Welp...I think I set a new record
 

Have a relapse the same day I start posting here. I had been feeling pretty decent for the past 2 days and then my head started pounding out of nowhere. So I decided to make a break to Walgreen's for ibuprofen. Naturally, it's at the back of the store and Moms are shopping with their kids. Lines were long and I thought I might drop. Had to get the cashier to process my card. I was mortified and it's right by my subdivision.

Almost a week down the drain...

Hello Friend!

For what it's worth - I relapse every day, and I have not had a drink since 2004. That is to say, I am a recovered alcoholic - drinking has no current symptom or manifest in my life. However, I struggle everyday with over-reliance on self, or more simply, my need to control.

Even when I have suffered a chemical lapse, I have come to see that I still had the time I was abstinent.

For me, I was good at quitting, I had lost of practice. It's the stay quit part that was problematic. The first year is filled with these type of lessons - that';s why it's a simple thing to recover, just not easy.

You did, in essence, a 10th Step on this lapse, so sounds like you are on the right path...

B

Thanks for the kind words. My family are all open and honest and supportive. It wasn't a choice I wanted, but I've never felt that way..and being in public. My family means more than anything. Being the holidays and family flying in, it would kill me if I thought I let them down.

Nope, no record. I've been on this site for five years and am sober two.
I would relapse and read posts here drunk. Or hungover.

Hang in there buddy, get a few days behind you .

Best to you for the holidays.

It took a relapse for me to realize that quitting was more than just a decision that I had to make (though an important part). The addiction wasn't going to just let me go.

It was more than quitting drinking. I had to recovery from alcoholism.

Perhaps you need to find a recovery program, some form of face-to-face support to get you through this. I won't mention any particular method, but something more structured than your current plan...whatever that it, which isn't working.

Thanks Ghost and Carl. I had a couple beers for the withdrawals because it was just too bad to do alone. Hopefully those 2 beers will be the last I need.