DaveK

Hi guys
I am new here. I joined because I needed some new or fresh perspectives. I have been in and out of AA for two years and currently have managed to put together 6 months of sobriety but I feel terrible. I have depression I think, either that or post withdrawal symptoms or whatever, basically I have no positivity left and I started slacking from the program recently also because I can't get my head around it, It feels to abstract and absurd the concept of a Higher Power. Anway, I really am struggling to cope. I live in Poland and there is only one meeting everyday and it clashes with my work all the time, so I used that as an excuse to not go. I don't know, it just feels that the bottom has fallen out of my life recently, I have money problems, debts, health anxiety, I hate how I look, I lost all my confidence and right now I am just white knuckling sobriety. I don't know if this is all connected to my alcoholism, or if I am depressed, neurotic or what. But I am officially out of ideas. I don't think AA is for me, and I can't afford a therapist so I guess I just have to wait. This too shall pass etc etc.
Has anyone every felt so lost after a few months of sobriety, does it pass?
thanks

sugarbear1

Have you worked the steps? Recovery, relief, and freedom are in the action or working those steps. AA is also online. Private email me if you'd like.

research these online:

Power to Quit
Rational Recovery
AVRT recovery
SMART recovery
Life Ring
Women for Sobriety

I wish you well on your sober journey!

tomsteve

yes, i did feel lost at one pont. thats when i had to stop complicating it, get a sponsor and work the steps. seemed to help pretty good.

kiwi1971

I'm only four days in Dave so not sure how much help I can be. I've been sober for a year before but didn't experience what you are going through. I have two thoughts for you though and I hope they help:

1) Yesterday I read a suggestion from someone about thinking "of the last time you woke up with a hangover and how that made you feel". Hopefully you can remember that far back

2) When I admitted that I was an alcoholic it made me reflect on all the stupid, hurtful, illegal and shameful things I had ever done in my life...and prety much all of them were related to my drinking. If I don't drink I wont do any of those anymore. So, I guess I have giving up one thing in my life but gained my dignity and self respect back as a result. It's a small sacrifice for gaining back so much.

I wish you all the best, Hang in there buddy

Haltman

Eventually it will pass. And when it does, you will be ready for the next challenge. It's a lifelong process. Need to start somewhere. Better to start young. The longer you wait, the more the life gets wasted. And I don't mean
wasted in a fun way. Try not to give up.

MIRecovery

Unfortunately the sobriety fairy does not come and bless you with sobriety and happiness just because you go to AA meetings once in a while. As others have mentioned get a sponsor and work the steps.

I had problems with getting my arms around AA at the beginning. My sponsor pointed out that I did not have to. Just show up to meetings and move forward a day at a time. Eventually it will start to make sense but the program of AA is not something you graduate from. You just continue to grow.

Wastinglife

Hi Dave,
I was 6 months sober up until 2 weeks ago when I decided to go out after work for a drink with co-workers. That turned into 4 days of non-stop beer drinking. I have been 9 days sober since, but it really reinforced the fact that I can't ever drink. It was boredom and indifference that set me off I think. For 6 months, I was isolated socially and generally dissatisfied with things. However, my relapse was terrible and I wish I could just go back to being bored. Alcohol turns boredom into chaos for me and threatens my life on every level. Whatever you do, don't pick up a drink. The rest will sort itself out if you stay sober.

omegasupreme

The honeymoon is over. No more dress rehearsals. That's real life you are waking to or stepwise speaking, the back half of step 1, an unmanageable life to put it mildly.

I've had several periods of recovery like that, the first around 6ish months, got a sponsor, began the steps, got a bit of relief. Then again around 18ish months it hit harder, tenfold. By that point my sponsor had relapsed and I knew I was right behind him if something didn't change. I felt the same, that if this was all AA could produce then it wasn't for me.

Long story short, I had to get into action. I had to get involved in my own recovery. I searched the globe for like minded people and guess what? They showed up. Facebook, Skype, email, etc...

All my silly concepts of what I thought God should or shouldn't be eventually got tossed aside thanks to exactly what you said, and that's that you are out of ideas. I was out of ideas, 2 years away from a drink, miserable, wanting to kill myself and a few others. All the pressure from living in that position long enough surrendered me of the last of my ideas. My ideas that I had any business drunk or sober running my life. I quit.

I drew a line in the sand and from that day on agreed to follow every direction in that text book. In doing so I was freed from what you described in your post. You can have some too buddy, it's there for the taking.

That's what going to any length looked like for me. I suit up and show up and the power behind the name, God, does for me miraculous things I could never do for myself. Fortunately for me, God doesn't care how I feel or whether or not I doubt that this time it will work, or get me through this or that. I take that action and it happens automatically.