Sapling

No time like the present...I had to make it through July fourth...That's a biggie in the US. It's all how bad you want it ultrabunny...This once hopeless alcoholic is just letting you know it can be done.

Wastinglife

Have you considered in-patient rehab treatment? That is how I finally broke the cycle.

ultrabunny

Single parent...no money..in a lot of debt.

Fandy

why don't you read here and think about what the best approach would be for you.

be practical.....if you are heavily in debt, how can you justify spending so much $$ on booze that could go for providing a better more stable life?

AA is free, AVRT is downloadable and you can read here 24/7, and tailor a program that works for you....i think the most important thing is that you realize your life is going downward and you want to change....that is a huge step in the right direction, you want to change.

sometimes the AA promotion here can be overwhelming, you don't have to do what works for others.....

you do what works best for you, it can be as simple as connecting with others and taking baby steps too. I try to find one thing to be grateful for every day, i've built on that and changed my outlook, stopped drinking and feel so much less depressed, anxious, and my wallet is fatter....I did most of this here with the good people who helped me.

Sapling

I'm not trying to be harsh here ultrabunny....But all I'm seeing here is reasons it can't work. If it's going to work....That's the first thing that's going to have to change.

Jeni26

Hi. I'm in the UK. I went 7 weeks without drinking in March by going to 3 meetings a week, but relapsed in May. When I returned to the meetings (it took a couple of weeks because I was so devastated to have fallen off the wagon), I really upped my game. Asked someone to sponsor me and started working the steps. That has made the real difference with me.
I'm now 6+ months sober, still going to 3 meetings a week, plus an evening working with my sponsor. I work full-time in a demanding job and often have to go straight to my meetings on the way home.
It is really hard sometimes to fit it in, and when the nights are cold and dark I would far rather snuggle up at home in the warm. But, I am not prepared to take any chances with my sobriety. Relapsing was just awful. I will do anything to protect this new life of mine, I'm just discovering a calmness and peace I never believed could exist for me.
Whatever path you choose, commit to it 100%.
You really won't regret it x

Minimus

I, too, fought this thing for 20 years. I always lost - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Fighting it doesn't seem to work for many of us. Fighting it could even sometimes be a part of the problem, not the solution. Quitting drinking doesn't work very well for this thing either. The problem for most is not quitting but staying quit.

Advanced desperation to the point of serious suicidal thinking, followed by (initially) involuntary rehab and lots and lots of AA afterwards has kept me sober so far for many years.

Recovering from "this thing" is lots harder than it looks, but it does happen, and in all kinds of ways.

Good luck!

Sapling

Welcome to SR Minimus...Always nice too see another miracle.

Joe Nerv

When I took my first step through the door of recovery, there was no doubt that this was a matter of life or death for me. I guess that's the big benefit of hitting a really hard bottom. Because of that, I was completely and totally willing to do whatever was asked of me. I haven't had a drink since. I feel I was also fortunate that I wasn't offered a smorgasboard of recovery options. Had I, I honestly don't think I'd be sober today. I'd want to check them all out, I'd want to see which one "fit" best, I'd want to see where I was the most comfortable... and that's not what I needed. I needed to be where my life, my spirit, my brain, my everything would be uprooted and replanted. That meant sitting through a lof of uncomofortability, and doing a lot of things that my alcoholic self REALLY didn't want to do. Things I didn't feel comfortable doing. I only did them because I had no other choice. That was almost 29 years ago, and I can't begin to tell how much my life has turned around. I went from a completely non functioning agoraphobic alcoholic who had to drink every single day, to a complete human being with experiences I never imagined having. I had nothing before I picked up or put down the drink, no education, no motivation, no life. After, I obtained a college education, got involved in theater while in college, becamme a teacher, traveled the world, lived out teenage fantasies of being a rock star by touring with some well known musicians, moved out of my parents house (something I resigned early in life to never do ), became a landlord (that one still freaks me out), got into the best physical shape of my life, met an angel and married her on a beach in Hawaii and we're still best friends after 17 years, quit smoking, became a responsible and well respected person... I could go on and on and on and on.... which I do sometimes at meetings. I state too when I'm sharing that I feel as though I'm bragging, but I'm not. I'm living proof of how AA can work for people if they're open to it, and I feel a responsibility to share that. And while the things mentioned above are mostly exeternal, they would have never been possible if internal things hadn't healed and changed.

