Sapling

Do you have a sponsor?....That's who I had to call every day...At least for my first 90 days.

2granddaughters

What does your sponsor say about all this??

All the best.

Bob R

Sorry, Sapling beat me to it.

AndreTT

dont have one yet

Sapling

A good place to start...Do you know how to go about getting one?

kitkat1

I have seen relative newcomers in AA reach out to early newcomers in that way. There seems to be a natural inclination for some in that situation to try to "save the world" early on, when they are just beginning to figure out how to save themselves. His interest likely comes from a place of concern, but I will ditto what others have said: Honesty is the best policy with this person. But I would agree that getting a sponsor at this point and having daily contact with that person is CRITICAL. I am not a telephone person, sometimes feeling I don't have much to say to my sponsor, but we as alcoholics are prone to isolation, and reaching out to someone in the program you feel you might be able to trust is very important. As far as choosing a sponsor, keep going to meetings and listen to what others share. Find someone who "has what you want." That person may not be someone you just especially like, but look for what seems to be peace and contentment in that person. And if it doesn't work out with the sponsor you choose, you can always get another. Good luck to you.

Sapling

Well said kitkat.

bexxed

OK, so you met this guy ONCE, at ONE meeting you went to, and he's calling you at all hours every day, asking you to go places where you used to drink, and calling you asking bizarre open ended questions? And it hasn't driven you away???

I'd feel stalked if I were you. That dude does not sound like he has good motives. I think the people here are being too nice. Tell him to back off, and then tell other people at the meeting about what he's done. There's a few things:

If he does this to other people, he could be a real wrench to their sobriety. Think about it.

He really may be an obsessive maniac who needs medication. Think about it.

He's misrepresenting AA. I'm not a fan of AA (had my own weirdo experiences with it) but even I know that behavior like that is WAY off base.

Take care of yourself and ditch this dude immediately!

stairs

Do you think he's hitting on you, or maybe wants a friend? I met this lady at a meeting and before I knew it she was calling inviting me to bonfires and her house etc and sending emails with links of places to go with my daughter, and calling every day asking questions about me. In the first couple weeks of being sober I had a lot of pent up stuff and felt awful so didn't think twice about going on and on about things but as I felt better and became a little more reserved, more "normal", the situation struck me as overly weird and I kinda eased out of it by switching over to texts and putting a filter on my email. I don't go to meetings to make social contacts though if I am involved with the group doing social things I'm cool with that.
I think she does consider a meeting a place to make friends who carry over into regular life immediately which just made me uncomfortable.

freshstart57

It sounds like you don't need any suggestions at all, Andre because you aren't drinking, and you are feeling good about it. Obviously no dry drunk label for you!
Just keep on with your fine self.

AndreTT

Yes it has. I'm not taking phone calls anymore and I'm not going to that meeting again. Rather try to stay sober own my own.

sugarbear1

there are other meetings where you can find truly sober people. Meetings are where you can find a sponsor to guide you through the steps.

So sorry you have to go through this.

block his number. If you go to that meeting, talk with others about that guy, maybe he has a history you don't know about.

2granddaughters

You do see how this is falling apart in text right in front of our eyes don't you?

Did you watch the movie "Changing Lanes" where 1 bad decision was followed by another bad decision until all was lost? Very enlightening movie.

All the best.

Bob R

Fandy

Even if you decide to not attend this group anymore, you might want to tell someone in charge of this particular group what this man is trying to do. He sounds very unstable and could continue this behavior with others.

Squizz

Just tell the guy to back off. Don't let one idiot ruin your whole perception of the program. Heck, I just got back from a "gratitude meeting" and a woman there is absolutely insane. She's beyond annoying. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. So what do I do? Just politely walk away from her.

Always remember one thing: You're at an AA meeting. You're bound to meet some weirdos. It's par for the course. Like they say in the literature: "Some are sicker than others."