Cariad2013

New Years Eve the night I have agreed to spend with friends to celebrate. I really don't want to drink, this year I want to wake up sober on new years day.

I can't stop thinking about it, when should I tell them, how will they react, what will I say, hope will I cope with oh go on just have one. ARRRH!!

I can't cancel the night because my hubby and kids are looking forward to going.

I have so much other stuff I need to focus on but I can't stop thinking of this night anybody else wishing they could fast forward christmas

aNewEternity

you have the right not to drink, don't worry about what you will say to anybody. chances are you can come up with any number of more than adequate reasons in the spur of the moment.

MsJax

I wish you didn't feel you had to go cariad. So newly sober and to be in a situation you are already concerned about...not a good recipe. When I got sober I had to make some major changes in how I did things. It is ok to make plans for you & your family that don't involve alcohol. Changing up traditions and doing things a new way are what helps me in sobriety. Best wishes to you.

takintyme

Dear Cariad2013,

I'm newly sober also, and I want to thank you for reminding me how wonderful it will be to be sober on 1/1/2013.

I am going to start making wonderful plans for that day!

A new year, and a new tradition. Feeling great on New Years day.
I muddle through the eve to get to the real celebration!

Thank you
Takintyme

BruceJ

Well...

When should I tell them? Now.

How will they react? Who knows? You don't have any control over that. That's their business...not drinking is your business.

What will I say? That's up to you....something like "I just wanted to let you guys know in advance that I'm not drinking now, don't want to drink on New Years Eve, and please don't pressure me to."

How will I cope with "oh, go on, just have one"? "No thanks"

(Calling hungover people on New Years morning...early...with a smile on your face and a happy voice is always fun. )

All the best.

Cariad2013

Thank you both, these plans were made long before I decided on the importance of being sober. (stupidly though I could quit in the new year)

I keep telling myself I will just say firmly I don't want to wake up with a hang over the next day. I'm worried anything else I might say could offend them because in their eyes I'm exactly the same as them who like to have a good drink.

Cariad2013

Takintyme and Bruce you are spot on the fun will really start in the morning.

I'm planning to walk a mountain new years day with my fab family of four/five including the dog and when I reach the top I will be thankful I am sober.

it's just the agony I have to go through to get there.

Thank you all for you support

Wastinglife

I feel that holiday anxiety creeping up too. I am a single guy, so thankfully I don't have to consider other people if I just skip everything. I am planning to stay in alone on New Years because absolutely everyone I know will be drinking to excess. I am just coming off a relapse and I do not trust myself at a New years party right now.

Camperboy

thats the best thing and all of the people you would have been partying with the night before would give anything to feel the way you are going to feel on Jan 1st...........give them a call in the morning and tell them you want to hook up for a coffee and if them grumble about the hangover or they are tired then you can remind them of that the next time they look at you funny when you decline the offer of a drink..........same thing

Michael66

Have you shared your hopes ans worries with your family Cariad?

Drugssucks

I love Bruce's advice....calling people early on New Year's Day to wish them a Happy New Year! Do whatever you have to do to stay sober. Your health is more important than what others might think or say. Does your husband know what you are going thru? Is he supportive of you? If so, can he and the children go by themselves?

MythOfSisyphus

I can see three main options if you absolutely can't back out of it (which would be the best thing).

1) Flat-out tell everyone you will not be drinking. Stick to your guns, get angry if you must, but don't cave.

2) White Lie #1. Make your own "mocktail" with cranberry juice and club soda. Anything that looks like your normal drink but without any alcohol.

3) White Lie #2. Tell everyone you've come down with some type of infection and are on antibiotics. You can google for the ones that can't be taken with booze or just tell people your doc said no drinking til your meds are done.

The white lies might be the easiest options until you have more sober time under your belt. Just saying no is going to be very tough this early on.

Please be careful! Relapses can occur but don't plan the first one out! Quitting can be tough, you were fortunate to find the strength to commit to quitting this time. If you stumble now will you be strong enough the next time? If you start drinking again, are you sure you'll be able to quit again?

Xune

It doesn't matter how others react to your sobriety.

With that regard, all that matters is that you are sober.

rainyengland

Hi Cariad

I had exactly the same problem - arranged a boozy nite out with friends and then went sober - my nite was yesterday which was day 21 for me - I worried about this since day 3

I bailed - there was no hope of me not drinking in the situation I was heading for and I knew it - sure,I upset a few people but after a quick moan at me things were ok yesterday when i wished them a good nite!

If there is any chance that you think you will drink and wish to keep on recovering then i would go with a little white lie

It's all about you early days - selfish doesn't come into it!

Good luck :-)

Junebugapril

Wow, Cari, I don't envy your situation. On Monday I will have 30 days sober, and I still do not feel capable of being around drinking. I wish there were a way for you to get out of this.