I can't stress enough how none of the above was in my plans, or even my imagination. My first month of sobriety I wrote in a journal that my goal in life was to be able to leave my house, get on a train or bus, visit a mall, buy something (underwear or whatever), and get back home. Only an agoraphic, or someone who experienced the fear I did could understand what an accomplishment that would have been at the time. Actually took over a year until I was capable of it. Anyhow, a long story to make a simple point....

When I entered into recovery my first sponsor asked before being willing to sponsor me, "Are you willing to go to any lengths in order to get sober?!?". I was. He followed with making sure I understood that this was a life or death thing, which in my place at that time, I knew it was. I was wide open, and nothing, I mean NOTHING came before sobriety on my priority list for the first 5 years. 3 decades later I have absolutely no regrets, and a whole of gratitude. AA was a bridge back to life for me. Actually, it was a bridge TO life for me, as I had no life before alcohol.

Xune

Stop fighting.

Surrender to alcohol and know you can never drink alcohol again.

Imagine your struggle as a boxing match. For twenty years you've been stepping into the ring with an opponent who has kicked your ass every time you fought him.

Finally, you understand that no matter what you do, you are simply incapable of beating your opponent.

So one day, instead of once again stepping into the ring to fight him, you decide that you aren't going to fight.

You admit defeat, refuse to step into the ring and walk away...never to lose again.

Sapling

Awesome share Joe!

mecanix

For me my alcoholism was an ego thing ..

I had to give in to it and find acceptance rather than fight it , As when it was a will power thing my sober self always had weaker moments than my alcoholic ego .

Hope you find the right way to set about yours ,

Bestwishes, M

Xune

When I stopped drinking on the 4th of July 2012, my effort wasn't something I was 'trying out'.

Not drinking alcohol was something I was doing and continue doing for the rest of my life.

I'm not trying to remain sober, I am remaining sober.

Q - Will you pass the test?

A - I'm going to try and pass.

Try;

Q - Will you pass the test?

A - Absolutely, I'm going to pass the test.

Now, which statement exudes confidence?

Lastly, we can't wish our problems away, so that's an avenue I never proceed.

DrunkTx

Before Columbus, the world thought there was a cliff at the end of the ocean. So the world didn't dare approach the cliff. You know what happened when Columbus reached the cliff? The world kept going. we exhault alcohol, we revere it, and we are terrified of its loss. You know what happens when you remove alcohol? The world goes on! Stop giving alcohol the repect it doesn't deserve. Like Columbus, you will find the new world, just stop stressing it.

ru12

Bunny,

nothing got better until I quit drinking. It was my choice. It was my decision. You do not have to go to AA to stop drinking. I'm sober two years now by simply refusing to drink. I hope you find something that works for you.

Sapling

No...You don't have to go to AA to get sober. I did. I guess if quitting drinking after a 35 year career that I had was as simple as saying I've had enough....I would have done that. I just thank God AA is there for people like me.

artsoul

Welcome back, ultrabunny -

Don't worry about Christmas, just find a way to stay sober today, minute by minute if you have to. It's scary and your addiction will give you every excuse to have "just one more," but each time you don't act on those thoughts you'll be closer to a happier and healthier you.

I had to make sobriety my #1 priority and I lived on this forum for days just to get through the cravings. It's not easy, but it's worth it.:ghug3

Fandy

I hope you don't get run over by the AA welcome wagon.

For me, it got to the point where booze was ruining and running my life....that made me angry, that I was being controlled by a liquid...it's rather ridicules.

stopping was hard, continuing to drink, spend almost $350 a month on booze and be ill was just stupid....I chose the common sense method and my own determination and inner strength is working.

connecting here daily is most helpful.

ultrabunny

It is hard sometimes. This forum is awesome but I have often felt that just because I dont feel that AA is for me... Im not trying hard enough :-(

Fandy

You 'll see that this is not a strict AA website. if it becomes too much, use the ignore button for those who are preaching....you won't see what they post unless you un-ignore them.

If you want to quit you can try any other method, or just take it day by day. You dont have to do anything except not drink and rediscover your real self.