Fired & Lost
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 577
so great that you reached out, Fallon....
change is always uncomfortable and hard for me. it really IS an opportunity though. you have a lot of time to work on your recovery now. when you get to wherever this is leading you, it will make sense. for now, just follow the suggestions above, ask for help when you need it. check in with other sober people if you get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
change is always uncomfortable and hard for me. it really IS an opportunity though. you have a lot of time to work on your recovery now. when you get to wherever this is leading you, it will make sense. for now, just follow the suggestions above, ask for help when you need it. check in with other sober people if you get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by SoberFallon 
Thank you for all the kind words and great advice. It helps to ease the hurt and sting I feel in my heart right now.
Spoke to my sponsor who was kind but kicked my ass in her own special way. She doesn't feel I'm working strong enough on my recovery. I'm on medical leave (although, now that I'm technically unemployed that's not true anymore) and in outpatient treatment 3x a week. Fortunately the company will continue my medical coverage January 25th so I can still finish treatment. No paychecks but at least the outpatient costs will be covered.
I have not gone to the liquor store. I want a drink, but I don't want to drink. If that makes any sense? I know that no good will come of it and I just can't allow myself to go to that awful place. I can be sad and depressed all on my own, I don't really need a toxic substance helping me out
I know there is much to be done. I need to cancel everything and anything that isn't truly necessary. I need to file for unemployment, work on my resume, call creditors, etc. It's all a bit much to deal with right now. I had been doing so well since last Thursday that I just hate to be in absolute fear right now.
I will pray, try to breath and just try to keep moving forward.
Again, I can't tell you all how much your words, support and advice mean to me. Without you & SR I'm sure I'd be half in the bag by now!
Spoke to my sponsor who was kind but kicked my ass in her own special way. She doesn't feel I'm working strong enough on my recovery. I'm on medical leave (although, now that I'm technically unemployed that's not true anymore) and in outpatient treatment 3x a week. Fortunately the company will continue my medical coverage January 25th so I can still finish treatment. No paychecks but at least the outpatient costs will be covered.
I have not gone to the liquor store. I want a drink, but I don't want to drink. If that makes any sense? I know that no good will come of it and I just can't allow myself to go to that awful place. I can be sad and depressed all on my own, I don't really need a toxic substance helping me out
I know there is much to be done. I need to cancel everything and anything that isn't truly necessary. I need to file for unemployment, work on my resume, call creditors, etc. It's all a bit much to deal with right now. I had been doing so well since last Thursday that I just hate to be in absolute fear right now.
I will pray, try to breath and just try to keep moving forward.
Again, I can't tell you all how much your words, support and advice mean to me. Without you & SR I'm sure I'd be half in the bag by now!
Very very nice... Just don't drink no matter what!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Might not be a bad idea to take a note pad and pen to a local cafe. Linger over a cup of coffee or a herbal tea or something and make a list of things that you can practically do today to deal with the immediate aftermath of losing your job and perhaps more importantly, what you can you do to bolster your sobriety. You might find the extra time on your hands give you a chance to help other people in a way you didn't expect.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi Fallon,
I am sorry you lost your job, I am sure that is devastating to deal with. However, you should feel proud that in an extremely stressful situation you chose to log onto SR.
There was a lot of great advice already posted. Take a day or so to breathe, regroup and come up with a p,an for finding a new job you will love, as well as a plan to help you stay sober. They may have some resources at the outpatient program yo are attending.
I am sorry you lost your job, I am sure that is devastating to deal with. However, you should feel proud that in an extremely stressful situation you chose to log onto SR.
There was a lot of great advice already posted. Take a day or so to breathe, regroup and come up with a p,an for finding a new job you will love, as well as a plan to help you stay sober. They may have some resources at the outpatient program yo are attending.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Hang in there! I'm not just blowing smoke up your skirt, and I'm not saying everything will be instantly great. I'm just saying if you can stay sober things can get better. And no matter how bad things are at the moment you could always make them worse by drinking.
You're doing well! Just wanting to add my well wishes.
