snowed

My husband has been in recovery from cocaine abuse for two and a half months. I found out he was an addict in October, while I was seven months pregnant. Luckily, we had a healthy baby at the end of November. I have joined Al anon and go to therapy. Most days, I do okay, but today I am really angry with him. He stole a ton, I mean a ton, of money from me and my family. He also stole money from his own family. They have been TERRIBLE to me - not helping at all in his recovery -- blaming me, in denial, perpetuating codependent behaviors. I just don't know how to ever trust him again. And I want to protect my kids. I don't know if I am strong enough to end the marriage though. I love him. My daughter will blame me for the divorce. Any advice? Can a marriage ever survive this type of turmoil? My family pretty much HATES him and wants me to divorce him. And Christmas is next week. We will have to deal with all of our crazy relatives.

escapist

You are right to be angry. He did you and your family wrong. Trust has been thrown away .
No one could love me sober. I stopped because I truly wanted to . I disappointed a lot of people while I was drinking every day.
You have to make your own decision about your marriage. Your parents don't have to live with him and you don't have to leave him to make them happy. Even if you did they will probably still be mad anyway.

MIRecovery

You should be angry but be able to forgive and move on assuming he holds up his end of the deal.

I regain trust a day at a time. It is the best I can do. My past is my past but I work very hard at being a different person today.

Anna

Your husband has been in recovery for two and a half months and it sounds like you are working on yourself as well. It's understandable that there is anger, but you need to get past the anger and resentment if you want to move forward as a couple.

If his family blames you and are terrible to you, stay away from them. The important thing now is for you to take care of yourself and your child.

snowed

Thank you so much for the support. It is exactly what I need to hear. I am glad I joined this forum. Really, thank you.

snowed

Escapist, That is wise that you say they would probably still be angry. You are right about that. What's done, is done. Serenity prayer!

snowed

I just don't know how to pay the money back to my family. I could deplete all of our savings, but that is me saving his butt again. I want and need him to pay it back, but what if he does not. His credit stinks, and he cannot get a loan.

escapist

He will have to figure that out. He needs to stick with his recovery. Once he does that he will have he ability to solve the money problem. Does he work?

snowed

Yes, but his recovery is interfering with that even. He is doing the 90 meetings in 90 days thing for NA. I am fully supporting that. But, as a result, he is not getting full days in. He is working about half time. He will have 90 days by the first of the year though. Each week he is getting more hours. He was in rehab the first six weeks. It was outpatient though, so he was working part time then too.