andisa

In recent days I've had multiple opportunities to ask for help. Maybe I'm asking the wrong question or phrasing it wrong or just avoiding the question altogether. I don't want to bother anyone. Maybe just don't want to be exposed, or do the work, or endure what fallout might result from change. Makes me think I'm not really serious about doing anything. Maybe I don't have it in me to proceed. I don't even know why I'm writing this, when change doesn't seem possible, and I don't know how to start.

Sapling

I heard a lady in a meeting say one day....When the fear of the known...Was greater than the fear of the unknown....That was the time she reached out for help. I think that was true for me too.

sugarbear1

Apparently you enjoy sitting in your own pain.

When you've had enough, there are things you can do about it!

lilyrosemary

change IS possible. And, where to start? maybe you just did?

andisa

Watching a program on FDR this past week I heard his famous quote about fear, and it's true. Fear of the unknown is the other great fear.
I just logged onto NA meeting search and since my last check (probably a year ago) they've added a meeting in the city, at 7am on Wednesday. I can't do evening meetings (fear of exposure) but can do 7am. That is a place to start. I come here when feeling hopeless, or in need. I don't need much, but something. Thanks Sapling.

andisa

well I don't enjoy pain, it doesn't feel painful when you live in it long enough. After decades we become accustomed to our surroundings, maybe just numb.

and yes lily, maybe.

sugarbear1

that is delusional thinking

Go get yourself well!!!

MIRecovery

Maybe if you post the same question enough times eventually you will get the answer you want. You will find someone that tells you to continue just as you are. That a world of secrets is just where you should be. That addiction is OK. That getting used to misery is as good as life gets.

Until then I think you will find most in disagreement.

Sapling

Beautiful.

MIRecovery

Change is never easy but a baby steps are not impossible and are moving in the right direction. Congrats on the meeting now just go.

hamabi

It's entirely possible for you to stop drinking for the rest of your lifetime. Highly unlikely it would be harder for you than it has been for others. Or very much easier.

Wanting a solution enough to act to get it for yourself is a start. Wanting and not acting is most likely just another drinking fantasy.

2granddaughters

Go to the meeting, get a sponsor and follow that sponsor out of the mire.

It can be done... I did it.

All the best.

Bob R

hypochondriac

I think asking for help takes practice. I'm not very good at it either but I have noticed it gets easier the more I do it. Just do little positive things all the time for your recovery, keep moving forwards and it'll all fall into place x

Dee74

I can identify with being comfortable in pain, delusional thinking or not, it felt real and I operated that way for many years.

I feared and suspected I was, genuinely, incapable of change - but like Sapling when my fear of the way I was headed outstripped my fear of what change might bring I was shocked out of my stupor.

I've never regretted stepping out of that 'analysis paralysis' and changing my life - I left behind a lot of things I didn't need and found a lot of things I didn't know I wanted.

D

MIRecovery

This is exactly what happened to me. For the first time in my life I let someone guide me. I surrendered which I have come to believe is just joining the winning side

andisa

I'll be back if I make a move. Until then, I'm just stalling. Thanks for your words, all. It's time to make a move.

MIRecovery

Yes it time