You're doing well! Just wanting to add my well wishes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I hope you are feeling better this morning. You can file for unemployment on line and they may have some listings for your profession.
I'm a big list person too, if you see it in front of you, you might feel more organized.
I'm a big list person too, if you see it in front of you, you might feel more organized.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Seems to me a lesson in how alcohol makes us powerless and spins our lives way out of control in ways we cannot predict .
Certainly a hard lesson but one you can either choose to turn into a reason to drink or you can choose it for a reason to never drink again .
I know for me i accept i'm and alcoholic and can never drink again if i don't want the wheels of my life to fall off .
You've taken a punch but that is no reason to fall all the way to the bottom, use this as an oppertunity to learn and start building yourself a wonderful new sober job and life .
Bestwishes , M
Certainly a hard lesson but one you can either choose to turn into a reason to drink or you can choose it for a reason to never drink again .
I know for me i accept i'm and alcoholic and can never drink again if i don't want the wheels of my life to fall off .
You've taken a punch but that is no reason to fall all the way to the bottom, use this as an oppertunity to learn and start building yourself a wonderful new sober job and life .
Bestwishes , M
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
Posts: 211
This is all I can say to all of you: YOU ROCK!
Made it through the night and actually slept well. Crying tends to tucker me out. I did not drink and I'm so grateful to wake without a hangover.
I was literally a step away from death with this last relapse. If I drink, there won't be almost death but actual death. I do not want to go there. So even though getting trashed seems appealing to deal with this in the short-term, I know that no good will come from it.
I love the idea of creating a list. I'm definitely overwhelmed with all I need to do. I will make a list and really think that will help break it all down.
My sponsor and I are going to back to the beginning. I stalled on Step 9. No big surprise....I wasn't ready to make amends. But now I'm willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober. That's got to be my number 1 priority.
So today will be filled with filing for unemployment, cancelling my cable because I can't afford it, updating my resume, going to a meeting and praying.....whew...I'm already tired from thinking about it all.
If you don't mind I'll lean on all of you quite a bit right now. ALL of you provide me with such comfort, advice, love and support. And I honestly thank you for it.
Made it through the night and actually slept well. Crying tends to tucker me out. I did not drink and I'm so grateful to wake without a hangover.
I was literally a step away from death with this last relapse. If I drink, there won't be almost death but actual death. I do not want to go there. So even though getting trashed seems appealing to deal with this in the short-term, I know that no good will come from it.
I love the idea of creating a list. I'm definitely overwhelmed with all I need to do. I will make a list and really think that will help break it all down.
My sponsor and I are going to back to the beginning. I stalled on Step 9. No big surprise....I wasn't ready to make amends. But now I'm willing to do ANYTHING to stay sober. That's got to be my number 1 priority.
So today will be filled with filing for unemployment, cancelling my cable because I can't afford it, updating my resume, going to a meeting and praying.....whew...I'm already tired from thinking about it all.
If you don't mind I'll lean on all of you quite a bit right now. ALL of you provide me with such comfort, advice, love and support. And I honestly thank you for it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Springdale, AR
Posts: 4
Hi Fallon,
I hear you. I have been feeling that way the last few days myself. I have been sober 14-15 days, not sure. I lost count. I am also unemployed and I cannot seem to find work. Sometimes God closes a door and opens a window. Have you applied for unemployment? I understand how much it hurts and the timing is perfect to get you back on the bottle. Do you ever wonder why these things happen when you are doing so good? I do, but I have to keep on going. Just because you lost your job does not make you a bad person. You are a hero. You have made a wonderful decision and good things will come your way.Please feel free to email me when u feel this way. I have fought it for several days because I am no longer taking anything to curb the cravings. It is so worth it though. Everyday, I look in the mirror and the old Ginger is coming back. I never realized how poisonous alcohol is to our system. I feel my body changing in so many ways.
Maybe you need this time to recoup and focus on your recovery. Go to meetings, window shop, whatever it takes to get your mind off of of alcohol. I use mental images to help me. Whenever I think of alcohol, I can clearly see a bottle with a poisonous sign on the front. That is just one way I get through. Good Luck@!
