ideas needed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Nottingham, England
Posts: 25
Thankyou for all those ideas 
I'm starting over again today, does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety? I now have the support of my closest friend, he kept asking why i wasnt drinking and dismissing all my reasons until I told him that i wanted to see how long i could go without a drink as im worried I'm getting too reliant. I failed and gave in but feel I'm slightly better equipped to try again today.
I'm starting over again today, does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety? I now have the support of my closest friend, he kept asking why i wasnt drinking and dismissing all my reasons until I told him that i wanted to see how long i could go without a drink as im worried I'm getting too reliant. I failed and gave in but feel I'm slightly better equipped to try again today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by Xune 
I was at a party last night, with about 40 people.
A grand total zero people asked me why I drank club soda all night.
Secondly, you don't owe anyone an explanation.
A grand total zero people asked me why I drank club soda all night.
Secondly, you don't owe anyone an explanation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Nottingham, England
Posts: 25
I think that most of my friends only ask because they want me to admit the truth. They have all expressed concern before, its not like they want me to drink more that they want me to acknowledge that I dont have the control to stop. I cant openly say it yet, iv not even managed one day yet.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
Lexi, why not stop hanging around with them socially for a while? For an alcoholic who hasn't managed to stop I think you're setting yourself up to fail if you just continue to live your life in your old routines.
Give the pub a miss. You won't be missing out and you've got a lot to gain x
Give the pub a miss. You won't be missing out and you've got a lot to gain x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
"does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety?"
For me no.too much temptation and association. That's just me though,going to a pub is to go to drink alcohol.Unless its a one off birthday,party etc. Only you know yourself though.
For me no.too much temptation and association. That's just me though,going to a pub is to go to drink alcohol.Unless its a one off birthday,party etc. Only you know yourself though.
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by lexi1991
Thankyou for all those ideas I'm starting over again today, does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety? I now have the support of my closest friend, he kept asking why i wasnt drinking and dismissing all my reasons until I told him that i wanted to see how long i could go without a drink as im worried I'm getting too reliant. I failed and gave in but feel I'm slightly better equipped to try again today.
I'm starting over again today, does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety? I now have the support of my closest friend, he kept asking why i wasnt drinking and dismissing all my reasons until I told him that i wanted to see how long i could go without a drink as im worried I'm getting too reliant. I failed and gave in but feel I'm slightly better equipped to try again today.I'm an oxy addict with about 6 weeks clean and I would still be afraid to be around any available oxy. Even with time building up resistance to cravings and my growing desire to not use, I know I would still probably not be able to resist. And that's just a pill/bottle not a whole pub full of my doc and people encouraging me to drink.
Try to make it as easy on yourself as you can. It's great you have your friend's support, maybe you can reach out to AA or a counselor, too.
Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Nottingham, England
Posts: 25
Beacause I'm scared of what will happen if i don't go to the pub.
It's basically all I know, my parents are both heavy drinkers so even before i started drinking pretty much most nights have been spent in the pub. I can't remember anything before the age of 7 and all i know since then is to finish work and go to the pub. Im basically just terrified and would rather sit in a pub shaking and sweating and everything else until i can get and stay sober no matter how many day ones I have to face
It's basically all I know, my parents are both heavy drinkers so even before i started drinking pretty much most nights have been spent in the pub. I can't remember anything before the age of 7 and all i know since then is to finish work and go to the pub. Im basically just terrified and would rather sit in a pub shaking and sweating and everything else until i can get and stay sober no matter how many day ones I have to face
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by lexi1991
My main problem is I go to the same pub with the same people every day and none of the excuses iv thought of seem believable to them. I'm really struggling, but its only day one, I cant give in this time I have to see it through. The main reason is tellin them means i have to admit it publicly and also that if i admit that iv admitted to myself that i have a problem it will just prove them right because iv been denying it for ages and i dunno.
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Originally Posted by lexi1991
Beacause I'm scared of what will happen if i don't go to the pub.
It's basically all I know, my parents are both heavy drinkers so even before i started drinking pretty much most nights have been spent in the pub. I can't remember anything before the age of 7 and all i know since then is to finish work and go to the pub. Im basically just terrified and would rather sit in a pub shaking and sweating and everything else until i can get and stay sober no matter how many day ones I have to face
It's basically all I know, my parents are both heavy drinkers so even before i started drinking pretty much most nights have been spent in the pub. I can't remember anything before the age of 7 and all i know since then is to finish work and go to the pub. Im basically just terrified and would rather sit in a pub shaking and sweating and everything else until i can get and stay sober no matter how many day ones I have to face
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by lexi1991
Beacause I'm scared of what will happen if i don't go to the pub.
