missalchy

I'm 22 years old & have never considered myself an alcoholic, but I tend to get VERY aggressive & hateful when drunk. I have an amazing boyfriend of 2 years, but almost the whole time we've been together I've gone crazy on him while drunk. I've said the most HORRIBLE things & it's even gotten violent. Usually happens when we go on vacation, spend tons of money & then I always end up ruining it. When I'm w/my friends, I'll get drunk & black out, but not angry & violent. I always felt I was aggressive w/my poor, sweet boyfriend because he didn't like when I drank. But recently, I got in an angry, hateful fight with my sister while drunk.

I've tried to stop drinking several times, but I always quit & think I can control it (switch to beer&wine only, limit myself to 1 to 2 drinks, etc). The truth is, once I have a couple drinks, there's no turning back. It's been a huge struggle because I feel I'm too young to quit drinking since that's all my friends do when we go out! I feel if I stop, I won't have a life anymore When I'm sober, I'm the complete opposite of my drunk self.. I know I need to stop but a voice in my head still keeps telling me I can figure out how to control it. Anyone going through the same struggle?

Dee74

Hi and welcome

I actually think the process is the same at any age...I was 40 when I quit but I was still living the same life I had at 25.

First I had to admit there was a problem....then I had to accept that alcohol was the root of that problem and always would be....and then I had to find the willingness to change my life.

The change is hard - everyone in my life drank, and my entire life, not just my social life, revolved around drinking.

But..it was destroying me. If I wanted change I needed to make changes....and I'm glad now I did

D

Anna

I think we've all gone through that, I know I did. The voice in your head is the disease and it's trying to destroy you. It's good that you recognize that you need to stop drinking. You said if you stop drinking you won't have a life anymore, but it sounds like alcohol is ruining your life. I had blackouts too towards the end of my drinking and those are terrifying. I had no idea what I had done when I was blacked out and to this day, I have no idea. Yes, stopping drinking will mean making changes in your life, but you can do it.

Hevyn

Welcome missalchy. It's so good you're asking yourself these questions now. I had all those same feelings at your age, but refused to admit I couldn't control myself. As a result, my life was filled with chaos, drama, and danger. Every time I picked up I turned into someone I didn't recognize - and unpredictable things always happened. I kept insisting willpower alone would help me control the amounts - but it never, ever worked.

You'll be saving yourself a life of misery by stopping now. We are here to help. This place will give you amazing support and hope.

Haltman

Hello Miss,

Actually my wife got sober at 22 years of age because of her blackouts.
She is now 52 years old and claims she has never been happier.
She doesn't like this internet stuff, or I would get her on here to talk with you.

pmungo

Hi there missalchy you have come to the right place
man this sound like me when i was your age, i had serious drink problem at this age, was always fighting with the man i love. which now im nearly 40 and thing did not change much, just got a whole whole lot worse. until i decided enough was enough i had to stop or loss everything including my life. Hope you never have to get this far before you stop, because the time has gone by so quickly. For me it was really important to do some inner searching and get educated toward alcohol, i could not have just a couple of drinks, because i was drinking for effect get it down as quick as poss get the effect quick as poss. Blackout was common also My health suffered, i was young attractive and skinny but after years of abuse ive put on over 3 stone, my looks and skin are wrecked, my liver is inlarged ect. I could not quitt on my own so i got help proffesional addition help, support from my hubby and this site, reading the experiances of others. It was hard saying goodbye to an old freind, not a very good friend mind and taking it day at a time, but ive been three week sober and loving been free of the awful hangovers and feeling assotiated with it. Im not trying to scare you this is the hard reality of what drink can do to ones life, if your like me the only way to control alcohol is to not drink at all. Beside theres a saying "there is not enough time to make all your own mistakes so learn from others" i think thats how it goes
hope all works out for you regards

missalchy

Thank you guys for your input & comments.. It is incredibly refreshing to hear that I'm not alone & many others have, or are going through the same struggle. Ana, you made a great point in saying that the truth is, alcohol is ruining my life. I've known this for a long time but I always find other reasons to blame my aggressive episodes (I had a bad day, I was already in a fight with my bf, etc.) & Hevyn, I felt relieved after reading your comment. You went thru the same struggle & like you, I turn into someone I don't know or WANT to know when I drink. Thank you all for the support, I can't exactly talk to my friends about this problem because they just wouldn't understand. I feel much more hopeful after reading your comments & other posts that are similar.. xo

AnotherPaul

Nothing really to add to what's above, but I congratulate you for having the self-awareness at such a young age to realize that you have a problem and start taking steps to fix it. Many of us are already in trouble at that age, but most of us don't fix it until many years later. I'm about to turn 37 and I've only been sober for a month. I'd give anything to be able to rewind my life back to age 22 and do the last 15 years over again the right way. You have that chance. Make the most of it and best of luck to you.

Db1105

I got sober when I was 17 years old. For me it was a matter of life and death. I tried to do it on my own, and my way, but I kept ending up drunk. I had numerous disorderly conduct arrest, trips to the nut house, overdoses, rehabs and all kinds of counseling. The only thing I didn't do way die. So, stopping drinking was a matter of life and death for me. Thanks to the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and The Twelve Steps, I haven't had a drink in a long time.

isinganyway

Girl!!! I'm 22 and I quit when I was 21, back in October... I was a functional binge drinker. And you know what... life is so much better even though it wasn't "THAT" bad before. YOU CAN TOTALLY DO IT. Please message me if you ever need to talk. I thought it would be impossible and that I would lose my entire social life, and I did have to make some big changes... but life is better in so many ways.

It only gets harder to quit as you get older.

Twenties

I'm 21 and have committed to sobriety. I'm a college student was formerly huge in the bars and partying. It's all my friends did. I struggled with it too.

I've committed to sobriety.

...and I'm able to live a life now better than I could have imagined. Before, I couldn't possibly imagine a life without alcohol.

If you want it, you can have it too...feel free to send me a message, or keep coming back to these forums.

JungleGirl

Hi missalchy

I'm 25 and have been sober for 4 and a half months now, I was worried I would lose my social life and be bored etc too but to be honest my life is so much better without alcohol. I completely messed up my first relationship through drinking, I would get violent and aggressive and flirty with other men, things I would NEVER do when I'm sober and it destroyed us. I lost friends through my drinking and aggresive behaviour too.

None of it is worth it, you just have to to ask yourself why? why do you keep drinking when it has such a negative impact on your life, do the benefits of drinking outweigh the benefits of being sober? definitely not life is cleaner, healthier and happier when your sober.

xx