I hear you. I have been feeling that way the last few days myself. I have been sober 14-15 days, not sure. I lost count. I am also unemployed and I cannot seem to find work. Sometimes God closes a door and opens a window. Have you applied for unemployment? I understand how much it hurts and the timing is perfect to get you back on the bottle. Do you ever wonder why these things happen when you are doing so good? I do, but I have to keep on going. Just because you lost your job does not make you a bad person. You are a hero. You have made a wonderful decision and good things will come your way.Please feel free to email me when u feel this way. I have fought it for several days because I am no longer taking anything to curb the cravings. It is so worth it though. Everyday, I look in the mirror and the old Ginger is coming back. I never realized how poisonous alcohol is to our system. I feel my body changing in so many ways.
Maybe you need this time to recoup and focus on your recovery. Go to meetings, window shop, whatever it takes to get your mind off of of alcohol. I use mental images to help me. Whenever I think of alcohol, I can clearly see a bottle with a poisonous sign on the front. That is just one way I get through. Good Luck@!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 75
I was fired 3 months ago for a mistake that was not of my making on a large project our company was working on. They chose not to fire the Director responsible and instead decided to throw me under the bus.
I went to the lawyers, fought for my rights and got an acceptable settlement to keep me and my family going for 3 months. It was a tough time and it further drained my optimism in humanity.
So, I thought what better time to pack in the booze. The signs were there on paper for me to sink into despair and drink to oblivion which I slowly started to do in those first few weeks. Then I woke up, smelt the coffee and said to myself - if this is as bad as it gets, then quitting during this time will prove to myself that I can remain quit afterwards.
So that's where I am, no sign of a job as yet, but plugging away. I know something will come up - I'll make sure one way or the other it does. Now with a clear head, I know the future is bright.
I went to the lawyers, fought for my rights and got an acceptable settlement to keep me and my family going for 3 months. It was a tough time and it further drained my optimism in humanity.
So, I thought what better time to pack in the booze. The signs were there on paper for me to sink into despair and drink to oblivion which I slowly started to do in those first few weeks. Then I woke up, smelt the coffee and said to myself - if this is as bad as it gets, then quitting during this time will prove to myself that I can remain quit afterwards.
So that's where I am, no sign of a job as yet, but plugging away. I know something will come up - I'll make sure one way or the other it does. Now with a clear head, I know the future is bright.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Whenever something bad happens I try to remind myself that "everything happens for a reason". I know that sounds cliche, but it has helped me get through really tough times to remind myself that nothing is an accident and one day I'll look back and say "wow if you told me back then that this would come out of that horrible day I would have never believed you".
Make your list and get through it at a pace you are comfortable with
If you keep trying, who knows, you might find an even better job. Or maybe, this time off will be just what you needed for your sobriety. We never know what will come in the future, but as long as we stay diligent, we will get through to the other side.
Focus on yourself, and keep working with your sponsor By the way, I admire your strength to stay on the right path even with losing your job. I pray that if I come across something hard in the near future that I will have your strength.
Make your list and get through it at a pace you are comfortable with
If you keep trying, who knows, you might find an even better job. Or maybe, this time off will be just what you needed for your sobriety. We never know what will come in the future, but as long as we stay diligent, we will get through to the other side.Focus on yourself, and keep working with your sponsor
By the way, I admire your strength to stay on the right path even with losing your job. I pray that if I come across something hard in the near future that I will have your strength.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Sorry about the job loss Fallen.
I experienced the same thing just a couple days before I jumped on the sobriety wagon. The devastating news forced me into drinking to oblivion and I finally snapped out of it and came here.
These last couple weeks I had found a new venture online that will payout big bucks over time. Until the big payday, I will move forward, sober, and take my best shot at it.
You should get unemployment benefits that will carry you through until a better opportunity comes knocking on your door.
If I may ask, what type of work do you do?
I experienced the same thing just a couple days before I jumped on the sobriety wagon. The devastating news forced me into drinking to oblivion and I finally snapped out of it and came here.
These last couple weeks I had found a new venture online that will payout big bucks over time. Until the big payday, I will move forward, sober, and take my best shot at it.
