Nothing I try seems to work.
 

I'm a very determined person. People say I'm very strong.

Right now, I'm lost.

Been fighting this thing for nearly 20 years and it's just getting worse. This year has been the worst ever. I dread to think what 2013 has in store unless I stop.

Please help.

x

What have you tried?...And how much did you put into it?

By the way...As long as you keep drinking...It will get worse. I can promise you that.

I know.

I have tried AA, hypnotherapy, Antabuse, cutting down, cold turkey, counselling... all about 20 times each.

I like to think that I won't ever give up giving up, but today I just don't know..

I'm full of self hated today. Sorry :-(

Let me ask you something. I tried AA once too. I went to a meeting and nothing happened. Then I realized it wasn't much of an effort. When I was asked if I could commit to doing 90 meetings in 90 days...Studying the book and getting a sponsor to help me do what the book told me I needed to do...It worked for me...I wanted it that bad...Or alcohol was going to kill me. Do you think you could commit to something like that?

I have tried AA about 4 times and the first 3 times I hated it, but the last time I went to one meeting and found it helped. But as usual after a few weeks sober I managed to convince myself that I could drink 'normally'.

90 meetings in 90 days... It would be tough as I'm a single parent but maybe I could.

How did you find fitting life in around the meetings?

i am one who has recovered fromt he hopelsss state of mind that made me drink through AA. i didnt fit my life around meetings. i made it part of my life. however, going to meetings and not drinking isnt how i recovered from the hopeless state of mind.it was only part of it. i also got a sponsor and working the steps as outlined in the BB.

The same way I found fitting life around my drinking. And it was only an hour a day.

+1!

to think i had all the time i had to drink, but i didnt have any time to get help to stop drinking was part of the insanity.

Do you WANT to stop drinking?
You have to take real action, put some energy into it. Almost as much effort as you put into drinking.
You're a single parent, but is your child parenting you while you indulge your addiction? Believe me, they will remember that you are an alcoholic.

Sometimes our "determination" is little more than stubbornness and is far more of a liability than an asset.

As in AA's HOW IT WORKS says "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path" ... I have to thoroughly follow their path.

I found that I needed surrender and teachability more than determination to begin to get the AA program.
Alcoholics of my type don't take naturally to surrender...... I seem to have a stubborn "I'll die first before I'll do that AA stuff" in me. God smiles and whispers "I gave you free will, it's your choice".

I wish you the best, bunny.

Bob R

The main thing is to not give up. I am a really determined person, too and I had to believe that drinking was no longer an option, ever, and then my mind started to find healthier ways to deal with life. Do whatever it takes for you to get sober.

It all came down to one question I had to ask myself ultrabunny....After 35 years of drinking. What am I willing to do to save my life?

Welcome to SR UltraBunny :)

Stop fighting and surrender. Acceptance has been a big thing/hurdle for me. If you are entirely honest are there bits of you which think you don't need to quit?

Add these to your things to try:

AVRT (Rational Recovery)
SMART recovery
Allan Carr/Jason Vale books
Posting here daily

Do whatever it takes. And don't feel bad, stay positive. You can do this. I am a very strong person too but this one had me stumped. I needed help. Get all you can can :) x

I am in the uk too. Do you go to aa daily?

I don't go daily now...I went twice a day my first 90 days. Coming up on a year and a half without a drink...I still like to go to 4 or 5 a week. I like helping newcomers....Show them hope that was showed to me. I'm enjoying living now.

Remember...The solution is taking the steps...Meetings kept me grounded...Recovery is the steps.

So true! Before I actually "got" it, I would tell people, "Well, I tried AA and it didn't work for me." Well, it didn't work for me because I only went to 3 weeks worth of meetings (about 6 total meetings, didn't stick around, didn't even put forth effort other than sitting my butt in the chair and drinking coffee) and I didn't work the program. I kinda liken it to a diet. lol :c031: If I diet for one day, (or 6!) I'm not going to lose weight. It takes a lifestyle change to get my body slim and muscular. Same with my sobriety. I have to work a sober program. It isn't just about staying "dry". Almost anyone can white knuckle a few days. Sobriety is different from abstaining.

That's a real good analogy.

The fact that xmas is looming doesnt help. I tried to not drink last year and it ended in me binge drinking :-(

I wish it was the new year already