Negative self talk?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
Negative self talk?
Hello all. Coming up on 7 months sober. The problem is my negative talk to myself seems to be getting worse. I know it's my addiction trying to get the best of me, but when I seem to talk back to it or fight it it gets worst. Maybe I haven't been to persistent with it. It's just me and my thoughts all day. I really don't want to relapse, but my mind plays tricks on me. How did anyone deal with your negative self talk?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I think that being aware is the first step.
When you notice the negative self-talk start, pause, talk back to yourself and then immediately go to a positive thought. It's a good idea to have a special positive thought in mind, like walking on your favorite beach, and focus on that.
When you notice the negative self-talk start, pause, talk back to yourself and then immediately go to a positive thought. It's a good idea to have a special positive thought in mind, like walking on your favorite beach, and focus on that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 625
I carried a small notebook and a pen with me for some time and recorded each negative thought for months. Each night I would look at it and ask myself where each thought came from, considered its origins and determine whether or not there was any merit to them. When I found one that I decided had merit, I would fom a plan of action to substitute the behavior that brought about the negative thought.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Congrats on 7 months—that's fantastic!
My advice is to not fight or engage in a debate with that voice—just be aware of it, and keep reminding yourself that such talk is your addiction rattling around, trying to get you to doubt yourself and the path you've chosen.
As has already been suggested, let your own voice counter with the positive. But to me that's different than trying to stop the voice of addiction, which I view as something I can't really control.
It's kinda like this: one of my neighbors has a little dog that likes to bark. I can't control that. But what I can control is how I react. I could get really frustrated, work myself up into a lather about it, spend every minute thinking about the dog, waiting for the next bark.... Or I could just say to myself, "Oh, there's that dog again. Oh, well, it's not that loud. I'll just play some nice music, keep my ears busy with that for a while."
You know which voice to believe, and which to dismiss. Silly addiction—it still thinks it can trick you. But sooner or later it will realize you've come way too far to ever turn back.
My advice is to not fight or engage in a debate with that voice—just be aware of it, and keep reminding yourself that such talk is your addiction rattling around, trying to get you to doubt yourself and the path you've chosen.
As has already been suggested, let your own voice counter with the positive. But to me that's different than trying to stop the voice of addiction, which I view as something I can't really control.
It's kinda like this: one of my neighbors has a little dog that likes to bark. I can't control that. But what I can control is how I react. I could get really frustrated, work myself up into a lather about it, spend every minute thinking about the dog, waiting for the next bark.... Or I could just say to myself, "Oh, there's that dog again. Oh, well, it's not that loud. I'll just play some nice music, keep my ears busy with that for a while."
You know which voice to believe, and which to dismiss. Silly addiction—it still thinks it can trick you. But sooner or later it will realize you've come way too far to ever turn back.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
Thanks everyone for the kind words. Legna funny you say that. I just started keeping a journal of my negative self talk today. Heres what I got: Oh no this anxious feeling is back. I have a bad dopamine deficiency and I am bound to relapse. OMG I dont want to relapse. Now Im more nervous. Writing this down isnt going to work. AA is the only thing that can prevent me from relapse. Six months and you think about this more. You are getting worse. I have no control over this. What am I going to do. I don't know but relapsing isnt an option. You may have no choice. But your sober now and not using so you win.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Once I get started in an argument, it's difficult to stop it and move on, maybe because of the investment I think I have in the outcome. OK. This becomes a real problem if I start having an internal argument, because then it goes back and forth, getting louder, and then I end up stuck. Or drinking.
I've learned to recognize this negative self talk without getting into an argument now. There is usually some assumption of mine that was responsible for the self talk, and that assumption just isn't true. For example, everyone has to like me, I always have to succeed, I can never have any discomfort, I can never be angry or sad. These ideas can't possibly describe any real world.
So, I accept the emotion, look at it, and move on. The same idea works with urges to drink too. I need a drink? Meh, as if, and move on. Maybe these ideas can help you too.
I've learned to recognize this negative self talk without getting into an argument now. There is usually some assumption of mine that was responsible for the self talk, and that assumption just isn't true. For example, everyone has to like me, I always have to succeed, I can never have any discomfort, I can never be angry or sad. These ideas can't possibly describe any real world.
So, I accept the emotion, look at it, and move on. The same idea works with urges to drink too. I need a drink? Meh, as if, and move on. Maybe these ideas can help you too.
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