out and being out all night and now to just attempting to enjoy gone with the wind. on DvD

Dee74

I don't go out as much either - I discovered I really am a homebody, but I went out for years because of drinking opportunities, and because I didn't like to be with myself too much....

when I do go out tho - yeah I have fun - no falls, no embarrassments, I'm really listening and part of the conversation...I remember it all too

D

FreeFall

I still go out, and I still have fun, it's just a different kind of fun I guess. It's not wild and silly anymore, which honestly, I do miss sometimes, but not worth the trade for the good things sobriety brings.

Jeni26

Well I didn't go out with anyone who might drink to excess for the first few months at all.
But...I've braved a couple of events now with my old drinking crowd and yeah I had fun. Made my excuses to leave when the evening inevitably deteriorated into that messy emotional drunken behaviour and it actually did me good to get out again.
I laughed and engaged with everyone and was glad I went.
I won't deliberately choose to be around drinking even now, but if there's a good reason for me to be there then I will go. I'm always very happy to get back home to a cup of tea afterwards though!!

CAPTAINZING2000

I have more fun waking up in the morning and not having to post bail

TheLostXanadu

As a person who has been sober usually from 3 days to 3 months, I can say that I've never gotten to the point where "going out" sober did, on some objective level, inspire the same euphoria, confidence, optimism, etc., as going out high/drunk (stoned, doing lines off the toilet paper dispenser, pounding pints of mircrobrews). I doubt that the sober experience can ever equal the high/drunk experience.

For myself, the only thing I can really do is avoid going out. This means turning off my phone, relocating to a coffee shop that is open late, and just reading. It's a different sort of good feeling, but's a good feeling nonetheless. It's impossible to say whether one is "better" than the other; I just say they're different.

One of my best friends in the recovery community is able to go out to the bars sober and hang with friends who are drinking. Whether he is truly having fun or not, I don't know, but he does it. He even came to my 21-run (while he was sober and I was beginning my alcoholism).

Meh. I dunno.

flutter

I don't go out that much either, or if I do it isn't to social events that involve drinking. Rarely I'll join my coworkers for an after work "happy hour" and I eat food, have conversation.. very few of them have more than one drink and it usually lasts for an hour. Once people start catching a buzz I'm usually out of there, it's a reminder to me of how ridiculous I would act and the spiral I would travel down for the rest of the night/days following something like that. I wouldn't have gone to happy hours (I go like 3x a year) in my first couple of years of sobriety though.

My new friends compliment my sober life, they aren't drinkers, I don't think I have seen any of them drunk, ever. I spend a LOT of time with family, my 3 year old, I have great coherent conversations with my husband, my brother. I'm sort of a homebody now, outside of family events, parks, the occasional dinner out.

NEOMARXIST

For me it's all about expectations. I had to accept that events would be vastly different as a non-drinker to a drinker, that's not to say any worse, just different. If I approached a party and compared it to a party when I was drinking and railing coke lines in the kitchen then that would not be a fair comparisson. I think it's always important to remember why one has reached the point where they want to get sober and so the events can't have been that good etc.

I never use the word better to describe my sober experiences such as party's, gigs etc instead I find them more fulfilling, rewarding and leave a positive impression and the real me is remembered rather than some chemically altered version!

Peace

sugarbear1

I go out with other sober people. We laugh a lot and I can remember the jokes the next day!

TTBABP

Wow- so what did my last binge on NOvember 30. Thanks for the reminder.