upandup

I guess the answer was in front of me all along: in a defensive borderline pious voicemail he said he wouldn't apologize. I'll take him at his word.

Bob my sponsor has shared her observations and has been extremely supportive. One of the great things about her is her take no guff attitude.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and wisdom.

hypochondriac

Maybe ask him, if he had an illness he was embarrassed about, oh I don't know, say really bad haemorrhoids or something, how would he feel if you were out with friends and you said 'Oh sorry but xxx can't sit down today because he has awful haemorrhoids'.

It's nothing to be embarrassed about but he might not thank you all the same.

Is he just not apologising because he doesn't like backing down or does he actually think he's right? It is irrelevant either way, he should just respect your wishes x

Fandy

It says a lot about him, not you.
He likes to gossip about you, he won't apologize or even see what he did was just so wrong and intrusive.
If he can't be trusted he's really showing you what he is... a big asshat.

Wastinglife

Yes....I had to move back to my parents' house to get sober. I did rehab and stayed there for a few months after. Of course, my parents told all their friends because as my father said he needed someone to talk to about MY struggles. Meanwhile, I was suffering without anyone to talk to....

Leadfoot

Personal anonymity is the sole responsibility of the member. Some want to keep it a secret while others were hats, t-shirts and put bumper stickers on their cars. Fact remains that it's nobody elses business unless you want it to be. Your BF made an error of ignorance which is forgivable. As for not apologizing? Just remember. All resentments start with one simple thought. "I wanted". Just tell him not to do it again and be done with it.