It's basically all I know, my parents are both heavy drinkers so even before i started drinking pretty much most nights have been spent in the pub. I can't remember anything before the age of 7 and all i know since then is to finish work and go to the pub. Im basically just terrified and would rather sit in a pub shaking and sweating and everything else until i can get and stay sober no matter how many day ones I have to face
It's basically all I know, my parents are both heavy drinkers so even before i started drinking pretty much most nights have been spent in the pub. I can't remember anything before the age of 7 and all i know since then is to finish work and go to the pub. Im basically just terrified and would rather sit in a pub shaking and sweating and everything else until i can get and stay sober no matter how many day ones I have to face
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Nottingham, England
Posts: 25
I'm a coke addict and pothead as well as an alcoholic, iv been clean from coke for nearly two years, but as i stopped coke the other two got worse. Im scared if i don't. go to the pub ill end up back where I was with the coke.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
lexi - I understand your situation but you need to change your lifestyle. How about taking up a hobby and/or outside group.
An excuse for not going to the pub every day is that you have neglected things at home after drinking and just taking a break. (true story here!)
What interests do you have? Photography? Sports? Crafting?
I've taken up crafting with shells and find it relaxing, rewarding and keeps my hands busy.
I'm glad you're here talking and keep us posted. :ghug3
An excuse for not going to the pub every day is that you have neglected things at home after drinking and just taking a break. (true story here!)
What interests do you have? Photography? Sports? Crafting?
I've taken up crafting with shells and find it relaxing, rewarding and keeps my hands busy.
I'm glad you're here talking and keep us posted. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 706
Lexi-
I have found that most non-alkie's don't really care what you drink. But me, with my magnificent magnifying mind, believed that the whole world would come to a sudden halt if I ordered a coke.
The world had a tendency to revolve around me. LOL.
Zube
I have found that most non-alkie's don't really care what you drink. But me, with my magnificent magnifying mind, believed that the whole world would come to a sudden halt if I ordered a coke.
The world had a tendency to revolve around me. LOL.
Zube
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 132
Staying away from bars and drinkers has helped me manage each day tremendously. I really recommend it for you, too. It makes the whole process a lot easier that way, I think.
I have a very close relative who wants to come visit me after Christmas from another state. Normally, I'd love to see him again, but our relationship revolves around drinking - a lot. So...I'm avoiding telling him to come; I think it's best for me not to be around that stuff right now.
I have a very close relative who wants to come visit me after Christmas from another state. Normally, I'd love to see him again, but our relationship revolves around drinking - a lot. So...I'm avoiding telling him to come; I think it's best for me not to be around that stuff right now.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
Originally Posted by lexi1991
Thankyou for all those ideas I'm starting over again today, does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety? I now have the support of my closest friend, he kept asking why i wasnt drinking and dismissing all my reasons until I told him that i wanted to see how long i could go without a drink as im worried I'm getting too reliant. I failed and gave in but feel I'm slightly better equipped to try again today.
I'm starting over again today, does anyone think it is possible for me to keep going to the pub with my friends. and still have a shot at sobriety? I now have the support of my closest friend, he kept asking why i wasnt drinking and dismissing all my reasons until I told him that i wanted to see how long i could go without a drink as im worried I'm getting too reliant. I failed and gave in but feel I'm slightly better equipped to try again today.Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by Camperboy
you are correct, in the big picture they really don`t care.....I remember times asking a friend at some point why they aren`t having a drink but when they have an answer I have basically moved on past really caring.........just simply say "not in the mood"
dub
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Des Moines IA
Posts: 377
I wasn't much of a regular bar drinker, though I did that on occasion. It amounted to drinking alone in a crowd I usually felt little connection with. It sounds as if it's a highly social scene for you, and you feel a responsibility to offer reasons to your friends for your changed behavior, a kind of worry and self-generated pressure to do something to stay accepted by the drinkers in a drinking scene.
It's hard to ignore the members here uniformly telling you that continuing to spend time down the pub right now is a poor choice. You might ask yourself why you need not take them seriously.
It's hard to ignore the members here uniformly telling you that continuing to spend time down the pub right now is a poor choice. You might ask yourself why you need not take them seriously.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by lexi1991
I'm a coke addict and pothead as well as an alcoholic, iv been clean from coke for nearly two years, but as i stopped coke the other two got worse. Im scared if i don't. go to the pub ill end up back where I was with the coke.
dub
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