Day 7 of the rest of my life
Day 7 of the rest of my life
I don't give myself any credit what so ever for staying sober.
Last Sundays events and the pain I am still in made it so that I would never consider it. Ever.
How long will that last? When will I have to deal with the first temptation?
I don't just face that getting drunk leaves me vulnerable to what happened last week until I can change that. Forever more I will feel exposed to harm if I drink even one sip.
I know... I know... We all are. That's not the point here.
This is the first time I am feeling that and knowing that. I have heard others many many times what it means to drink.
Never did i feel like this. Never did i connect with what was said.
I read some of my posts and I have to say.... Not one of those words has the emotions of today.
Everything pales. The seriousness of this moment is off the charts.
I had a fantastic sober weekend. I paid attention to what it was I wanted and did as I pleased without any concern for anyone else. This is my sobriety. My life. I never want to give any control away ever again. Ever.
Did I say ever?
Last Sundays events and the pain I am still in made it so that I would never consider it. Ever.
How long will that last? When will I have to deal with the first temptation?
I don't just face that getting drunk leaves me vulnerable to what happened last week until I can change that. Forever more I will feel exposed to harm if I drink even one sip.
I know... I know... We all are. That's not the point here.
This is the first time I am feeling that and knowing that. I have heard others many many times what it means to drink.
Never did i feel like this. Never did i connect with what was said.
I read some of my posts and I have to say.... Not one of those words has the emotions of today.
Everything pales. The seriousness of this moment is off the charts.
I had a fantastic sober weekend. I paid attention to what it was I wanted and did as I pleased without any concern for anyone else. This is my sobriety. My life. I never want to give any control away ever again. Ever.
Did I say ever?
Dee... Things are not any brighter. I have a lot of change in front of me. But I have two options don't I?
Fight it or go with it. I am done fighting.
So I just need to keep looking up.
You and people here are helping me more than words can say!
Ken
Fight it or go with it. I am done fighting.
So I just need to keep looking up.
You and people here are helping me more than words can say!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Ken, I so hope that you continue to move forward as you have been this past week. Sometimes we have to go through a lot of pain in order to make the changes we need to make.
And, Henry is gorgeous.
And, Henry is gorgeous.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
That is Ozzwald, the siamese lilac lynxpoint wannabe barn cat...he was the runt of a litter of barn cats from my friend's farm, his mama was killed.... she brought him into the house with the inside kittens... and insisted he come live with me.... and be spoiled forever.:ghug3
Congratulations on your week, Weasel! Wow, what a post! Sounds like you've gone beyond knowing "intellectually" that you can't drink, and knowing it on a gut level. That's a good thing.....:ghug3
Ken, I'm so happy you've come to this realization. You are much younger than I was when I finally 'got it'. You'll have an amazing, long, and healthy life ahead of you. With eyes wide open - no fog.
Im right there with you too.
If I chose the insane idea to drink again Id be giving away my life and my familys along with it.
Cannot take that chance ever again.
Im on pins and needles as well wondering when those thoughts will cross my mind again.
If I chose the insane idea to drink again Id be giving away my life and my familys along with it.
Cannot take that chance ever again.
Im on pins and needles as well wondering when those thoughts will cross my mind again.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)