You should get unemployment benefits that will carry you through until a better opportunity comes knocking on your door.
If I may ask, what type of work do you do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
Posts: 211
Cat, I've worked as a real estate paralegal for the world's largest REIT company for the past 15 years. This loss sucks because I loved that job and all the people I worked with.
I filed for unemployment this morning. Unfortunately, it takes at least 3 weeks to process...that sucks. I hated filling it out because once again I had to give a reason for my termination. I had to once again admit I lied. Although it was hard, and I admit I was tempted to fib, I told the truth. I am so done hiding behind the deceit and lies I created while drinking.
Now I have to tackle updating my resume. Also need to cancel any and all services that aren't needed. It's the best I can do right now.
I filed for unemployment this morning. Unfortunately, it takes at least 3 weeks to process...that sucks. I hated filling it out because once again I had to give a reason for my termination. I had to once again admit I lied. Although it was hard, and I admit I was tempted to fib, I told the truth. I am so done hiding behind the deceit and lies I created while drinking.
Now I have to tackle updating my resume. Also need to cancel any and all services that aren't needed. It's the best I can do right now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Central New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,345
Fallon - I do not envy you right now. You have a lot to handle but after a good night's sleep you seem to have a great plan and have it under control. Keep up the good sober work you're gonna have to be in top shape to pound the pavement. I have evervy confidence that things will work out - just takes hard work and patience.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Hi SoberFallon,
I haven't read this entire thread, so I may be asking something someone has already asked. Why did you get fired? Were you drinking at the time? What is the timeline?
I'm sorry to hear of your discomfiture. Life is a trip for sure. I'm not going to give you false hope, but I--among others here--do care. One thing you can be assured of is that you're not alone.
My best wishes to you.
I haven't read this entire thread, so I may be asking something someone has already asked. Why did you get fired? Were you drinking at the time? What is the timeline?
I'm sorry to hear of your discomfiture. Life is a trip for sure. I'm not going to give you false hope, but I--among others here--do care. One thing you can be assured of is that you're not alone.
My best wishes to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
Posts: 211
Renaldo, I was fired for false information I gave to my boss for being late one morning in November. I told him that I had a doctor's appointment when in fact I was so hungover I couldn't function for a few hours so I slept in, drank a ton of Gatorade and finally made it to work at 11:45am. The company had put me on probation in October for excessive absenteeism.
Yes, I was drinking at the time. Not during work hours but consuming a great deal in the evenings and weekends.
Bottom line is I caused this to happen. I could blame it on alcohol but I won't do that. It was my behavior that caused this company to cut me loose. It hurts like hell because I was an exceptional employee who never called off work in 15 years. This latest relapse brought me to my knees. Calling off work because I was either still drunk or hungover, always telling lies and not working up to my potential.
I'm trying to remain as positive as I can. It's difficult but being drunk isn't going to help me. Sure, I have no money to pay any bills. But if I drink, I'd be drunk and still not have any money to pay bills.
Yes, I was drinking at the time. Not during work hours but consuming a great deal in the evenings and weekends.
Bottom line is I caused this to happen. I could blame it on alcohol but I won't do that. It was my behavior that caused this company to cut me loose. It hurts like hell because I was an exceptional employee who never called off work in 15 years. This latest relapse brought me to my knees. Calling off work because I was either still drunk or hungover, always telling lies and not working up to my potential.
I'm trying to remain as positive as I can. It's difficult but being drunk isn't going to help me. Sure, I have no money to pay any bills. But if I drink, I'd be drunk and still not have any money to pay bills.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 33
You are NOT alone! We have all felt how you are feeling right now. Just try to relax & let these feeling pass. They WILL pass. Look at all these caring responses you got, even though we are all far away from each other, we are all in this "life thing" together. DON'T DRINK!
Watch a funny movie
Eat something yummy
Play some music
Take a good long hot shower
Make an apt to see a Dr ASAP
Go outside
Watch a funny movie
Eat something yummy
Play some music
Take a good long hot shower
Make an apt to see a Dr ASAP
Go outside
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